Summer 2012 Reviews

Movies I've Seen So Far
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1.
The Avengers (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.1/10 X  
Earth's mightiest heroes must come together and learn to fight as a team if they are to stop the mischievous Loki and his alien army from enslaving humanity. (143 mins.)
Director: Joss Whedon
“ ***1/2: A bunch of super heroes thrown together on the big screen could have been an awful mess but Joss Whedon can handle many characters at once and pulled off this film pretty well. Sue me, but the under-rated Amazing Spider-Man is the super hero movie of 2012 that I could watch over and over again and not be tired of it. ” - jwoehr
 
2.
Prometheus (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
Following clues to the origin of mankind, a team find a structure on a distant moon, but they soon find they are not alone. (124 mins.)
Director: Ridley Scott
“ ***1/2: Full of sci-fi cliches and is disappointing in the originality department, yet I love this movie. Just like Avatar, it some amazing eye candy and the end credits scene is a instant hard-on for Alien fans. ” - jwoehr
 
3.
Men in Black 3 (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.8/10 X  
Agent J travels in time to M.I.B.'s early days in 1969 to stop an alien from assassinating his friend Agent K and changing history. (106 mins.)
“ ***: Smith and Jones lack their fine chemistry from the first film, Smith and Brolin however are fun together. Brolin especially stands out and gives a brilliant Tommy Lee Jones impersonation. ” - jwoehr
 
4.
Dark Shadows (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  
An imprisoned vampire, Barnabas Collins, is set free and returns to his ancestral home, where his dysfunctional descendants are in need of his protection. (113 mins.)
Director: Tim Burton
“ ***: the Addams Family films were funner. Burton and Dell only seemed to have made this for the hell of it but it's not terrible, it just won't leave you with anything too special. ” - jwoehr
 
5.
Battleship (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
A fleet of ships is forced to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to discover and thwart their destructive goals. (131 mins.)
Director: Peter Berg
“ **1/2, based on the board game but with aliens thrown in just because screenwriters are retards these days. ” - jwoehr
 
6.
Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
In a twist to the fairy tale, the Huntsman ordered to take Snow White into the woods to be killed winds up becoming her protector and mentor in a quest to vanquish the Evil Queen. (127 mins.)
Director: Rupert Sanders
“ ***, some nice looking creatures but the plot could have used more and who is Snow White even with in the end? A Huntsman prequel is rumored, but that's pretty stupid and not too promising. ” - jwoehr
 
7.
Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.9/10 X  
Alex, Marty, Gloria and Melman are still fighting to get home to their beloved Big Apple. Their journey takes them through Europe where they find the perfect cover: a traveling circus, which they reinvent - Madagascar style. (93 mins.)
“ *** ” - jwoehr
 
8.
The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
After Peter Parker is bitten by a genetically altered spider, he gains newfound, spider-like powers and ventures out to solve the mystery of his parent's mysterious death. (136 mins.)
Director: Marc Webb
“ ****: I have high hopes that studios learn that Spider-Man and Batman films should go on much longer than 3 films. I loved this movie and appriacted little things like Flash Thompson the bully of Peter....a Spider-Man fan and Peter working with Doc Connors at his lab. This is stuff I've seen in recent Spider-Man shows. ” - jwoehr
 
9.
Ted (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
John Bennett, a man whose childhood wish of bringing his teddy bear to life came true, now must decide between keeping the relationship with the bear or his girlfriend, Lori. (106 mins.)
Director: Seth MacFarlane
“ ***1/2 : Not only very funny but very smart as well. ” - jwoehr
 
10.
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.5/10 X  
Eight years after the Joker's reign of anarchy, the Dark Knight, with the help of the enigmatic Selina, is forced from his imposed exile to save Gotham City, now on the edge of total annihilation, from the brutal guerrilla terrorist Bane. (164 mins.)
“ ****, excellent even if I still feel that 3 films just aren't enough for a Batman franchise. ” - jwoehr
 
11.
The Expendables 2 (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
Mr. Church reunites the Expendables for what should be an easy paycheck, but when one of their men is murdered on the job, their quest for revenge puts them deep in enemy territory and up against an unexpected threat. (103 mins.)
Director: Simon West
“ ***1/2: Bigger, better and more fun than the first. ” - jwoehr
 
12.
The Dictator (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
The heroic story of a dictator who risked his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed. (83 mins.)
Director: Larry Charles
“ **1/2, not as bad as Bruno but Sascha Bohen Carter still needs new material. I've liked him more in movies like Hugo and Sweeney Todd than in movies where he came up with the main character. Borat was good but bog fabulous. ” - jwoehr
 
13.
Piranha 3DD (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.8/10 X  
After the events at Lake Victoria, the pre-historic school of blood-thirsty piranhas make their way into a newly opened waterpark. (83 mins.)
Director: John Gulager
“ Half a star: It's not trying to be a good movie, just like the first film, yet it makes the first look like Jaws. It's so bad that Christopher Lloyd, Ving Rhames and David Hassaloff can't even save it. Don't stay out of the water, stay away from this movie. ” - jwoehr
 
14.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, discovers vampires are planning to take over the United States. He makes it his mission to eliminate them. (105 mins.)
“ *** An overly serious adaption of the book that could have used Tim Burton's touch behind the camera rather than him just producing it. The film could have used more campiness, still it's better than it gets credit for. ” - jwoehr
 
15.
Brave (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  
Determined to make her own path in life, Princess Merida defies a custom that brings chaos to her kingdom. Granted one wish, Merida must rely on her bravery and her archery skills to undo a beastly curse. (93 mins.)
“ ***1/2 Funny and charming but the story isn't as strong as I expected. ” - jwoehr
 
16.
Total Recall (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
A factory worker, Douglas Quaid, begins to suspect that he is a spy after visiting Rekall - a company that provides its clients with implanted fake memories of a life they would like to have led - goes wrong and he finds himself on the run. (118 mins.)
Director: Len Wiseman
“ ***: One of the most unnecessary remakes of all time proves to be quite decent due to fine effects and tons of action. Colin Farrell lacks the liviness of Arnold and dare I say, he's not as intriguing either, he's much better than I expected though. Still, if you want fascinating and mind-bendng Sci-Fi, watch the original. ” - jwoehr
 
17.
Ice Age: Continental Drift (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
Manny, Diego, and Sid embark upon another adventure after their continent is set adrift. Using an iceberg as a ship, they encounter sea creatures and battle pirates as they explore a new world. (88 mins.)
“ *** Still full of charm and funny even if this series has been over-staying it's welcome. ” - jwoehr
 
18.
The Watch (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.7/10 X  
Four men who form a neighborhood watch group as a way to get out of their day-to-day family routines find themselves defending the Earth from an alien invasion. (102 mins.)
Director: Akiva Schaffer
“ ***: Full of flaws and type-casting, yet I had a blast. I disagree with critics that said it's not funny since that's not one of it's problems. ” - jwoehr
 
19.
Savages (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
Pot growers Ben and Chon face off against the Mexican drug cartel who kidnapped their shared girlfriend. (131 mins.)
Director: Oliver Stone
“ ***: A decent enough crime thriller is almost completely ruined by a goofy ending. Benicio Del Torro made me laugh in the end but why was the end so comical when the rest was perfectly dark and violent. What was Oliver Stone thinking? ” - jwoehr
 
20.
Premium Rush (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
In Manhattan, a bike messenger picks up an envelope that attracts the interest of a dirty cop, who pursues the cyclist throughout the city. (91 mins.)
Director: David Koepp
“ ***: Feels more like a comedy than a thriller at times, I was entertained through-out neverless. ” - jwoehr
 
21.
The Campaign (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  
An incumbent congressman embroiled in personal scandal faces a no-holds-barred challenge from a naive newcomer funded by two unscrupulous billionaire lobbyist brothers. (85 mins.)
Director: Jay Roach
“ ***: Funny but not too memorable. ” - jwoehr
 
22.
The Bourne Legacy (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.7/10 X  
An expansion of the universe from Robert Ludlum's novels, centered on a new hero whose stakes have been triggered by the events of the previous three films. (135 mins.)
Director: Tony Gilroy
“ **1/2: No Bourne, No Matt Damon should = No Movie.
The film is slow with familiar Bourne aspects but without the intrigue or excitement. ” - jwoehr
 
23.
ParaNorman (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
A misunderstood boy takes on ghosts, zombies and grown-ups to save his town from a centuries-old curse. (92 mins.)
“ *** ” - jwoehr
 
24.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
School's out. Summer vacation is on. However, Greg may not have the best summer vacation ever. What could go wrong? (94 mins.)
Director: David Bowers
“ ***: Funny and harmless just like the others. ” - jwoehr
 
25.
Lawless (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.3/10 X  
Set in Depression-era Franklin County, Virginia, a trio of bootlegging brothers are threatened by a new special deputy and other authorities angling for a cut of their profits. (116 mins.)
Director: John Hillcoat
“ Coming Soon ” - jwoehr
 
26.
That's My Boy (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
While in his teens, Donny fathered a son, Todd, and raised him as a single parent up until Todd's 18th birthday. Now, after not seeing each other for years, Todd's world comes crashing down when Donny resurfaces just before Todd's wedding. (116 mins.)
Director: Sean Anders
“ *1/2: Adam Sandler as a former celebrity not because he was a child star but because he knocked up his teacher when he was really young. Just usual Sandler crap where he plays an A-Hole with an annoying voice that everybody in the movie worships and wants to be. ” - jwoehr
 
27.
Moonrise Kingdom (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.8/10 X  
A pair of young lovers flee their New England town, which causes a local search party to fan out to find them. (94 mins.)
Director: Wes Anderson
“ ***1/2 ” - jwoehr
 
28.
Hit and Run (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
Former getaway driver Charlie Bronson jeopardizes his Witness Protection Plan identity in order to help his girlfriend get to Los Angeles. The feds and Charlie's former gang chase them on the road. (100 mins.)
“ **1/2: Dax Sheppard's pet project that's funny at times but otherwise an incoherent mess that only has the good chemistry of him and his wife Kristen Bell going for it. ” - jwoehr