Sh*t

Movies that are not worth the time for me and/or movies I never plan on seeing; ever.
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1.
Hatchet (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.7/10 X  
When a group of tourists on a New Orleans haunted swamp tour find themselves stranded in the wilderness, their evening of fun and spooks turns into a horrific nightmare. (85 mins.)
Director: Adam Green
“ I really wish they stopped trying to call this movie "iconic". It's a rehash of every other horror movie with nothing new or original to contribute except for unparalleled brutality and gore. Why the hell would I want to watch that? ” - danhollow
 
2.
The Room (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.5/10 X  
Johnny is a successful banker who lives happily in a San Francisco townhouse with his fiancée, Lisa. One day, inexplicably, she gets bored of him and decides to seduce Johnny's best friend, Mark. From there, nothing will be the same again. (99 mins.)
Director: Tommy Wiseau
“ People say that this movie is so bad it's funny. I say it's so bad it's depressing. I will never see this movie. I refuse to contribute to Tommy Wiseau's sh*t visions. Every dollar he gets puts him closer to making another movie. Do good taste a favor, stop giving Tommy Wiseau your money. ” - danhollow
 
3.
House of Wax (2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.3/10 X  
A group of unwitting teens are stranded near a strange wax museum and soon must fight to survive and keep from becoming the next exhibit. (108 mins.)
“ No, I don't want to see a crappy remake of a horror movie with Paris Hilton. I don't want to see a movie with Paris Hilton. ” - danhollow
 
4.
Hostel (2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
Three backpackers head to a Slovak city that promises to meet their hedonistic expectations, with no idea of the hell that awaits them. (94 mins.)
Director: Eli Roth
“ How sick in the head do you have to be to enjoy this? With Saw there was some actual poetic justice to the traps; this is just torturing people for pleasure and entertainment. ” - danhollow
 
5.
House of the Dead (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.0/10 X  
A group of college students travel to a mysterious island to attend a rave, and end up getting trapped there because it's been taken over by bloodthirsty zombies. (90 mins.)
Director: Uwe Boll
“ I'm already not a big fan of zombie movies. I'm not a big fan of seeing movies that people tell me are "so bad they're funny". Bad is bad in my eyes. Willingly subjecting myself to it is self-destructive and masochistic. ” - danhollow
 
6.
Planet Terror (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  
After an experimental bio-weapon is released, turning thousands into zombie-like creatures, it's up to a rag-tag group of survivors to stop the infected and those behind its release. (105 mins.)
“ This is the one movie I DO NOT consider sh*t. However, I don't plan on ever watching it again. Granted I absolutely loved the editing for it, and I understand that it's a Grindhouse flick; but it was just too over-the-top gory for me. It was too much. No thanks. ” - danhollow
 
7.
All Monsters Attack (1969)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.9/10 X  
A bullied schoolboy dreams of traveling to Monster Island, where he befriends Godzilla's son, who is also having bully troubles. (69 mins.)
Director: Ishirô Honda
“ Seriously; they screwed up a movie called "Godzilla's Revenge". Never again will I subject myself to it. ” - danhollow
 
8.
Gigli (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.4/10 X  
The violent story about how a criminal lesbian, a tough-guy hit-man with a heart of gold, and a mentally challenged man came to be best friends through a hostage. (121 mins.)
Director: Martin Brest
“ I have no interest in watching movies just to see how bad they are. I have no interest in seeing bad romance movies. I don't care what anyone says. ” - danhollow
 
9.
Wrong Turn (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
Six people find themselves trapped in the woods of West Virginia, hunted down by "cannibalistic mountain men grossly disfigured through generations of in-breeding." (84 mins.)
Director: Rob Schmidt
“ Why do people subject themselves to movies like this? Why? ” - danhollow
 
10.
Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.7/10 X  
Warring alien and predator races descend on a small town, where unsuspecting residents must band together for any chance of survival. (94 mins.)
“ It looks like sh*t, it sounds like sh*t, it acts like sh*t, it's lit like sh*t. Seriously; this is the bottom of both the Alien and Predator franchises. ” - danhollow
 
11.
Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.9/10 X  
A group of smart-talking toddlers find themselves at the center of a media mogul's experiment to crack the code to baby talk. The toddlers must race against time for the sake of babies everywhere. (88 mins.)
Director: Bob Clark
“ Please kill me now. ” - danhollow
 
12.
Teeth (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  
Still a stranger to her own body, a high school student discovers she has a physical advantage when she becomes the object of male violence. (94 mins.)
“ No. Absolutely no. ” - danhollow
 
13.
Meet the Spartans (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.7/10 X  
The heroic Spartan king Leonidas, armed with nothing but leather underwear and a cape, leads a ragtag... (86 mins.)
“ Throw this movie into the pit. ” - danhollow
 
14.
Disaster Movie (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.9/10 X  
Over the course of one evening, an unsuspecting group of twenty-somethings find themselves bombarded by a series of natural disasters and catastrophic events. (87 mins.)
“ Please destroy this movie. ” - danhollow
 
15.
Vampires Suck (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.5/10 X  
A spoof of vampire-themed movies, where teenager Becca finds herself torn between two boys. As she and her friends wrestle with a number of different dramas, everything comes to a head at their prom. (82 mins.)
“ This movie sucks more. ” - danhollow
 
16.
Skyline (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.4/10 X  
Strange lights descend on the city of Los Angeles, drawing people outside like moths to a flame where an extraterrestrial force threatens to swallow the entire human population off the face of the Earth. (97 mins.)
“ How is it these guys get funding when directors like Edgar Wright can barely cover the budget? ” - danhollow
 
17.
Kazaam (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.8/10 X  
Being a lone young boy in the 'hood" is dangerous and unpleasant. This is what Max experiences when... (93 mins.)
Director: Paul M. Glaser
“ Not fun! Lame. ” - danhollow
 
18.
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.7/10 X  
Dodger must confront the struggles of life as he is visited by the Garbage Pail Kids and intimidated by some older bullies. (100 mins.)
Director: Rod Amateau
“ Every person with a copy of this movie should be charged for littering. ” - danhollow
 
19.
Junior (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.5/10 X  
As part of a fertility research project, a male scientist agrees to carry a pregnancy in his own body. (109 mins.)
Director: Ivan Reitman
“ Please don't.....just don't. I don't care that some people found it to be really funny; I don't want to see it. Ever. ” - danhollow
 
20.
Littleman (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.3/10 X  
A wannabe dad mistakes a vertically challenged criminal on the lam as his newly adopted son. (98 mins.)
“ Why? ” - danhollow
 
21.
Miss March (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.0/10 X  
A young man awakens from a four-year coma to hear that his once virginal high-school sweetheart has... (90 mins.)
“ I love the Whitest Kids U' Know, but seriously, this sucked. They can do so much better and so much funnier. ” - danhollow
 
22.
I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.3/10 X  
A nerdy valedictorian proclaims his love for the hottest and most popular girl in school - Beth Cooper - during his graduation speech. Much to his surprise, Beth shows up at his door that very night and decides to show him the best night of his life. (102 mins.)
Director: Chris Columbus
“ Comedy means people are supposed to laugh at it. This was an exercise in psychological torture. ” - danhollow
 
23.
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.4/10 X  
A mad scientist kidnaps and mutilates a trio of tourists in order to reassemble them into a human centipede, created by stitching their mouths to each others' rectums. (92 mins.)
Director: Tom Six
“ Congratulations, you have officially created the most horrible experiment that can ever be done to a human being. Why would we want to watch it? ” - danhollow
 
24.
The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.9/10 X  
Inspired by the fictional Dr. Heiter, disturbed loner Martin dreams of creating a 12-person centipede and sets out to realize his sick fantasy. (91 mins.)
Director: Tom Six
“ Disgusting; just absolutely disgusting. An insult to everything even remotely enjoyable. ” - danhollow
 
25.
Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.1/10 X  
Three years after he last terrorized his sister, Michael Myers confronts her again, before traveling to Haddonfield to deal with the cast and crew of a reality show which is being broadcast from his old home. (94 mins.)
Director: Rick Rosenthal
“ Stupidest cop-out I've ever seen in a horror movie, not even remotely believable. Story has nothing to do with Laurie after the first 20 minutes, there's no Jamie, no Jamie's kid, no relation whatsoever to Laurie, no purpose other than to cash-in, no redeemable qualities. As far as I'm concerned, Halloween ended with H20 (or Halloween 6, depending on what timeline you follow). ” - danhollow
 
26.
Snow Buddies (2008 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  
In this spin-off of the Air Bud franchise, five pups follow an ice cream transport truck to a plane and end up flying with the ice cream shipment to Alaska. There they find a pup friend and a boy who needs five dogs for a big race. (87 mins.)
Director: Robert Vince
“ This applies to all the "Buddies" movies. They're insulting to 5 year olds, and just hearing the trailers makes me want to bang my head on the table. ” - danhollow