Movies that failed to live up to my expectations.
An all guts, no glory San Francisco cop becomes determined to find the underworld kingpin that killed the witness in his protection. (114 mins.)
“ Some say the many parts of the movie in which nothing happens are supposed to make you think, and they're right. It makes you think and wonder how a thriller can be so boring. The editor obviously had no idea what he was doing, as every action is dragged out for an eternity as the plot stagnates. The "character development" is a joke, while the only sequence worth watching is the car chase which can easily be viewed online without enduring the entire movie. ” - sudorum
A New York City architect becomes a one-man vigilante squad after his wife is murdered by street punks in which he randomly goes out and kills would-be muggers on the mean streets after dark. (93 mins.)
“ I truly have no idea why this movie is so popular. The rape scene isn't traumatic; it's feeble, contrived, and convenient, like the rest of the plot. Somehow Bronson becomes a target for every mugger in the city after his family is harmed. Furthermore, Bronson can hardly be considered a vigilante at all, since he's attacked first every single time and shoots the near-brainless thugs in self-defense. If anyone is a vigilante, it's the policeman who breaks into Bronson's house without a warrant and uses illegal evidence against him. ” - sudorum
“ With actors like Hoffman and Redford and an adaptation of a true story about a corrupt president, greatness was expected. Instead, there were loose ends and a sudden, anticlimactic ending that merely summarized the rest of the story just as it appeared it would take off. ” - sudorum
The Tree of Life
The story of a family in Waco, Texas in 1956. The eldest son witnesses the loss of innocence and struggles with his parents' conflicting teachings. (139 mins.)
“ Terrence Malick simply out did himself on this one. After a masterpiece like The Thin Red Line, more of the same talent was expected. But Malick felt it was necessary to juxtapose what appeared to be images from some national geographic documentaries with an interesting story about boyhood in Texas. The images of nature did not seem to contribute to the plot or mood and instead served to be distracting, especially since the technology used to generate the dinosaurs appeared to pre-date the CG images in Jurassic Park. The fact that there are scenes of Sean Penn aimlessly roaming in a desert and walking in some sort of netherworld didn't help either. ” - sudorum
The Killing of a Chinese Bookie
A proud strip club owner is forced to come to terms with himself as a man, when his gambling addiction gets him in hot water with the mob, who offer him only one alternative. (135 mins.)
“ One of the most boring, incomprehensible films I've had the displeasure to watch. The characters were not interesting and even if they had been, I wouldn't have known since every one of them mumbled throughout what little scenes of dialogue there were. ” - sudorum
Set in Japan in the 16th century (or so), an elderly warlord retires, handing over his empire to his three sons. However, he vastly underestimates how the new-found power will corrupt them, or cause them to turn on each other...and him... (162 mins.)
“ This epic is often hailed as Akira Kurosawa's best. I can't say I agree. One problematic factor is the inclusion of a silly and laughable transvestite jester that becomes something like a preaching philosopher in the middle of the film. Another factor is the length of the movie. I've sat through longer movies in one night, but this is the only one during which I've been angry that it wasn't over sooner. The plot and battle scenes were just a bit too plodding. ” - sudorum
Kill Bill: Vol. 1
The Bride wakens from a four-year coma. The child she carried in her womb is gone. Now she must wreak vengeance on the team of assassins who betrayed her - a team she was once part of. (111 mins.)
“ The imagination of Tarantino was let loose like a ferocious beast in this film. Unfortunately, that meant superfluous blood and endless, mindless action that mimicked a crappy video game. The anime flashback also proved annoying, but Vol. 2 redeemed some of the sins from the first. ” - sudorum
A strange black entity from another world bonds with Peter Parker and causes inner turmoil as he contends with new villains, temptations, and revenge. (139 mins.)
“ I suppose Sam Raimi just didn't care about making a third competent Spiderman movie since he allowed the wimpy, absolutely unconvincing Topher Grace to play one of Spiderman's most maniacal villains. Throw in a dimwitted Sandman along with an infuriatingly pointless twist concerning the death of Uncle Ben and you've got a fail film. ” - sudorum
X-Men: The Last Stand
When a cure is found to treat mutations, lines are drawn amongst the X-Men, led by Professor Charles Xavier, and the Brotherhood, a band of powerful mutants organized under Xavier's former ally, Magneto. (104 mins.)
“ After half the characters pointlessly die in the beginning, and Wolverine takes over what should be Cyclops's role by killing Jean Grey, we're somehow expected to care that the Angel frees himself and learns how to fly. ” - sudorum
Rookie cop Denny Colt returns from the beyond as The Spirit, a hero whose mission is to fight against the bad forces in Central City. (103 mins.)
“ The commercials looked interesting, so I saw the movie and realized that Frank Miller is as much a movie director as Martin Scorsese is a comic book writer. To date, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. ” - sudorum
The Amazing Spider-Man
After Peter Parker is bitten by a genetically altered spider, he gains newfound, spider-like powers and ventures out to solve the mystery of his parent's mysterious death. (136 mins.)
“ 1: In the comics and in the the first Spidey film, Parker was a nerdy dweeb. In this movie Parker is some sort of mysterious loner-skateboarder kid.
2: How the heck does Spiderman magically appear in the car being "hijacked?" Did he break into the car first? Did he teleport inside? What happened?
3: In the comics, Capt. Stacy dies while successfully saving a young boy from falling debris. In the film, he dies trying to be a gung-ho Dirty Harry wannabe while trying to kill a giant lizard.
4: Spiderman reveals his secret identity to Gwen Stacy without hesitation. What's the use of a secret identity if Spiderman gives it out to anyone he likes?
5: The final fail. Spidey never catches Uncle Ben's killer in the movie. Wow. Some hero. ” - sudorum