Games & Films reviewed by TheSpoonyOne

by SpeedyEric | created - 14 Jun 2011 | updated - 11 months ago | Public

I met you on a Thursday. Friday, took you home. Well Saturday, I'm begging you, baby, Just leave me alone. You're turning me upside down. Pull me to the ground when you shake me, shake me. I'm giving you what you need, and I'm begging, please, don't break me, break me love.

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1. Mad City (1988 Video Game)

E10+ | Action

7.2
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  

Add a Plot

Votes: 11

Aka "The Adventures of Bayou Billy."

2. Abarenbô tengu (1990 Video Game)

Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 -/10 X  

Add a Plot

Director: Norio Nakadata

Aka "Samurai Zombie Nation."

3. E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982 Video Game)

Unrated | Family, Sci-Fi

2.0
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2/10 X  

Help E.T. get home.

Votes: 194

4. The Thing (2002 Video Game)

Action, Horror, Mystery

8.1
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.1/10 X  

You play the part of a military team sent to investigate what happened at U.S. Outpost 31, and must face the Thing yourself.

Stars: Per Solli, Michael J. Shea, Kevin Alan Moore, Jesse O'Connell

Votes: 456

5. Fainaru fantajî VIII (1999 Video Game)

T | Adventure, Fantasy, Romance

8.8
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.8/10 X  

A group of mercenaries rescue a mysterious girl, who some say is the sorceress who wants to govern the universe.

Director: Yoshinori Kitase

Votes: 4,176

For an 11-part review.

6. The X Files: Resist or Serve (2004 Video Game)

M | Action, Adventure, Horror

8.6
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.6/10 X  

Survival horror game set during season 7 of The X-Files (1993). Scully and Mulder travel to Red Falls, Colorado to look for two missing teenage girls accused of witchcraft only to find the place infested with black oil zombies.

Stars: David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Mitch Pileggi, Tom Braidwood

Votes: 499

7. Johnny Mnemonic: The Interactive Action Movie (1995 Video Game)

Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

6.5
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  

In a cyberpunk future mnemonics are couriers hired to carry sensitive data uploaded in their cybernaticaly enhanced brains. Johnny's latest job is going to get him killed fast unless he extracts the data asap. But he needs a code to do it.

Director: Douglas Gayeton | Stars: Chris Gartin, Clare Carey, Bruce Glover, Lara Harris

Votes: 24

8. Sewer Shark (1992 Video Game)

Action, Sci-Fi

7.1
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.1/10 X  

In the future, much of humanity has been forced to live underground. The player takes the role of a pilot who flies through sewers beneath the paradise Solar City and exterminates creatures at the order of evil Commissioner Stenchler.

Director: John Dykstra | Stars: David Underwood, Robert Costanzo, Kari G. Peyton, Stevie Sterling

Votes: 79

"And what's my payback?! ...A million pounds of tube steak!"

9. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (1994 Video Game)

Action, Family

7.2
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  

Play as the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers as you save the planet from evil.

Stars: Ryan R. Johnson, Liz Logan, Richard Perez, Thuy Trang

Votes: 108

The Sega CD version.

10. Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch: Make My Video (1992 Video Game)

Music

3.3
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.3/10 X  

A kid and his sister, friends, neighbors and parents can't agree on what the perfect Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch music video should look like. Edit videos they'd like for "Good Vibrations", "I Need Money" and "You Gotta Believe".

Director: Ken Berris | Stars: Michael Bacall, Stephanie Furst, Michael Durrette, Floyd Levine

Votes: 24

11. INXS: Make My Video (1992 Video Game)

Music

1.5
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.5/10 X  

Two hot pushy girl pool players have clashed with the patrons of a rock bar on the band INXS. If you make a video they like for one of INXS songs "Heaven Sent", "Not Enough Time" and "Baby Don't Cry", the table and the girls are yours.

Director: Ken Berris | Stars: Jamie Johnson, Allison Barron, Scott Menville, Jason Majik

Votes: 6

12. Kris Kross: Make My Video (1992 Video Game)

Music

3.5
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.5/10 X  

A motormouth radio DJ has given you the task to edit videos for three Kris Kross songs - "Jump", "Warm It Up", and "I Missed The Bus". The callers tell you what they want to see in the video and then the DJ rates your work.

Director: Chris Painter | Stars: Richard McGregor, Marianne Lewis, Michael Cervin, Mona Marshall

Votes: 10

13. Power Factory Featuring C+C Music Factory (1992 Video Game)

G | Music

Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 -/10 X  

The corporate tyrant of the Music Factory has given you the task to edit videos for three C+C Music Factory songs - "Gonna Make You Sweat", "Things That Make You Go Hmm..." and "Here We Go Let's Rock and Roll."

Director: Chris Painter | Stars: Lamont Johnson, Phil LaMarr, Patricia Clipper, Adam Dubov

Aka "C+C Music Factory: Make My Video"

14. Yor, the Hunter from the Future (1983)

PG | 88 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

4.2
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.2/10 X  

A warrior seeks his true origins in a seemingly prehistoric wasteland.

Director: Antonio Margheriti | Stars: Reb Brown, Corinne Cléry, John Steiner, Carole André

Votes: 2,142 | Gross: $2.81M

"We're will need a lot more hemp before we're through."

15. Knightmare (1987–1994)

25 min | Adventure, Family, Fantasy

8.4
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  

Dungeons and Dragons-style show that lets contestants explore a computer-generated fantasy world, with wicked special effects and cunning puzzles.

Stars: Hugo Myatt, David Learner, John Woodnutt, Paul Valentine

Votes: 572

"Oooooooooooh, nasty."

16. Demolition Man (1994 Video Game)

T | Action, Crime, Sci-Fi

7.8
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.8/10 X  

Video game adaptation of the movie Demolition Man (1993). The game features FMV clips, shooting galleries, 2D fighting sections and a driving section. Help 90s tough cop John Spartan stop his archenemy in utopian future.

Directors: Keith Arem, Becky Allen, Juan M. Alvarado, Robb Hart | Stars: Wesley Snipes, Mark De Alessandro, Jeff Ward, Jesse Ventura

Votes: 100

17. Hell's Kitchen: The Video Game (2008 Video Game)

6.1
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  

Players are challenged to prepare, cook and serve a meal under the authority of Gordon Ramsay.

Star: Gordon Ramsay

Votes: 11

18. Star Trek: Borg (1996 Video Game)

Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

7.3
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.3/10 X  

The player is a Starfleet cadet whose father was killed during the Battle of Wolf 359 fought against the Borg 10 years ago. Impish Q shows up and offers him to go back in time to his father's ship during the battle and try to save him.

Director: James L. Conway | Stars: John de Lancie, Barry Lynch, John Cothran, Marnie McPhail

Votes: 148

19. Dirty Harry (1990 Video Game)

Not Rated | Action, Crime, Thriller

7.2
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  

Add a Plot

Votes: 17

20. Street Fighter 2010 (1990 Video Game)

Action, Sci-Fi

5.8
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  

Ken had no interest in the frontier. Then his partner Troy was killed. Someone broke into their lab, stole their invention, and left Troy as a pile of jelly on the floor. It's been 25 years... See full summary »

Votes: 22

21. Shen wei san meng long (1980)

R | 91 min | Action, Drama

3.9
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.9/10 X  

Bruce Lee has just died, but the BSI is swinging into action to salvage the situation. Aided by the brilliant Professor Lucas, cells from the martial arts master's body are removed and ... See full summary »

Director: Joseph Kong | Stars: Dragon Lee, Irina Shevchenko, Bruce Le, Yi Tao Chang

Votes: 231

For a 2-part review.

22. Alone in the Dark (2005)

R | 96 min | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi

2.3
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.3/10 X  
9 Metascore

Based on the video game, Alone in the Dark focuses on Edward Carnby, a detective of the paranormal, who slowly unravels mysterious events with deadly results.

Director: Uwe Boll | Stars: Christian Slater, Tara Reid, Stephen Dorff, Frank C. Turner

Votes: 39,082 | Gross: $5.18M

With The Nostalgia Critic and Linkara.

23. Robowar - Robot da guerra (1988)

92 min | Action, Adventure, Comedy

4.2
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.2/10 X  

A clone/mix of PREDATOR and ROBOCOP gone nuts jungle flick with an international cast, exotic locale and good electronic music.

Director: Bruno Mattei | Stars: Reb Brown, Catherine Hickland, Massimo Vanni, Romano Puppo

Votes: 474

"BAM- Big Ass Mother(beep)ers."

24. Spider-Man vs. the Kingpin (1991 Video Game)

Unrated | Action, Sci-Fi

7.6
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.6/10 X  

You control Spider-Man as you race against time tracking down an nuclear bomb set by the Kingpin.

Votes: 48

With Linkara

25. Captain America and the Avengers (1991 Video Game)

Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

7.7
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.7/10 X  

Add a Plot

Votes: 85

With Linkara

26. Bloodwings: Pumpkinhead's Revenge (1995 Video Game)

Action, Adventure, Horror

5.1
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.1/10 X  

The tormented spirit of Pumpkinhead has once again been let loose to seek vengence among the living. As one of the Keepers of Spirits it falls to you to end his reign of terror, if you can.... See full summary »

Directors: Britton Jackson, Jed Weintrob | Stars: Ami Dolenz, Andrew Robinson, Soleil Moon Frye, Steve Kanaly

Votes: 55

"Tragedy, ain't it?"

27. Strike Commando (1987)

R | 104 min | Action, War, Adventure

5.2
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  

While operating behind enemy lines, Sergeant Mike Ransom learns of a Russian presence in North Vietnam. Ordered to obtain proof of this discovery, Ransom returns to enemy territory but is ... See full summary »

Director: Bruno Mattei | Stars: Reb Brown, Christopher Connelly, Louise Kamsteeg, Luciano Pigozzi

Votes: 532

"JAKODA!!!"

28. Space Thunder Kids (1991 Video)

82 min | Animation, Action, Family

2.3
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.3/10 X  

Three children pilots fight against the Dark Empire on their mission to destroy the universe.

Director: Elton Reins

Votes: 67

With Bennett the Sage.

29. Santa with Muscles (1996)

PG | 97 min | Comedy

2.4
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.4/10 X  

An evil millionaire believes he is Santa Claus after an accident renders him amnesiac.

Director: John Murlowski | Stars: Hulk Hogan, Don Stark, Robin Curtis, Garrett Morris

Votes: 8,117 | Gross: $0.22M

For Christmas 2009.

30. Captain America (1979 TV Movie)

TV-PG | 97 min | Action, Sci-Fi

3.8
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.8/10 X  

A recipient of an experimental body enhancement chemical retaliates against his would be killers as a star spangled superhero.

Director: Rod Holcomb | Stars: Reb Brown, Len Birman, Heather Menzies-Urich, Robin Mattson

Votes: 1,134

"But why? Brackett is no mad-dog killer; he is after something."

31. Captain America II: Death Too Soon (1979 TV Movie)

TV-PG | 83 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

4.0
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4/10 X  

The star spangled hero must battle a villain's plan to poison America with a chemical that horrifically accelerates the aging process.

Director: Ivan Nagy | Stars: Reb Brown, Connie Sellecca, Len Birman, Christopher Lee

Votes: 803

32. Fainaru fantajî X (2001 Video Game)

T | Adventure, Fantasy, Romance

9.2
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.2/10 X  

A celebrated young athlete is drawn from his futuristic hometown and convenient lifestyle to a harsh and techno-phobic land by a mysterious force only known as Sin.

Director: Yoshinori Kitase | Stars: James Arnold Taylor, Hedy Burress, John DiMaggio, Paula Tiso

Votes: 5,473

For a 4-part review.

33. Privateer 2: The Darkening (1996 Video Game)

Action, Adventure, Mystery

8.4
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  

Ser Lev Arris wakes up in a hospital on the planet Crius and has no idea who he is and where he is coming from. He is told by a doctor that he had been frozen 10 or more years ago because ... See full summary »

Directors: Steve Hilliker, Erin Roberts | Stars: John Rowe, Clive Owen, John Hurt, Jürgen Prochnow

Votes: 239

34. Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

PG-13 | 103 min | Comedy

7.8
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.8/10 X  
61 Metascore

A high school wise guy is determined to have a day off from school, despite what the Principal thinks of that.

Director: John Hughes | Stars: Matthew Broderick, Alan Ruck, Mia Sara, Jeffrey Jones

Votes: 267,670 | Gross: $70.14M

Reviewed by Doctor Insano, for April Fools Day 2010.

35. Wing Commander (1999)

PG-13 | 100 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

4.2
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.2/10 X  
21 Metascore

Blair, a fighter pilot, joins an interstellar war to fight the evil Kilrathi who are trying to destroy the universe.

Director: Chris Roberts | Stars: Freddie Prinze Jr., Matthew Lillard, Saffron Burrows, Tchéky Karyo

Votes: 15,193 | Gross: $11.58M

The scream is in the #10 spot of the Top 11 Spoony Moments of 2011 list.

36. Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)

R | 91 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

4.1
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.1/10 X  

In the future, Highlander Connor MacLeod must prevent the destruction of Earth under an anti-ozone shield.

Director: Russell Mulcahy | Stars: Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery, Virginia Madsen, Michael Ironside

Votes: 38,871 | Gross: $15.56M

For a 2-part review.

37. Akalabeth (1979 Video Game)

Adventure, Fantasy

7.7
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.7/10 X  

As the champion of Lord British, it is your duty to destroy the many foul creatures infesting the unground of Akalabeth.

Director: Richard Garriott

Votes: 22

38. Ultima (1980 Video Game)

Action, Adventure, Fantasy

8.6
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.6/10 X  

Your job is to complete several quests and gather special stones to defeat the evil wizard, Mondain.

Votes: 39

39. Ultima II: Revenge of the Enchantress (1982 Video Game)

Action, Adventure, Fantasy

7.1
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.1/10 X  

Sowing the seeds of evil in every man's soul.

Votes: 19

40. Exodus: Ultima III (1983 Video Game)

Adventure, Fantasy, Sci-Fi

8.3
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.3/10 X  

20 years after the defeat of Minax, a volcanic isle has appeared in the southern seas. Evil seems to iminate from this place. You and 3 others have been called forth to go answer the mystery and riddle of the isle, Exodus.

Votes: 34

41. Mazes and Monsters (1982 TV Movie)

PG | 100 min | Drama, Fantasy

4.2
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.2/10 X  

Bound together by a desire to play "Mazes and Monsters," Robbie and his three college classmates decide to move the board game into the local legendary cavern.

Director: Steven Hilliard Stern | Stars: Tom Hanks, Wendy Crewson, David Wysocki, Chris Makepeace

Votes: 2,653

"Mazes and Monsters is a far out game."

42. Ultima IV: Quest of the Avatar (1985 Video Game)

Fantasy

8.4
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  

Can you become an Avatar?

Votes: 54

43. Ultima V: Warriors of Destiny (1988 Video Game)

Adventure, Fantasy

8.4
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  

Add a Plot

Director: Richard Garriott

Votes: 38

44. Highlander: The Last of the MacLeods (1995 Video Game)

Action, Adventure, Fantasy

5.9
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  

Action adventure game for Atari Jaguar CD based on the first episode of the animated TV series and done in the same vein as the first Alone in the Dark games. Quentin MacLeod must fight soldiers to free his people from slavers' prison.

Director: Stephen A. Mitchell | Stars: Harvey Atkin, Lawrence Bayne, Benedict Campbell, Don Dickinson

Votes: 11

The bad camera is in the #11 spot of the Top 11 Spoony Moments of 2011 list.

45. Howling II: ... Your Sister Is a Werewolf (1985)

R | 91 min | Horror, Thriller

3.4
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.4/10 X  

A young man whose sister was murdered by werewolves helps an investigator track down a gang of the monsters through the United States and Europe.

Director: Philippe Mora | Stars: Christopher Lee, Annie McEnroe, Reb Brown, Marsha A. Hunt

Votes: 5,092

Aka "Howling 2: Stirba Werewolf Bitch." For Halloween 2010.

"Oh, come on."

46. Highlander: Endgame (2000)

R | 87 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

4.6
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.6/10 X  
21 Metascore

Immortals Connor and Duncan MacLeod must join forces against Kell, an evil immortal who has become too strong for anyone to face alone.

Director: Douglas Aarniokoski | Stars: Christopher Lambert, Adrian Paul, Bruce Payne, Lisa Barbuscia

Votes: 17,355 | Gross: $12.80M

With Pat the NES Punk.

47. Ultima VI: The False Prophet (1990 Video Game)

Adventure, Fantasy

8.2
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.2/10 X  

Add a Plot

Director: Richard Garriott | Stars: Martin Galway, Richard Garriott, Robert Garriott, Warren Spector

Votes: 39

48. Highlander: The Source (2007 TV Movie)

R | 86 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

3.1
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.1/10 X  

Duncan MacLeod and his fellow Immortals quest to locate the Grail of their world.

Director: Brett Leonard | Stars: Adrian Paul, Thekla Reuten, Cristian Solimeno, Peter Wingfield

Votes: 8,222

49. Garzey's Wing (1996 Video)

30 min | Animation, Fantasy, Sci-Fi

3.6
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.6/10 X  

A young teen gets sent to an ancient land where he has to fight for his life.

Director: Yoshiyuki Tomino | Stars: Tetsuya Iwanaga, Maya Okamoto, Tesshô Genda, Tomomichi Nishimura

Votes: 97

With Bennett the Sage.

50. The Dungeonmaster (1984)

PG-13 | 73 min | Fantasy, Horror, Sci-Fi

4.1
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.1/10 X  

A demonic wizard challenges a modern-day computer programmer to a battle of technology vs. sorcery, with the programmer's girlfriend as the prize.

Directors: David Allen, Charles Band, John Carl Buechler, Steven Ford, Peter Manoogian, Ted Nicolaou, Rosemarie Turko | Stars: Jeffrey Byron, Richard Moll, Leslie Wing, Gina Calabrese

Votes: 1,425

Aka "The Dungeonmaster." Reviewed by Doctor Insano.

51. Ultima VII: The Black Gate (1992 Video Game)

Adventure, Fantasy

9.0
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9/10 X  

The Avatar is called back to Britannia and is asked to solve a murder. While doing so, the plans of an evil force unfold.

Director: Richard Garriott | Star: Bill Johnson

Votes: 91

For a 2-part review.

I'm the goddamn avatar.

52. Cage (1989)

R | 100 min | Action, Drama

4.9
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.9/10 X  

A GI in Vietnam saves his buddy's life, but in the process is shot in the head. The injury results in brain damage to the point where he basically has a child's brain in a (very large) ... See full summary »

Director: Lang Elliott | Stars: Lou Ferrigno, Reb Brown, Michael Dante, Mike Moroff

Votes: 491 | Gross: $0.62M

For Rebruary 2011.

"I like wrestling."

The gang member laughing is in the #6 spot of the Top 11 Spoony Moments of 2011 list.

53. Cage II (1994)

R | 106 min | Action, Drama

4.3
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.3/10 X  

After surviving Vietnam and the illegal fighting circuit, one man finds himself facing a whole new set of challenges in this action-drama. Billy Thomas (Lou Ferrigno) is a kind soul who ... See full summary »

Director: Lang Elliott | Stars: Candra Adams, Lou Ferrigno, Richard Ardi, Reb Brown

Votes: 256

For Rebruary 2011

54. Mercenary Fighters (1988)

R | 90 min | Action, Adventure, Drama

4.3
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.3/10 X  

The president of an African country wants to boost his economy with a new dam. He ignores the protests of the tribes in the flooded region, so they declare rebellion. To avoid bad publicity... See full summary »

Director: Riki Shelach Nissimoff | Stars: Peter Fonda, Reb Brown, Ron O'Neal, James Mitchum

Votes: 111

For Rebruary 2011.

"We can't. The press."

The Manliest Moment Ever is in the #7 spot of the Top 11 Spoony Moments of 2011 list.

55. Ultima Underworld: The Stygian Abyss (1992 Video Game)

Action, Adventure, Fantasy

8.6
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.6/10 X  

Add a Plot

Stars: Richard Garriott, Mary Margaret Ipser Walker, Martin Galway, Gilbert P. Austin

Votes: 19

56. Ultima Underworld II: Labyrinth of Worlds (1993 Video Game)

Adventure, Fantasy

8.7
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.7/10 X  

In an attempt to conquer the world, The Guardian encases Castle Britannia and its occupants--including the Avatar--in a giant blackrock gem.

Star: Bill Johnson

Votes: 49

57. Revenge in the House of Usher (1983)

Not Rated | 93 min | Horror

3.2
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.2/10 X  

A young doctor visits the secluded home of his ailing mentor - Eric Usher - who believes the house itself is alive and plotting to drive him insane, manifesting itself through ghostly apparitions.

Director: Jesús Franco | Stars: Howard Vernon, Antonio Mayans, Lina Romay, Fata Morgana

Votes: 341

Aka "Zombie 5." Reviewed in the style of The Cinema Snob, for April Fools Day 2011.

"The Big Tits Dragon" is in the #4 spot of the Top 11 Spoony Moments of 2011 list.

58. The Beastmaster (1982)

PG | 118 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

6.2
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  
18 Metascore

A sword-and-sorcery fantasy about a young man's search for revenge. Armed with supernatural powers, the handsome hero and his animal allies wage war against marauding forces.

Director: Don Coscarelli | Stars: Marc Singer, Tanya Roberts, Rip Torn, John Amos

Votes: 16,837 | Gross: $14.06M

59. Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991)

PG-13 | 107 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

3.8
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.8/10 X  

Dar is a warrior who can talk to the beasts. He is forced to travel to Earth to stop his evil brother from stealing an atomic bomb and turning their native land from a desert into, well - a desert.

Director: Sylvio Tabet | Stars: Marc Singer, Kari Wuhrer, Sarah Douglas, Wings Hauser

Votes: 2,490 | Gross: $0.87M

Doctor Insano's Gaydar is in the #9 spot of the Top 11 Spoony Moments of 2011 list.

60. The Lords of Magick (1989)

PG-13 | 98 min | Fantasy, Comedy

3.7
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.7/10 X  

A pair of sorcerer brothers from 10th-century England show up in modern-day California and wreak havoc.

Director: David Marsh | Stars: Jarrett Parker, Mark Gauthier, Brendan Dillon Jr., David Snow

Votes: 75

61. Ultima VII Part Two: Serpent Isle (1993 Video Game)

Adventure, Fantasy

8.7
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.7/10 X  

The Avatar travels to the strange Serpent Isle in search of a fleeing criminal.

Director: Richard Garriott | Stars: Eric Brown, Richard Garriott, Bill Johnson, Denis R. Loubet

Votes: 59

62. Death of a Soldier (1986)

R | 93 min | Crime, Drama, War

5.3
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.3/10 X  

Based on a true story, James Coburn portrays a military lawyer assigned to defend a confessed psychotic killer. Set in the context of WWII and the uneasy US-Australian military alliance. ... See full summary »

Director: Philippe Mora | Stars: James Coburn, Bill Hunter, Reb Brown, Maurie Fields

Votes: 155

For Rebruary 2011. From the director of "Howling 2."

63. Fainaru fantajî X-2 (2003 Video Game)

T | Action, Adventure, Comedy

7.2
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  

Convinced that Tidus is still alive, Yuna embarks on a quest to find him.

Director: Motomu Toriyama | Stars: Hedy Burress, Tara Strong, Gwendoline Yeo, George Newbern

Votes: 1,920

"Monkey!" is in the #3 spot of the Top 11 Spoony Moments of 2011 list.

64. Tekken: The Motion Picture (1998 Video)

Unrated | 57 min | Animation, Action

5.3
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.3/10 X  

A wealthy mogul organizes a world fighting tournament on an offshore Chinese island. His hated son in search for vengeance and a pair of cops investigating the real reason for holding the tournament, secretly join the fighters.

Director: Kunihisa Sugishima | Stars: Edi Patterson, Kazuhiro Yamaji, Adam Dudley, Yumi Tôma

Votes: 1,939

For "The Month In Which I Review $h!tty Movies Based on Fighting Games."

65. Tekken (2010)

R | 92 min | Action, Crime, Drama

4.8
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.8/10 X  

Jin Kazama witnesses the death of his mother Jun by Tekken in the slums known as Anvil. After finding a Tekken ID he decides to seek out vengeance for his mother's death.

Director: Dwight H. Little | Stars: Jon Foo, Kelly Overton, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Ian Anthony Dale

Votes: 23,702

With Film Brain. For "The Month In Which I Review $h!tty Movies Based on Fighting Games."

66. The King of Fighters (2010)

93 min | Action, Sci-Fi, Thriller

3.1
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.1/10 X  

Live-action feature based on the video game "King of Fighters".

Director: Gordon Chan | Stars: Maggie Q, Sean Faris, Will Yun Lee, Ray Park

Votes: 3,764

For "The Month In Which I Review $h!tty Movies Based on Fighting Games."

67. DOA: Dead or Alive (2006)

PG-13 | 87 min | Action, Adventure

4.8
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.8/10 X  
38 Metascore

World's best fighters are invited to DOA, an invitational martial arts contest. There, four female rival fighters will have to work together to uncover the secret that the organizer of the tournament is trying to hide. (The movie adaptation of the best selling video game series Dead or Alive.)

Director: Corey Yuen | Stars: Jaime Pressly, Devon Aoki, Sarah Carter, Holly Valance

Votes: 40,156 | Gross: $0.48M

For "The Month In Which I Review $h!tty Movies Based on Fighting Games."

The Ass Counter exploding is in the #8 spot of the Top 11 Spoony Moments of 2011 list.

68. Skullduggery (1983)

R | 95 min | Comedy, Horror

2.3
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.3/10 X  

Simply, Adam is a man who happens to come from a long line of men cursed. He succumbs to the curse, and basically goes on a killing spree.

Director: Ota Richter | Stars: David Calderisi, Wendy Crewson, Thom Haverstock, Pamela Boyd

Votes: 244

Simcoe the Magician is in the #2 spot of the Top 11 Spoony Moments of 2011 list.

69. Space Transformer (1985)

G | 63 min | Animation, Action, Sci-Fi

3.4
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.4/10 X  

Using new technology, a crew consisting of Captain Chi, Nancy, and the robots Baipam and Diatron 5, is shrunken to microscopic size and injected into Ivy's body in order to defeat the ... See full summary »

Director: Su-yong Jeong

Votes: 36

Aka "Diatron-5"

With Bennett the Sage

70. Ultima VIII: Pagan (1994 Video Game)

Adventure, Fantasy

7.3
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.3/10 X  

Trapped in another realm by the Guardian, the Avatar must survive the perils of this new world and find a way home.

Director: Mike McShaffry | Stars: Rob Corell, Bill Johnson, Keith Kelly, John King

Votes: 67

71. Tekken: Blood Vengeance (2011)

TV-14 | 100 min | Animation, Action, Sci-Fi

5.9
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  

High school student Ling Xiaoyu is recruited by Anna Williams of G Corporation to transfer to Kyoto University and gather information on a student named Shin Kamiya.

Director: Yoichi Mori | Stars: Christine Marie Cabanos, Isshin Chiba, Kyle Hebert, Unshô Ishizuka

Votes: 4,698

72. Maximum Surge (2003 TV Movie)

PG-13 | 90 min | Sci-Fi

2.6
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.6/10 X  

When a super computer is linked to a video game network, a computer programmer who designed the game must enter the virtual reality world of his fantasies and defeat the computer before it causes a worldwide information crash.

Director: Jason Bourque | Stars: Yasmine Bleeth, Walter Koenig, Dominika Juillet, Woody Jeffreys

Votes: 150

Aka "Game Over"

73. Ultima IX: Ascension (1999 Video Game)

Action, Adventure, Fantasy

6.8
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.8/10 X  

The Avatar returns to Britannia for his final adventure to face his nemesis one last time: the powerful Guardian...

Director: Richard Garriott | Stars: J.C. Shakespeare, Audrey Peterson, Ev Lunning, Bill Johnson

Votes: 73

For a 3-part review.

"What's a paladin?"

74. Sting: Moment of Truth (2004 Video)

Not Rated | 89 min | Documentary, Biography, Sport

5.6
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  

Sting (Steve Borden) captures the imagination of the wrestling world in a way that few have. This wrestling superstar has appeared to more than half a billion people worldwide in live and ... See full summary »

Director: George King | Stars: Steve Borden, Donnie Fallgatter, Liz Byler, Matthew Carlton

Votes: 177

With Diamanda Hagan

75. Fainaru fantajî XIII (2009 Video Game)

T | Action, Adventure, Drama

7.4
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.4/10 X  

In a futuristic city, a group of adventurers must fight the government forces controlled by an alien force to stop its plan to destroy the world.

Director: Motomu Toriyama | Stars: Ali Hillis, Troy Baker, Georgia Van Cuylenburg, Reno Wilson

Votes: 2,391

For a 6-part review.

"You don't know yet?"

76. Night Claws (2012)

Not Rated | 83 min | Horror

2.5
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.5/10 X  

A small town is being terrorized by a killer Bigfoot. One that is blood thirsty, vicious and kills without warning and without discrimination. A scientist by the name of Sarah Evans (... See full summary »

Director: David A. Prior | Stars: Reb Brown, Leilani Sarelle, Ted Prior, Sherrie Rose

Votes: 533

For Rebruary 2013.

WHERE'S FRANK STALLONE!?

77. Uncommon Valor (1983)

R | 105 min | Action, Drama, Thriller

6.4
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
38 Metascore

Ten years after his son went MIA in Vietnam, U.S.Marine retired Colonel Jason Rhodes assembles a private rescue team to find Americans held in POW camps in Laos.

Director: Ted Kotcheff | Stars: Gene Hackman, Patrick Swayze, Robert Stack, Fred Ward

Votes: 7,616 | Gross: $30.50M

For Rebruary 2013, with The Critical Marine.

78. Last Flight to Hell (1990)

R | 84 min | Action, Crime

3.3
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.3/10 X  

Reb Brown stars as a highly trained DEA agent who goes to Southeast Asia on a high-risk mission to free a drug dealer (Mike Monty) from nasty terrorists so that he can face trial back in the U.S.

Director: Ignazio Dolce | Stars: Reb Brown, Michele Dehne, Chuck Connors, Mike Monty

Votes: 44

For Rebruary 2013

79. Minority Report (2002 Video Game)

T | Action, Drama, Mystery

6.8
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.8/10 X  

In the future, where crimes can be predicted and thus non existent, police chief John Anderton must go on the run when he's predicted to murder a man.

Stars: Clancy Brown, Quinton Flynn, Daran Norris, Jay Gordon

Votes: 100

80. Lethal Games (1991)

83 min | Action, Thriller

3.6
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.6/10 X  

A criminal mob hires a gang of thugs to subdue a small urban community, but the community decides to fight back.

Director: John T. Bone | Stars: Frank Stallone, Brenda Vaccaro, Dave Adams, Christopher Whalley

Votes: 38

For Pre-Reburary 2014.

81. Miami Vice (1984–1990)
Episode: Viking Bikers from Hell (1987)

TV-14 | 60 min | Action, Crime, Drama

7.0
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7/10 X  

A member of a violent biker gang is accidentally killed during a drug sting by Crockett. The other members of his biker gang avenge his death by killing everybody that may have been a part of it until they find the wire.

Director: James Quinn | Stars: Don Johnson, Philip Michael Thomas, Saundra Santiago, Michael Talbott

Votes: 188

For Rebruary 2014.

"...Hm."

82. The Love Boat (1977–1987)
Episode: Isaac's Teacher/Seal of Approval/The Successor (1981)

TV-G | 60 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

7.8
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.8/10 X  

A woman (Florence Henderson), who believes she is cursed and will die prematurely, is determined to find her husband (Jeffrey Tambor) a new mate, and he chooses a young passenger (Christina... See full summary »

Director: Bob Sweeney | Stars: Gavin MacLeod, Bernie Kopell, Fred Grandy, Ted Lange

Votes: 23

For Rebruary 2014.

83. White Ghost (1988)

R | 90 min | Action, Adventure, War

4.3
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.3/10 X  

An M.I.A. US soldier nicknamed White Ghost lives in hiding in the jungles of communist Vietnam. The US army finds out about him and sends a black ops team to rescue him. However, the team is lead by a man who wants White Ghost dead.

Director: BJ Davis | Stars: William Katt, Rosalind Chao, Martin Hewitt, Wayne Crawford

Votes: 249

For Rebruary 2014.

84. Hercules: The Legendary Journeys (1995–1999)
Episode: The Vanishing Dead (1995)

44 min | Action, Adventure, Drama

7.0
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7/10 X  

The bodies of dead soldiers are disappearing from the battlefield, so Hercules tries to find out what is happening and reconcile Dalin and Poena.

Director: Bruce Campbell | Stars: Kevin Sorbo, Michael Hurst, Reb Brown, Erik Thomson

Votes: 166

Hosted by Spoony's dog, Oreo, for April Fool's 2014.

85. The Barbarians (1987)

R | 87 min | Fantasy, Adventure

4.9
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.9/10 X  

Two twin barbarians seek revenge from the warlord who massacred their tribe and captured them when they were small children.

Director: Ruggero Deodato | Stars: David Paul, Peter Paul, Richard Lynch, Eva LaRue

Votes: 2,576 | Gross: $0.80M

For after the passing of The Ultimate Warrior.

86. Ultima: Runes of Virtue (1992 Video Game)

Action

Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 -/10 X  

The evil Black Knight steals the eight Runes of Virtue in order to bring chaos upon the world of Britannia, forcing Lord British to call upon the Avatar to retrieve them.

Directors: Alan Gardner, Richard Garriott

87. Ultima: Runes of Virtue II (1993 Video Game)

Adventure

Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 -/10 X  

The Black Knight returns, and kidnaps the mayors of the eight major cities of Britannia, forcing the Avatar to stop him once again.

Director: Alan Gardner

88. BloodRayne (2005)

R | 95 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

2.9
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.9/10 X  
18 Metascore

In the 18th century, a vampire escapes from the freak show she once participated in and teams up with a group of vampire slayers to kill the man who raped her mother.

Director: Uwe Boll | Stars: Kristanna Loken, Ben Kingsley, Michelle Rodriguez, Michael Madsen

Votes: 31,600 | Gross: $2.41M

With The Nostalgia Critic and Linkara. From the director of "Alone in the Dark."

Not realizing that water being harmful to vampires in both this movie and the games it's based on is in the #14 spot of the Another 15 Screw Ups of AT4W.

89. Massacre at Central High (1976)

R | 87 min | Drama, Thriller

6.2
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  

A high school transfer student, pushed to the edge by a trio of brutal bullies, resorts to murder to reclaim the school from oppression, and later turns against the students wanting to fill the vacuum of their oppressors.

Director: Rene Daalder | Stars: Derrel Maury, Andrew Stevens, Robert Carradine, Kimberly Beck

Votes: 1,371

For a 2-part review.

90. Street Hunter (1990)

R | 95 min | Action, Drama

5.6
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  

Logan Blade is a tough ex police officer turned bounty hunter who has to confront a street gang led by young Angel and his ruthless bodyguard, Colonel Walsh.

Director: John A. Gallagher | Stars: Steve James, Reb Brown, John Leguizamo, Valarie Pettiford

Votes: 207

For Rebruary 2016.

91. The Firing Line (1988)

90 min | Action

2.9
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.9/10 X  

An American military advisor becomes disillusioned by the brutality and corruption of the Central American government which hired him. When his shift in sympathies becomes known, he's ... See full summary »

Director: Jun Gallardo | Stars: Reb Brown, Shannon Tweed, Kahlena Marie, Mel Davidson

Votes: 261