My 20 Most Hated Movies.

by tezhowes | created - 05 Jun 2011 | updated - 11 Feb 2012 | Public

Just as with my Top 500 movies (http://www.imdb.com/list/4AdlpQnhDZg/), I make no claim to my opinion of any movie being definitive. But for one reason or another, these sure as hell rubbed me the wrong way and left me feeling the old adage, "Well, there's X hours of my life I'll never get back." I realize that this list, and its comments, will provoke but I'm curious to see if anyone out there had similar thoughts. Oh, and I'm trying to quit smoking.

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1. Forrest Gump (1994)

PG-13 | 142 min | Drama, Romance

8.8
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.8/10 X  
82 Metascore

JFK, LBJ, Vietnam, Watergate, and other history unfold through the perspective of an Alabama man with an IQ of 75.

Director: Robert Zemeckis | Stars: Tom Hanks, Robin Wright, Gary Sinise, Sally Field

Votes: 1,424,598 | Gross: $330.25M

The worst by a wide margin…American flag waving vomit. And no, I'm not anti-American, but this was just propaganda masquerading as entertainment. And I cringed every time the title character opened its mouth and found the whole notion just way too precious, as opposed to clever. Absolutely, no doubt in my mind, the worst film EVER given the Best Picture Oscar.

2. Fried Green Tomatoes (1991)

PG-13 | 130 min | Drama

7.7
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64 Metascore

A housewife who is unhappy with her life befriends an old lady in a nursing home and is enthralled by the tales she tells of people she used to know.

Director: Jon Avnet | Stars: Kathy Bates, Jessica Tandy, Mary Stuart Masterson, Mary-Louise Parker

Votes: 56,552 | Gross: $82.42M

The term 'chick flick' is usually preceived as a pejorative term by most men. I'm a man, and there are movies I'd define as serious chick flicks that I love. This, however, is a chick flick at its most annoying. It struggles to be intelligent, quirky, meaningful, sensitive, etc., but I found it a crashing bore and just sat in the theatre with the damn thing continually taunting me 'You'll be here forever, I'm never going to end, na na na na na na.'

3. The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

R | 100 min | Comedy, Musical

7.4
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.4/10 X  
58 Metascore

A newly engaged couple have a breakdown in an isolated area and must pay a call to the bizarre residence of Dr. Frank-N-Furter.

Director: Jim Sharman | Stars: Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon, Barry Bostwick, Richard O'Brien

Votes: 113,910 | Gross: $139.88M

I'm a straight male who is not homophobic. This piece of rot could potentially tip me in that direction, however. One of only 2 movies I've ever walked out on, so I can't be certain that it didn't somehow redeem itself in some fashion - or even justify its existence - after I left 2/3 of the way through, but I highly doubt it. How or why it has attained cult status is beyond me.

4. V for Vendetta (2005)

R | 132 min | Action, Drama, Sci-Fi

8.2
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.2/10 X  
62 Metascore

In a future British tyranny, a shadowy freedom fighter, known only by the alias of "V", plots to overthrow it with the help of a young woman.

Director: James McTeigue | Stars: Hugo Weaving, Natalie Portman, Rupert Graves, Stephen Rea

Votes: 877,650 | Gross: $70.51M

And the 'Worst (and most flagrantly derivative) Movie about a Dystopian Society' Award goes to…'

5. Under the Tuscan Sun (2003)

PG-13 | 113 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

6.8
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52 Metascore

A writer impulsively buys a villa in Tuscany in order to change her life.

Director: Audrey Wells | Stars: Diane Lane, Raoul Bova, Sandra Oh, Lindsay Duncan

Votes: 39,554 | Gross: $43.61M

Okay, no bones about this one. This is one of the most treacly pieces of chick flick trash I've ever, ever seen. Lane is embarrassing to watch - the scene where she gets giddy and jumps around the room still makes me cringe just thinking about it (or should I say assaulted by it) - and the awkward homage to 'La Dolce Vita' is just...stupid. (Never mind that I'm pretty confident that anyone who liked this piece of crap wouldn't even understand "La Dolce Vita', much less appreciate this lame allusion to it, as snotty a thing as that is to say.) And I don't want to introduce spoilers to these comments, so suffice it to say that the final 'plot element' had me just saying 'Oh, give me a break.'

6. Magnolia (1999)

R | 188 min | Drama

8.0
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77 Metascore

An epic mosaic of interrelated characters in search of love, forgiveness, and meaning in the San Fernando Valley.

Director: Paul Thomas Anderson | Stars: Tom Cruise, Jason Robards, Julianne Moore, Philip Seymour Hoffman

Votes: 255,763 | Gross: $22.46M

I'm not a genius in general or a film expert in particular. I couldn't direct a movie if you put a gun to my head; I'd probably make Ed Wood look like Billy Wilder. So a big kudo to anyone who can handle such a herculean undertaking, and even more so to be praised for it by many who purport to be experts. But ultimately, artists create as a form of expression. And I think I DO appreciate much of what goes into making a 'good' film. I guess I just don't understand the reasons why Paul Thomas Anderson makes movies. I've seen 3 films by him and hated them all. This one the most.

7. Boogie Nights (1997)

R | 155 min | Drama

7.9
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85 Metascore

The story of a young man's adventures in the Californian pornography industry of the late 1970s and early 1980s.

Director: Paul Thomas Anderson | Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Julianne Moore, Burt Reynolds, Luis Guzmán

Votes: 204,061 | Gross: $26.40M

Might as well get the PTAs out of the way in order. Great fodder for a movie, unexplored ground, potential up the ying yang, but I wanted to shoot myself in the head about the same time William Macy did onscreen.

8. Priest (1994)

R | 98 min | Drama, Romance

7.1
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A homosexual Catholic priest finds out during confessional that a young girl is being sexually abused by her father, and has to decide how to deal with both that secret and his own.

Director: Antonia Bird | Stars: Linus Roache, Tom Wilkinson, Robert Carlyle, Cathy Tyson

Votes: 8,715 | Gross: $4.18M

Alright, this one was a loaded gun for me. 1. I'm an atheist who believes religion causes more suffering than solace. 2. I ALSO believe the Roman Catholic church (in which I was indoctrinated as a child and DO know something about) has been looking the other way for centuries regarding homosexual and paedophilic males who enter the priesthood, many either hoping to find salvation from their impulses, or conversely covertly indulge them. And while I find it laughable that church doctrine demands that one's sex drive - a basic human need - be extinguished in order to take on the mantle of priest, I also maintain that if you take that oath and break it, well, I have no sympathy for you. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. So, even with an AMAZING British dream cast - Wilkinson, Carlyle, Tyson et al, I had no sympathy for THIS character's agonies, although I do think Linus Roache's performance was good.

9. Battlefield Earth (2000)

PG-13 | 118 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

2.4
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.4/10 X  
9 Metascore

After enslavement and near extermination by an alien race in the year 3000, humanity begins to fight back.

Director: Roger Christian | Stars: John Travolta, Forest Whitaker, Barry Pepper, Kim Coates

Votes: 68,584 | Gross: $21.47M

Okay, we ALL know this was garbage of the stinkiest magnitude. And perversely, I'll stick with it if I'm channel flipping and catch it on late night tv, for about a minute or two, just to shake my head. I expect no defense of, or offense taken at, the inclusion of this laughable entry. But I had to throw it in. And they made a religion (I use the term loosely here) out of the mundane thought process that created this tripe?

10. The Road to Wellville (1994)

R | 118 min | Comedy, Drama

5.8
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A story about the ins and outs of one unusual health facility in the early twentieth century, run by the eccentric Dr. Kellogg.

Director: Alan Parker | Stars: Anthony Hopkins, Bridget Fonda, Matthew Broderick, John Cusack

Votes: 10,289 | Gross: $6.51M

Remember I said I've walked out of only 2 movies in my life? This was the other one. Gee, a movie about enemas. What a great idea. NOT. Went to this forewarned, even, but Hopkins was in full stride at the time, and being an admirer, I thought 'How bad could it be?' Anthony, what were you thinking?

11. The Phantom of the Opera (2004)

PG-13 | 143 min | Drama, Musical, Romance

7.3
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40 Metascore

A young soprano becomes the obsession of a disfigured musical genius who lives beneath the Paris Opéra House. He kidnaps the soprano and forces the owners of the play to keep her as the lead role of the play.

Director: Joel Schumacher | Stars: Gerard Butler, Emmy Rossum, Patrick Wilson, Miranda Richardson

Votes: 103,219 | Gross: $51.27M

Joel Schumacher meets Andrew Lloyd Webber. Nuff said.

12. Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

R | 159 min | Drama, Mystery, Thriller

7.4
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68 Metascore

A New York City doctor, who is married to an art curator, pushes himself on a harrowing and dangerous night-long odyssey of sexual and moral discovery after his wife admits that she once almost cheated on him.

Director: Stanley Kubrick | Stars: Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman, Todd Field, Sydney Pollack

Votes: 249,547 | Gross: $55.69M

The great Kubrick ends his illustrious career with a deafening thud. If only he'd lived long enough to collaborate with Spielberg on AI, he might have reined in Spielberg's sentimental excesses and made AI his last great movie, instead of the just pedestrian sci fi offering that Spielberg constructed. But instead, we were left with this boring and incomprehensible turd of a flick.

13. Titanic (1997)

PG-13 | 194 min | Drama, Romance

7.8
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74 Metascore

A seventeen-year-old aristocrat falls in love with a kind but poor artist aboard the luxurious, ill-fated R.M.S. Titanic.

Director: James Cameron | Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates

Votes: 872,409 | Gross: $0.69M

Titanic, yes. In length. In soppy and predictable romanticism. Although being a guy, I kind of liked that part where the big boat sank. That was really cool! P.S. The second worst film ever to win the Best Picture Oscar.

14. The Blair Witch Project (1999)

R | 81 min | Horror, Mystery

6.4
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
81 Metascore

Three film students vanish after traveling into a Maryland forest to film a documentary on the local Blair Witch legend, leaving only their footage behind.

Directors: Daniel Myrick, Eduardo Sánchez | Stars: Heather Donahue, Michael C. Williams, Joshua Leonard, Bob Griffin

Votes: 204,528 | Gross: $140.54M

P.T. Barnum would’ve LOVED viral marketing. Who the hell could possibly have been scared by 80 minutes of a shaky hand held cam shooting the leaf covered floor of a forest in Maryland? I mean, how big was this forest? Uh, stop arguing (and swearing, for that matter) and agree to go in one direction until you get out, kids. You're in MARYLAND, not Siberia. Problem solved.

15. Code Unknown (2000)

Not Rated | 118 min | Drama, Romance, War

7.2
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  
74 Metascore

A young man harasses a homeless woman, another man protests, the police arrest both and the woman has to leave the country. What were their various story-lines leading up to this event?

Director: Michael Haneke | Stars: Juliette Binoche, Thierry Neuvic, Josef Bierbichler, Alexandre Hamidi

Votes: 9,472 | Gross: $0.10M

As I said earlier, I'm not a genius. Some things are bound to go over my head. Maybe this is one of them. I thought this was pretentious tripe, and pointless to boot. But then the next year, Haneke made 'The Piano Teacher', which I loved. So I dunno.

16. The Watcher (I) (2000)

R | 97 min | Crime, Horror, Mystery

5.3
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22 Metascore

David Allen Griffin is a cool killer- time and time again, he chooses a female victim, studies her for weeks till he knows her routine to the smallest detail, makes meticulous preparations ... See full summary »

Director: Joe Charbanic | Stars: James Spader, Keanu Reeves, Marisa Tomei, Ernie Hudson

Votes: 23,268 | Gross: $28.93M

Keanu Reeves, the most laughable psychopath in movie history. This little non-gem would have been a stinker even with, I don't know, someone with actual acting ability in the role, but I can't resist the opportunity for a little Keanu-bashing, and since I avoid his stuff in general like a jogger does dog turds in the park, this is about as much Keanu as I've ever suffered.

17. Crimes of the Heart (1986)

PG-13 | 105 min | Comedy, Drama

6.4
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Three sisters with quite different personalities and lives reunite when the youngest of them, Babe, has just shot her husband. The oldest sister, Lenny, takes care of their grandfather and ... See full summary »

Director: Bruce Beresford | Stars: Diane Keaton, Jessica Lange, Sissy Spacek, Sam Shepard

Votes: 3,098 | Gross: $22.91M

If, as they say, bad things come in three's, then consider this the third 'chick flick' on this list. Three harpies screaming at each other for 105 minutes…surely they run this in hell 24-7.

18. The Ten Commandments (1956)

Approved | 220 min | Adventure, Drama

7.9
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The Egyptian Prince, Moses, learns of his true heritage as a Hebrew and his divine mission as the deliverer of his people.

Director: Cecil B. DeMille | Stars: Charlton Heston, Yul Brynner, Anne Baxter, Edward G. Robinson

Votes: 52,458 | Gross: $93.74M

Never read Mein Kampf. Not interested in the thoughts of a deranged lunatic who committed some of the greatest atrocities in human history. But I understand that the following statement came from it: "If you tell a lie long enough, loud enough and often enough, the people will believe it." In this case, Hollywood will make a movie about it. And a boring one at that.

19. In America (2002)

PG-13 | 105 min | Drama

7.8
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.8/10 X  
76 Metascore

A family of Irish immigrants adjust to life on the mean streets of Hell's Kitchen while also grieving the death of a child.

Director: Jim Sheridan | Stars: Paddy Considine, Samantha Morton, Djimon Hounsou, Sarah Bolger

Votes: 37,895 | Gross: $15.54M

"My Left Foot'. 'In The Name of the Father'. 'The Boxer.' Three absolute gems from this director. And then this hackneyed immigrant snore fest. And damn it, I'm a proud third generation Irish Canadian. Thought I'd love it. Maybe Sheridan needs Daniel Day Lewis for his films to work.

20. My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)

PG | 95 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

6.6
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
62 Metascore

A young Greek woman falls in love with a non-Greek and struggles to get her family to accept him while she comes to terms with her heritage and cultural identity.

Director: Joel Zwick | Stars: Nia Vardalos, John Corbett, Michael Constantine, Christina Eleusiniotis

Votes: 108,612 | Gross: $241.44M

NO idea why this caught on and became the sensation it did. Boring and humorless, with the most flat and uncharismatic cast imaginable. Not that I buy into Hollywood's eternal fixation with 'pretty' although I accept it as the inevitable leg up that those who are so gifted have in this plastic Barbie world called Western Civilization - but damn, these people were unwatchable.

21. In Living Color (1990–1994)

30 min | Comedy

8.1
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.1/10 X  

The Wayans siblings present an African-American focused sketch comedy show.

Stars: Keenen Ivory Wayans, Jim Carrey, Kelly Coffield Park, David Alan Grier

Votes: 7,971

Bonus Rant: ANYTHING with ANYONE ever involved in the TV series ‘In Living Color’ (in other words, the intensely unfunny Jim Carrey [although I did give 'The Mask' a 5 because it was the only movie where his one-note mugging served the character] and any worthless Wayans brother you care to choose.)

Only in America, I cautiously postulate, can you win the fame and money lottery with absolutely zero skill or talent. (Can you say Kim Kardashian? or Kourtney? or Krinkle, or whatever the hell they call however many the hell more there might be of this TTWM? (Trailer Trash With Money.)

22. Jersey Shore (2009–2012)

TV-14 | 40 min | Comedy, Drama, Reality-TV

3.5
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.5/10 X  

A reality-based look at the vapid lives of several New Jersey 20-somethings and their respective friends and/or hook-ups.

Stars: Sammi 'Sweetheart' Giancola, Nicole Polizzi, Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino, Jenni 'Jwoww' Farley

Votes: 21,344

Extra Bonus Rant: Inadvertently caught 15 minutes of this garbage the other night. To me, reality shows by definition are crap, at least 99% of them, with the remaining 1% irrelevant. But why ANYONE would care about the antics displayed on this piece of crap is UTTERLY beyond me. These pieces of human sewage would all be in jail or rotting in squalid rooming houses living on baked beans and moldy bread were they not making 100K an episode (I looked it up) proudly flaunting their worthless lives and a COLLECTIVE IQ equivalent to a sack of hair.