Horror films that should never have been made.
I have seen many a horror movie so I thought I'd make a list of the one's that made me think 'Who financed that cack?" or 'who read this script and thought it was a good idea?"
Not in any order...
Not in any order...
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- DirectorShane Van DykeStarsErin Marie HoganFia PereraNorman SaleetPrepare to see what is allegedly the "actual footage" of the supernatural events leading up to the 2008 murder of Samantha Finley. Released against the wishes of the authorities, this D.V.D. proves that nothing human caused Samantha's death.And I thought Paranormal activity was unoriginal. Hah. This was a joke. 3/10
- DirectorRobert HeathStarsTom KaneLiam BoyleJack GordonYoung British boys and girls travel to an isolated cabin after being promised a night of heavy partying. Instead of the fun they hoped for, they meet a killer out to reap vengeance on them for the death of his brother.Terrible acting and the story line was just so ridiculous and farfetched. Shocking as parts of it were and it did look really good but who wrote that script? and why? 4.5/10
- DirectorGabriel CarrerStarsRy BarrettBreanne TeBoekhorstJennifer De LuciaSiblings Brad and Lisa Carpenter, along with two lifelong family friends, Will and Vanessa, set out to cross Eastern Canada en route to an annual family reunion. Their road trip takes them through the scenic, isolated countryside of New Brunswick on a blistering hot summer day. They eventually make the decision to find an appealing place to stop halfway, and camp for the night. Thinking they have found the perfect haven, the group is awakened by strange noises in the forest. What ensues is a violent disturbance by masked assailants, without motive, without reason. The group find themselves living a nightmare of psychological games and physical terror; as morning dawns, the reality of what will come is more horrifying than anything the group could have ever imagined.Pah. Give a 15 year old a camera and £200 and I am confident that he will produce a movie that is more worthy than this poor excuse of a film. 2/10
- DirectorPhil ClaydonStarsPaul McGannJames CordenMyAnna BuringTheir women having been enslaved by the local pack of lesbian vampires thanks to an ancient curse, the remaining menfolk of a rural town send two hapless young lads out onto the moors as a sacrifice.The acting was poor and the story line was just awful, the only point of this movie was to make money by filming hot 'lesbians' get their t*ts out. 4/10
- DirectorTony SwanseyStarsAllison BattyKevin OestenstadStephen DeanWhen band members are stranded on a country road, excitement of their first tour is diminished by the horrors of a science experiment gone awry. Their pig-human hybrid mutant captors have many horrors in store but true revulsion does not descend until daylight when the extent of their work is revealed.Ha ha Man Bear Pig but without the Bear. Man Pig has a child Pig boy and they live alone on a farm and kidnap attractive people to rape and then eat. WTF? 2/10
- DirectorAdam GreenStarsKane HodderJoel David MooreDeon RichmondWhen a group of tourists in a New Orleans haunted swamp tour find themselves stranded in the wilderness, their evening of fun and spooks turns into a horrific nightmare.How this even made it to cinema is beyond me. I want my money back. A creepy disfigured 'swamp man' murders stupid teens with a Hatchet 3.5/10
- DirectorPaul GagnéStarsStephani WellsCory NelsonPaul GagnéMarty Sickle was accused of murdering a young girl inside the slaughterhouse where he lived. Soon after, four college kids brutally hung Marty in revenge.Officially the worst horror ever made. i paid £1 for this film and was offended that it wasn't less than 50p. Basically soft core porn mixed with the texas chainsaw massacre with a sickle instead of a chain saw. *beep* sh*t. 0/10
- DirectorLloyd KaufmanStarsJason YachaninKate GrahamAllyson SereboffZombified chickens attempt to kill the fast-food workers that cook them in a restaurant built on an ancient burial ground.
- DirectorSamuel BayerStarsJackie Earle HaleyRooney MaraKyle GallnerThe spectre of a disfigured man haunts the children of the parents who murdered him, stalking and killing them in their dreams.
- DirectorRob ZombieStarsScout Taylor-ComptonTyler ManeMalcolm McDowellLaurie Strode struggles to come to terms with her brother Michael's deadly return to Haddonfield, Illinois; meanwhile, Michael prepares for another reunion with his sister.
- DirectorUwe BollStarsChristian SlaterTara ReidStephen DorffA detective of the paranormal slowly unravels mysterious events with deadly results.
- DirectorMichael RoeschPeter ScheererStarsRick YuneRachel SpecterLance HenriksenWhen the night falls, and the creatures of the dark are crawling out of the shadows, there is only one man who stands between us and evil: Edward Carnby.
- DirectorRobin HardyStarsBrittania NicolHenry GarrettGraham McTavishCharmed by the residents of Tressock, Scotland, two young missionaries accept the invitation to participate in a local festival, fully unaware of the consequences of their decision.
- DirectorNeil LaButeStarsNicolas CageEllen BurstynLeelee SobieskiA sheriff investigating the disappearance of a young girl from a small island discovers there's a larger mystery to solve among the island's secretive, neo-pagan community.
- DirectorJohn PolsonStarsRobert De NiroDakota FanningFamke JanssenAs a widower tries to piece together his life in the wake of his wife's suicide, his daughter finds solace, at first, in her imaginary friend.
- DirectorJohn FawcettStarsSean BeanMaria BelloSophie StuckeyIn mourning over the tragic drowning of their daughter Sarah, James and Adèle are visited by Ebrill, a young girl who claims she died 60 years ago - and bears a startling resemblance to Sarah.
- DirectorDavid S. GoyerStarsOdette AnnableGary OldmanCam GigandetA young woman fights the spirit that is slowly taking possession of her.
- DirectorTod WilliamsStarsKatie FeatherstonMicah SloatMolly EphraimAfter experiencing what they think are a series of "break-ins", a family sets up security cameras around their home, only to realize that the events unfolding before them are more sinister than they seem.
- DirectorHenry JoostAriel SchulmanStarsChloe CsengeryJessica Tyler BrownChristopher Nicholas SmithIn 1988, young sisters Katie and Kristi befriend an invisible entity called Toby, who resides in their home.
- DirectorJay WoelfelStarsAimee BrooksDamian MaffeiJoe UngerTrapped in a forgotten amusement park, a young woman (Kristy) finds herself terrorized by the living memories of the park. She must break free from the park's grasp before she becomes its next victim.
- DirectorJonathan LiebesmanStarsChaney KleyEmma Caulfield FordAntony BurrowsA vengeful spirit has taken the form of the Tooth Fairy to exact vengeance on the town that lynched her 150 years earlier. Her only opposition is the only child, now grown up, who has survived her before.
- DirectorTom SixStarsLaurence R. HarveyAshlynn YennieMaddi BlackInspired by the fictional Dr. Heiter, disturbed loner Martin dreams of creating a 12-person centipede and sets out to realize his sick fantasy.
- DirectorP.J. PesceStarsMarco LeonardiMichael ParksAra CeliSet 100 years ago in Mexico, this horror/western is the story of the birth of the vampire princess Santanico Pandemonium.
- DirectorBrian Trenchard-SmithStarsWarwick DavisJohn GatinsLee ArmstrongAn evil leprechaun finds himself in Las Vegas, where he proceeds to cause mischief by killing people, granting twisted wishes, and infecting a young man with his green blood.
- DirectorKim ChapironStarsVincent CasselOlivier BarthélémyRoxane MesquidaA group of youngsters go out to a disco on Christmas Eve and accidentally run into a shepherd who has prepared himself for a night of pure insanity.