Mystery Science Theater 3000: From Best To Weakest

This isn't yet another pointless alphabetical listing of all the movies covered by MST3K. You can find such lists on Wikipedia and dozens of other sites.

The purpose of this list is to correct the often lousy and inaccurate appraisals of individual episodes by some fanatical but deluded MST3K fans. People who set up MST fan-sites get a lot of it wrong, so I figured it's time to set the record straight and give you a much better idea of which episodes to seek out and which to avoid or leave for later. The unusual nature of the show means that the quality sometimes varies drastically from episode to episode.

There are a handful of MST3K fan sites with extensive and detailed info about all the episodes, including ratings. While their effort is duly noted and appreciated, most of the rabid MST3K fans tend to favour the more childish type of riffing, which is more to be found during the Joel era, i.e. the earlier seasons. Pop-culture references are all they're interested in, sending them into fits of hysteria, and they even place great importance on the skits. But this is just a general rule.

I prefer the more dry, sarcastic approach found prevalently in the later seasons with Mike, rather than the more "tee-hee-hee" type of humour from the Joel era. So if your favourite episode is the badly-riffed "Eegah", you might as well skip this list altogether - or reverse the order, i.e. make the worst-rated episode here the one that should interest you most.

There are two ratings per entry:

RIFFING - reflects the quality of the gags/comments; anything above a 2/5 is a successfully riffed episode

MOVIE - rates the so-bad-it's-good fun factor the movie provides on its own i.e. this grade does not only reflect the level of badness or incompetence of the movie's makers but whether the film itself is colourful/fun or monotonous/bland

Skits i.e. "host segments" do not factor in at all, nor do I mention them in my comments. While some of them are quite good, they are not the reason I watch the show.

Movie shorts also don't affect the ratings, and are very rarely mentioned. They would require a separate list.

I've chosen to list the shows in the (approximate) order of the RIFFING quality, but the MOVIE rating is also fairly important in the overall enjoyment of each episode.

Considering what drivel most TV audiences go for, it was nothing short of miraculous that MST3K went on for 10 seasons. I am amazed they weren't cancelled after just a dozen episodes, given that the show is intelligent and contains a number of obscure references none of which the average MTV airhead will be able to figure out.

The surprising longevity of the show also means that I simply haven't had the time to watch all of the episodes yet. More will be added gradually. Listed are the ones I have seen so far, i.e. at the moment 130/177.

Included are the Comedy Central and Sci-Fi eras, plus the feature film.
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1.
Space Mutiny (1988)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.0/10 X  
A pilot is the only hope to stop the mutiny of a spacecraft by its security crew, who plot to sell the crew of the ship into slavery. (91 mins.)
“ Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 5/5

The movie is so cretinous it pretty much mocks itself, the rest is just a formality. Possibly the only film ever made in which a murdered character re-appears without any explanation whatsoever. Does this constitute disastrous continuity or a lack of continuity? A question for filmic philosophers and semantics experts to answer.

There is only one aspect of the movie that isn't Z-grade level: the space battle scenes, all of which were lifted/borrowed from "Battlestar Galactica". It surprised me that there was no mention of this in the commentary; stranger still, they even made fun of these very solid special-effects as "lame". ” - fedor8
 
2.
The Incredible Melting Man (1977)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.8/10 X  
An astronaut is transformed into a murderous gelatinous mass after returning from an ill-fated space voyage. (84 mins.)
Director: William Sachs
“ Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 4/5

If you watch the movie you will learn of ATCHKA. That's a promise.

Consistently funny riffing, especially during the end-credits when the trio discuss what sorts of things they'd learned from the movie. ” - fedor8
 
3.
Werewolf (1995 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.6/10 X  
Unscrupulous archaeologists try to take advantage of an outbreak of lycanthropy prompted by the discovery of a werewolf skeleton in the Arizona desert. (99 mins.)
Director: Tony Zarindast
“ Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 4/5

The perpetual look of desperation on Joe Estevez's face: the result of realizing he's in an awful movie, or is it the result of the fear and insecurity of living up to a "great script"? I've seen this episode many times but could never figure this out.

Judging by the intelligence exhibited by his famous family members, it might just be the latter. ” - fedor8
 
4.
The Mole People (1956)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.7/10 X  
A party of archaeologists discovers the remnants of a mutant five-millennia-old Sumerian civilization living beneath a glacier atop a mountain in Mesopotamia. (77 mins.)
Director: Virgil Vogel
“ Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 5/5

These are the kinds of bad B-movies I love the most. Thankfully, the guys are in top form so this is pretty much a perfect episode. Underground slave lizards have never been this much fun. ” - fedor8
 
5.
Night of the Blood Beast (1958)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.0/10 X  
An astronaut is killed on reentry to Earth, but his body is seeded with rapidly gestating aliens. (62 mins.)
“ Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 4/5

I'm surprised they were barely talked into riffing this splendid piece of cheesy nonsense. It is full of comedic potential which was exploited to the hilt, such as a pregnant male astronaut torn between his NASA buddies and a large alien parrot. ” - fedor8
 
6.
The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.4/10 X  
A defecting Soviet scientist is hit by a nuclear explosion near Yucca Flats and roams around as a beast. (54 mins.)
Director: Coleman Francis
“ Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 3/5

This episode also has the best short, "Progress Island, USA", which literally had me falling to the ground. One of the funniest things they'd ever done.

The Yuccoflattian beast is Tor Johnson, btw, and not even Ed Wood could eke out more cheese out of him than this. ” - fedor8
 
7.
Night Train to Mundo Fine (1966)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.6/10 X  
Escaped convict Griffin and his friends ran all the way to Hell...with a penny, and a broken cigarette. (89 mins.)
Director: Coleman Francis
“ aka "Red Zone Cuba"

Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 4/5

The greater the ambition, the bigger the fall - at least when it comes to dilettantes. Ed Wood cherished his "Plan 9" above all else, and I have a feeling that Coleman Francis loves this one the most; he certainly seems to be taking it very seriously - luckily for us.

Cuba and Castro like you've never seen them before. Useful insight though into why the U.S. failed at the Bay of Pigs: sending 6 amateur soldiers ain't gonna do the job! ” - fedor8
 
8.
Quest of the Delta Knights (1993 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.1/10 X  
A secret society, the Delta Knights, attempts to save a medieval society from the evil over-lady. (97 mins.)
Director: James Dodson
“ Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 4/5

Considered a weak episode among MST3K fans, for whatever bizarre reasons. Perhaps they're annoyed Mary Jo Pehl got to do some riffing, no idea. She wasn't bad at all.

The costumes and make-up in this pathetic little kids flick are bargain-basement; the basement is infested with rats, i.e. the rat-poison is ineffective hence sold at a bargain.

TQOTDK toys with the Lea-Han-Luke type of "Star Wars" love-triangle shtick, and I'm surprised the team didn't pick up on this and comment on it. ” - fedor8
 
9.
The Horror of Party Beach (1964)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.8/10 X  
Sea creatures created from radioactive sludge terrorize a beach community. (78 mins.)
Director: Del Tenney
“ Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 4/5 ” - fedor8
 
10.
This Island Earth (1955)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
Aliens come to Earth seeking scientists to help them in their war. (87 mins.)
Director: Joseph Newman
“ Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 5/5

It's astounding that some people consider this movie to be too good for an MST3K treatment. TIE melts with the highest quality American cheese, and is perfect for mocking. ” - fedor8
 
11.
Sadko (1953)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.1/10 X  
Arriving home to find his native land under the yoke of corrupt merchants, an adventurer named Sadko sets sail in search of a mythical bird of happiness. (85 mins.)
“ aka "The Magic Voyage Of Sinbad"

Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 5/5

It's a pity they didn't do more Russian films, only four. I love the fact that the hero fails, and then tries to make up some damn excuse. ” - fedor8
 
12.
The Leech Woman (1960)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.3/10 X  
An endocrinologist in a dysfunctional marriage with an aging, alcoholic wife journeys to Africa seeking a drug that will restore youth. (77 mins.)
Director: Edward Dein
“ Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 4/5

Never has a mere ring been such a powerful weapon - not even Tolkien's ring, and certainly no pineal ring. Then again, there never WAS such a thing as a pineal ring in any fiction before - because no B-movie or pulp novel was ever this stupid. (OK, so there are lot worse movies, but only the Z-category ones).

The Leech Woman, previously without any combat training, uses a pointy little ring to kill with such ease and efficiency, even Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris are red with envy.

TLW also features one huge plot-hole, and an enormously dumb plot-device.
The plot hole: it is never explained WHY the 152 year-old black woman came into Niel's office. Judging from what transpired, I can only make the following deduction: she decided that she had to finally die, so she thought "oh, what the hell, before I trek to Africa I'll just go this guy's office, he keeps appearing in my dream so obviously I gotta lull him into his death somehow".

The plot-device: the Leach Woman regains her youth, suddenly becoming... startlingly average-looking, actually. Nevertheless, her nothing-special looks are enough to break off a couple's engagement and ruin their relationship within MINUTES. The young lawyer acts as if he'd seen the most ravishing woman in the history of mankind and proceeds to flirt with Leech Woman right in front of his fiancee's nose! Some of the best riffing revolves around these ridiculous scenes.

Every single character in this movie is a potential or actual murderer. This flick is so wonderfully retarded, it provides for ample ridicule. ” - fedor8
 
13.
Hercules (1958)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  
The muscular Hercules performs his Labors, sails with the Argonauts, and romances the fair Iole. (104 mins.)
“ aka "Hercules"

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5 ” - fedor8
 
14.
The Pumaman (1980)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.1/10 X  
Low-budget film about a young man given a mystical medallion by an Aztec shaman, in order to become... (90 mins.)
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 5/5

One of MST3K's more pathetic movie heroes, dirt-awful special-effects, and an astoundingly dumb plot are the main culprits of fun in this bizarre Italian turkey. I don't know many movies in which a "good guy" throws people out of windows. ” - fedor8
 
15.
Danger!! Death Ray (1967)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.2/10 X  
Secret Agent Bart Fargo chases the kidnappers of the inventor of a death ray. (93 mins.)
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5 ” - fedor8
 
16.
The Screaming Skull (1958)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.4/10 X  
A newly married couple arrives at the home of the husband's late wife, where the gardens have been maintained by a gardener faithful to the dead woman's memory. Soon, eerie events lead the new wife to think she's losing her mind. (68 mins.)
Director: Alex Nicol
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 3/5 ” - fedor8
 
17.
Future War (1997 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.7/10 X  
A run-away human slave from Earth's future escapes to the present. (90 mins.)
Director: Anthony Doublin
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 2/5

Visually this ranks in the TOP 5 UGLIEST MST3K movies, so it's the clever riffing that provides the much-needed relief. Without it, this mega-bomb would be almost unwatchable despite its unbelievable badness.
Possibly a TOP 5 WORST-EVER MST3K film. Not one iota of this movie even remotely suggests that a professional worked on it. ” - fedor8
 
18.
Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders (1996 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.3/10 X  
Two creepy "horror" films joined together by Merlin's Shop which is, in turn, introduced by a Grandpa telling the story. (92 mins.)
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 5/5

I have rarely seen uglier make-up and phonier-looking beards as in this little travesty. Ernest Borg 9 appears here, in what must be the highlight of his career - if we were only to count the year 1996. ” - fedor8
 
19.
Fire Maidens of Outer Space (1956)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.1/10 X  
A team of astronauts lands on a moon of Jupiter to find it populated with beautiful young women looking for mates. An old man explains to the explorers the group's story, as well as the moon's dangers. (80 mins.)
Director: Cy Roth
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 3/5

Some of the riffing centered around the "astronauts" is absolutely hysterical. They all smoke, they're dressed like postmen, and they seem unimpressed with the fact that they're the first men to land on an alien world, disinterested even. They're far more interested in lighting up the next cigarette to wile away the boredom. ” - fedor8
 
20.
The Projected Man (1966)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.1/10 X  
A scientist experimenting with matter transmission from place to place by means of a laser beam suddenly decides to use himself as a test specimen... (77 mins.)
Director: Ian Curteis
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 2/5

A typically morose British 60s sci-fi, saved by the commentary. It's ironic that the Brits, so famed for their comedy, made such startlingly humourless and dull horror and science-fiction films back then. ” - fedor8
 
21.
Frosty (1964)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.0/10 X  
A fairy-tale about a conceited young man and a young woman with a tyrannical step-mother, who must overcome magical trials in order to be together. (84 mins.)
Director: Aleksandr Rou
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

One of the weirdest MST3K movies. Colourful, daft, unpredictable. Another Russian gem. ” - fedor8
 
22.
Soultaker (1990)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.3/10 X  
Four teenagers are killed in a car accident. Two of the teenagers refuse to go with "The Grim Reaper" and a race between life and death ensues! (94 mins.)
Director: Michael Rissi
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 3/5

Martin Sheen's brother Joe Estevez is a clone of Martin's son Emilio. Either that, or Joe is his real father.

The Estevez gene needs to be studied further. This much we do know already, however: it is not necessarily an acting gene. ” - fedor8
 
23.
The Bat People (1974)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.2/10 X  
After being bitten by a bat in a cave, a doctor undergoes an accelerating transformation into a man-bat, which ruins his vacation and causes considerable distress for his wife. (91 mins.)
Director: Jerry Jameson
“ aka "It Lives By Night"

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 3/5 ” - fedor8
 
24.
Gunslinger (1956)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.1/10 X  
After her husband is gunned down, Rose Hood takes his place temporarily as marshal of a small Western town. (71 mins.)
Director: Roger Corman
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

Westerns usually put me to sleep, so I was surprised how much they managed to squeeze out of this ultra-cliched crap. Visually nice, which was a bit of a surprise given that Corman puts no effort into any of his movies. ” - fedor8
 
25.
San Francisco International Airport (1970 TV Series)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.1/10 X  
Clu Gulager and Pernell Roberts save the day in this suspense-filled day at the airport. (60 mins.)
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5 ” - fedor8
 
26.
Prince of Space (1959)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.2/10 X  
When an alien force tries to invade Earth to steal a powerful new rocket fuel, a mysterious hero intervenes. (121 mins.)
Director: E. Wakabayashi
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 5/5

Belongs in the TOP 3 MOST CHILDISH MST3K MOVIES. I believe it was made for very retarded 3 year-olds; the baby-bottle milk turns into cheese very rapidly. The hero keeps playing hide-and-seek with the chicken-faced aliens, and that's possibly one of the less silly things about the movie. ” - fedor8
 
27.
The Phantom Planet (1961)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.3/10 X  
After an invisible asteroid draws an astronaut and his ship to its surface, he is miniaturized by the phantom planet's exotic atmosphere. (82 mins.)
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 5/5

A wuss-like astronaut gives a speech about "the good and the beautiful". It will leave you speech-less. ” - fedor8
 
28.
12 to the Moon (1960)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.8/10 X  
An international team embarks on an expedition to the moon in an uncommonly spacious rocketship. There... (74 mins.)
Director: David Bradley
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 5/5

It is fascinating to consider that this movie was released just 9 years before Kubrick's "2001". There might as well be 2001 years between them. ” - fedor8
 
29.
Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell (1988)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.4/10 X  
The third thrilling saga of Deathstalker pits him against the evil wizard and ruler of the Southland... (86 mins.)
Director: Alfonso Corona
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 5/5

They cut out some of the sex-scenes, this might even be R-rated. Incredibly dumb. ” - fedor8
 
30.
The Space Children (1958)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.5/10 X  
An alien intelligence aborts the launching of a rocket with the help of a bunch of children. (69 mins.)
Director: Jack Arnold
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5 ” - fedor8
 
31.
Girl in Gold Boots (1968)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.2/10 X  
A young woman leaves her job as a waitress and travels to Los Angeles, where she strives to become the top star in the glamorous world of go-go dancing. (94 mins.)
Director: Ted V. Mikels
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5 ” - fedor8
 
32.
Secret Agent Super Dragon (1966)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.0/10 X  
A series of murders in Michigan lead an American secret agent to Amsterdam, where he uncovers a plot to imperil the world with a potent new drug. (100 mins.)
“ aka "Secret Agent Super Dragon"

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5 ” - fedor8
 
33.
Hercules and the Captive Women (1961)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.9/10 X  
Strong yet sleepy Hercules discovers that the Queen of Atlantis is plotting to take over the world with superhuman warriors. (101 mins.)
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 5/5

Why this movie has "captive women" in the title I'll never know. Only one woman is captive, and she is rescued just 15 minutes into the movie - but the film has a whole bunch of captive men. Perhaps "Hercules And The Captive Men" might have sounded too... well, you know.

Hercules rescues the movie's only captive girl, he brings her back to her family - only for them to immediately try and kill her, in what must be one of the more legendary idiotic plot-twists in the show's rich history. Soon thereafter, the evil queen (the captive woman's angry Mom) tries to have pretty much everyone killed, and for reasons that are quite vague.

There is even ample mention of "Uranus", and if you thought that cheesy word-play has outlived its funniness - think again: "the blood of Uranus can never be destroyed!" This is not a riff, but an actual line from the movie. I couldn't believe I could still find "Uranus" funny.

And I promise you, you WILL laugh at the scene when Hercules throws a stuffed lion toy over a cliff only to have a vulture thrown back at him. Great episode. ” - fedor8
 
34.
King Dinosaur (1955)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.9/10 X  
A new planet moves into our solar system and four scientists (two couples) are sent to explore Planet Nova. In between romantic interludes, the cast faces an iguana masquerading as a Tyrannosaurus Rex. (63 mins.)
Director: Bert I. Gordon
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

Perhaps even Corman would have been too embarrassed to work with Lippert. You will drop your jaw when you see these "astronauts" and witness the things they say and do.

You know you're in trouble when your movie's lemur is bigger than all of your dinosaurs combined. ” - fedor8
 
35.
Riding with Death (1976 TV Movie)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.8/10 X  
Dimwitted, meaty guy foils criminals by turning invisible. (97 mins.)
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 2/5 ” - fedor8
 
36.
The Brute Man (1946)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.8/10 X  
A facially deformed and mentally unhinged man wreaks his revenge on those who deformed him with a series of brutal murders. (58 mins.)
Director: Jean Yarbrough
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 3/5 ” - fedor8
 
37.
Santo vs. las mujeres vampiro (1962)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.3/10 X  
A professor recruits a professional wrestler to protect his daughter from vampires intent on kidnaping her and marrying her to the devil. (89 mins.)
“ aka "Samson vs. the Vampire Women"

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 2/5

The first ten minutes or so are quite unwatchable, as are other parts of this tedious garbage, but it does have its moments. The funniest riffing is centered around the old geezer. ” - fedor8
 
38.
Lost Continent (1951)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.0/10 X  
Major Joe Nolan heads a rescue mission in the South Pacific to recover a downed atomic rocket. The crew crashlands on a mysterious island... (83 mins.)
Director: Samuel Newfield
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 2/5

Abundant scenes of mountain-climbing would normally have you yawning like a walrus, but the riffing is at its best during these bits. ” - fedor8
 
39.
Escape from the Bronx (1983)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.9/10 X  
A rag-tag group of people must fight extermination squads amid their ruined city. (89 mins.)
“ aka "Escape 2000"

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

The amazingly moronic premise: a mega-evil corporation (what else?) forcibly evacuates the entire population of Bronx to New Mexico (of all places), in order to start afresh by building new high-rise apartment buildings. In order to achieve this, the evil corporation send incompetent morons dressed in shiny gray suits to the Bronx, armed with flame-throwers with which they commit genocide, while the rest of New York remains blissfully unaware of the massacres. It really truly doesn't get any dumber than this.

This Italian stinker provides the ideal background for some great riffs, particularly during the action scenes of which there are a helluva lot. ” - fedor8
 
40.
The Starfighters (1964)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.2/10 X  
A young Air Force lieutenant falls in love with fighter planes while his father, a Congressman and war hero, yearns for him to fly heavy bombers. (78 mins.)
Director: Will Zens
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 3/5

I would struggle to give you a summary of the movie's plot, simply because there is none. Literally no story here. But I will try... People fly jets and then talk. They fly some more, talk, then fly again. ” - fedor8
 
41.
Warrior of the Lost World (1983)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.3/10 X  
A nomad mercenary on a high-tech motorcycle helps bring about the downfall of the evil Orwellian government, the Omega. (92 mins.)
Director: David Worth
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

A hero of a post-apocalyptic world... who looks like Lars Ulrich from Metallica.
WOTLW features perhaps THE most useless bad-guy army in the history of cinema. Forget Rambo gunning down thousands of fairly blind Vietnamese soldiers, these Orwellian Nazi types couldn't hit a target if it were tied to a chair in front of them.
Donald Pleasance looks almost drugged while playing the exact same character from "You Only Live Twice".

"Mad Max" for the mentally-challenged. ” - fedor8
 
42.
American Playhouse (1981 TV Series)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.1/10 X  
The mind of a computer programmer forced to take a virtual vacation is removed by a totalitarian government and accidentally trapped in the virtual reality simulation. He must find a way out before he expires.
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

The obvious made-for-TVness of this movie literally screams at you from first to last frame. Has the look of a mediocre 80s Twilight Zone episode.

Raul Julia is supposed to be a highly intelligent computer programmer from a dystopian-dysmoronic future, but appears practically half-witted. The less said about his awful-looking love-interest, the better. The special-effects must have forced a few people involved in this turkey to hide for years - or delete this movie from their CVs. ” - fedor8
 
43.
Five the Hard Way (1969)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.6/10 X  
Motorcycle racer Rommel seeks vengeance against JC, a madman who murdered the sidehacker's fiancee. (82 mins.)
Director: Gus Trikonis
“ aka "Sidehackers"

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 2/5

There are a number of hacks in MST3K's rich bad-guys history who overact their b***s off, but this one takes the cake; it's all about face-contortions for him. One of the stupidest tales of revenge you're ever likely to witness on a screen. ” - fedor8
 
44.
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.9/10 X  
A family gets lost on the road and stumbles upon a hidden, underground, devil-worshiping cult led by the fearsome Master and his servant Torgo. (70 mins.)
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 3/5

This pointless oddity has a mood all-of-its-own. The sets are so depressing, shoddy, and dark, they would have been ideal for a "Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer" type of film, or "Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 11"; I can just see Leatherface running around this house, hacking people to bits. Instead they chose to shoot a silly Satanic-cult flick with an extremely thin plot.

I can picture the director handing out Prozac during the filming, I really can.

A fan favourite. ” - fedor8
 
45.
The Violent Years (1956)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.9/10 X  
Paula Parkins is the teenage daughter of wealthy parents whom don't seem to make time for her, so she looks for thrills as the leader of her all girl gang who steal, rob, and rape young men. (65 mins.)
Director: Wm. M. Morgan
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

Unfortunately, this was "only" written by Ed Wood. His talents only fully come to the fray when he was director-writer-producer, just like his idol Orson Welles. Still, nothing with even a smidgen of wood in it should be missed. ” - fedor8
 
46.
Colossus and the Headhunters (1963)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.8/10 X  
Maciste and his people flee their volcano-ravaged island. They end up caught in between two warring tribes. (81 mins.)
Director: Guido Malatesta
“ Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 2/5 ” - fedor8
 
47.
Rocket Attack U.S.A. (1961)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.5/10 X  
An American secret agent tries to stop the Soviets from launching an intercontinental missile at the mainland United States. (68 mins.)
Director: Barry Mahon
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Fortunately, the riffs aren't littered, infiltrated and ruined with Joel's left-wing drivel, so this ends up being a rather fun episode, centered around an ultra-low-budget stinker that can't even make up its mind what message it wants to convey, aside from the usual "nukes hurt!" and "war is bad" bits of wisdom.

Joel did preach a bit in the opening segments by describing the 50s as "paranoid". Sure, Joel, Americans were just IMAGINING the nuclear threat back then, just as I am hallucinating that cultural Marxism has taken over most of western media, turning half the population into mindless zombies. ” - fedor8
 
48.
Bride of the Monster (1955)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.1/10 X  
A mad doctor attempts to create atomic supermen. (69 mins.)
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 5/5

This Ed Wood anti-classic is perfectly entertaining on its own, so the riffing is just the icing on the cake. Worth just for seeing Bela Lugosi walk around in high platform shoes, not to mention the plethora of other nonsense such as a dumb leading man who's smaller than the damsel-in-distress. The scenes of Tor wrestling him and then the hero running around with a tattered shirt are unique. As always, Ed Wood outdoes himself with the dialogue, which I consider his biggest anti-talent. ” - fedor8
 
49.
Rocketship X-M (1950)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.9/10 X  
An astronaut crew on their way to the Moon are unexpectedly propelled by gravitational forces and end up on Mars instead. (77 mins.)
Director: Kurt Neumann
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

Check your crew's blood-pressure, and off they go into space! The only requirement for a 50s astronaut was that his blood was alright - so perhaps it's little wonder ANYBODY could be hired to fly into space.

The prototype of the dumb 50s B-movie sci-fi flick, complete with ALL of the cliches that come in such a package. ” - fedor8
 
50.
The Creeping Terror (1964 TV Movie)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.1/10 X  
A newlywed sheriff tries to stop a shambling monster that has emerged from a spaceship to eat the citizens of an American town. (75 mins.)
Director: A.J. Nelson
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

The least scary movie monster of all time? Possibly. It is a carpet that moves extremely slowly - yet manages to kill quite a few very very slow-moving humans. Darwin would say it was natural selection: if you can't outrun a carpet, then biology probably doesn't like you. ” - fedor8
 
51.
Track of the Moon Beast (1976)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.2/10 X  
A young man is transformed into a hideous "moon beast" due to a meteor fragment lodged in his body. (90 mins.)
Director: Dick Ashe
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

An apathetic, slow-moving, drowsy flick redeemed somewhat by the fact it was ejected out of some lame writer's derriere in the 70s, my favourite movie decade. The guys do their best to keep it interest with solid riffing but the movie gives so little. The Moon Beast is a boring bloody lizard and he makes an appearance very late into the flick. ” - fedor8
 
52.
The Final Sacrifice (1990 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.4/10 X  
Fleeing from the cult that murdered his father, a teen is aided in his quest to find the lost city of the fabled Ziox by a secretive drifter. (78 mins.)
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 5/5

This movie really grows on you. I didn't think much of either the movie or the riffing, but I find both better on each additional viewing. The Canada jokes are probably best-appreciated by Americans though. You will not believe the wimpy teen they found for the starring role - or the goofy "executioners" chasing him around. ” - fedor8
 
53.
Monster a-Go Go (1965)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.3/10 X  
A space capsule crash-lands on Earth, and the astronaut aboard disappears. Is there a connection between the missing man and the monster roaming the area? (70 mins.)
Director: Bill Rebane
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 2/5

The funniest bit is when Joel and the robots boo the movie's cop-out ending. One of the more tedious flicks, full of amazingly pointless, drawn-out dialogue that is literally about nothing; just imagine a bunch of Sociology professors on a lunch break. Considered by the team to be one of the very worst movies they'd done. Low-budget crap is one thing, but no-budget crap is a whole new level. ” - fedor8
 
54.
Invasion of the Neptune Men (1961)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.0/10 X  
Clumsy invaders from Neptune are thwarted by hero Space Chief and a nondescript group of microshort-wearing Japanese kids. (74 mins.)
Director: Koji Ota
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 5/5

The highlight is an early "battle" between the clumsy aliens and the skinny hero, that looks like a badly choreographed dance number. It's a B&W Japanese flick so expect to be charmed and bewildered. ” - fedor8
 
55.
The Deadly Bees (1966)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.4/10 X  
Trouble strikes when an exhausted pop singer, sent on a vacation to a farm, realizes that the farm's owner grows deadly bees. (84 mins.)
Director: Freddie Francis
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

Considering the average badness of MST3K films, this is almost "A Clockwork Orange" by comparison. One of the least-worst MST3Kified flicks, but by no means good in any way. It's a 60s UK horror flick, and they're very rarely any good. ” - fedor8
 
56.
The Clonus Horror (1979)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.4/10 X  
Politicians scheme to clone themselves, assuring immortal life. (90 mins.)
“ aka "Parts: The Clonus Horror"

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 2/5

Witness an actress without a nose, and other awful-looking cast-members - perhaps cloning is to blame, I don't know. As dumb as it is, TCH is "Star Wars" next to "Future War".

And I don't mean JJ Abrams's bastardized version of "Star Wars", of course. ” - fedor8
 
57.
Revenge of the Creature (1955)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  
Men capture the creature from the Black Lagoon and make him an aquarium attraction, from which he escapes. (82 mins.)
Director: Jack Arnold
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

How to stretch a wafer-thin plot into a feature-film? This is how. This is how to do it and not get away with it. ” - fedor8
 
58.
Agent for H.A.R.M. (1966)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.9/10 X  
Secret agent tries to stop a scientist who has devised a bacterium that devours the body from within. (84 mins.)
Director: Gerd Oswald
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Featuring cinema's only secret agent uglier than the current James Bond, that blond guy with no hair. ” - fedor8
 
59.
Final Justice (1985)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.0/10 X  
Homicidal Sheriff Thomas Jefferson Geronimo is tasked with escorting a mobster to Malta; when the prisoner escapes, Geronimo goes rogue to catch him. (90 mins.)
Director: Greydon Clark
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

For fans of "Mitchell", a must. ” - fedor8
 
60.
The Sinister Urge (1960)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.3/10 X  
A flunky for a porno movie ring starts murdering the smut films' lead actresses. (71 mins.)
Director: E.D. Wood
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

Ed Wood's take on the porn industry. A must-see. You will never see a more cute take on the porn scene. Funnily enough, Ed Wood did actual porn later on. ” - fedor8
 
61.
The Human Duplicators (1965)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.7/10 X  
An alien is dispatched from a faraway galaxy to take over the Earth by "duplicating" humans and creating... (100 mins.)
Director: Hugo Grimaldi
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Hire a huge guy to scare the kiddies with - and then let him talk in an affected manner that totally neutralizes his appearance. Whoever told (or allowed) Richard Kiel to talk this way is an utter fool. ” - fedor8
 
62.
Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues (1984)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.3/10 X  
A professor and three of his students camp out in the wilderness to find a Bigfoot-type creature. (91 mins.)
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

A fairly dim-witted college professor (listen to how he retorts to a bunch of rednecks mocking him) wears very small, tight shorts, and doesn't even try to have sex with either of the college girls he brings along for a picnic. He does however look for Big Foot. ” - fedor8
 
63.
The Amazing Colossal Man (1957)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.2/10 X  
Lt. Col. Glenn Manning is inadvertently exposed to a plutonium bomb blast at Camp Desert Rock. Though burned over 90% of his body... (80 mins.)
Director: Bert I. Gordon
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5 ” - fedor8
 
64.
The Dead Talk Back (1993 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.7/10 X  
A psychic researcher attempts to solve a murder by using a radio that enables him to speak with the dead. (65 mins.)
Director: Merle S. Gould
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 2/5 ” - fedor8
 
65.
Radar Secret Service (1950)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.8/10 X  
G-men track stolen Uranium-238 shipment using new radar technology; they also recruit the girlfriend of a gang member as an informant... (59 mins.)
Director: Sam Newfield
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 1/5 ” - fedor8
 
66.
Gamera tai Shinkai kaijû Jigura (1971)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.1/10 X  
Space aliens arrive on Earth with their giant shark and intend to take over the planet but they must first destroy Gamera. (87 mins.)
Director: Noriaki Yuasa
“ aka "Gamera vs. Zigra"

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

Colourful, fun Japanese kitsch. ” - fedor8
 
67.
Zombie Nightmare (1987)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.3/10 X  
After a young man is killed by a gang of rampant teenagers, he is resurrected by a voodoo priestess so he can avenge his death. (89 mins.)
Director: Jack Bravman
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5 ” - fedor8
 
68.
Moon Zero Two (1969)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.2/10 X  
A space salvage expert and his partner become involved with a group of criminals intent on hijacking... (100 mins.)
Director: Roy Ward Baker
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Easily the winner of the WORST MST3K SOUNDTRACK. In fact, this swinging-60s space western might just have the worst soundtrack of any movie from that decade. The obnoxious jazz trumpets will have your head spinning quicker than the dumbest plot-twist in "The Butterfly Effect".
Suitably, the best riffs center around the amazingly awful, un-space-like music which must be played by a free-jazz band working at the very lowest level of Gahannah, under strict orders from Satan himself to compose only the purest of garbage.

The commentary is surprisingly good, given that this is a Season 1 episode. The movie itself would have been a LOT less bad if a proper soundtrack had been applied to it. ” - fedor8
 
69.
Tormented (1960)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.1/10 X  
A man lets a former flame fall to her death rather than let her interfere with his new relationship, but her ghost returns to disrupt his impending nuptials. (75 mins.)
Director: Bert I. Gordon
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5 ” - fedor8
 
70.
Indestructible Man (1956)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.7/10 X  
Charles "The Butcher" Benton, a brutal death row inmate gets double-crossed by his crooked lawyer. He gets his chance for revenge when, after he's been executed, a bizarre experiment brings him back to life and more deadly than ever. (72 mins.)
Director: Jack Pollexfen
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5 ” - fedor8
 
71.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988 TV Series)
Episode: Master Ninja I (1992)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.2/10 X  
The crew watch a ninja and a drifter save an airport from thugs in "Master Ninja I" while building a model muscle car and experimenting with their ninja skills. (92 mins.)
Director: Joel Hodgson
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

Believe it or not, the short guy who becomes a Ninja in just a few days went on to direct many episodes of "The Sopranos". Perhaps anybody CAN direct, after all? ” - fedor8
 
72.
Time Walker (1982)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.0/10 X  
An alien, buried in King Tut's tomb, terrorizes a college campus. (83 mins.)
Director: Tom Kennedy
“ aka "Being from Another Planet"

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

A college professor has an affair with a blond student while trying to prevent all of the Mummy's corpse being stolen by various kids. About 0.1% of this movie consists of action scenes. ” - fedor8
 
73.
The Stranger (1973 TV Movie)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.4/10 X  
TV series pilot (series never launched). After a freak mishap, an astronaut finds himself on an almost... (100 mins.)
Director: Lee H. Katzin
“ aka "Stranded In Space"

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5 ” - fedor8
 
74.
Teenagers from Outer Space (1959)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.6/10 X  
A young alien (David Love) falls for a pretty teenage Earth girl (Dawn Anderson) and they team up to try to stop the plans of his invading cohorts... (86 mins.)
Director: Tom Graeff
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5 ” - fedor8
 
75.
Devil Doll (1964)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.9/10 X  
An evil hyponotist/ventriloquist plots to gain an heiress' millions. (81 mins.)
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5 ” - fedor8
 
76.
Time Chasers (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.3/10 X  
An inventor comes up with a time machine, but must prevent its abuse at the hands of an evil C.E.O. (89 mins.)
Director: David Giancola
“ aka "Time Chasers"

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5 ” - fedor8
 
77.
The Spider (1958)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.1/10 X  
Teenagers from a rural community and their high school science teacher join forces to battle a giant mutant spider. (73 mins.)
Director: Bert I. Gordon
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Spiders spread terror in a small community when they start walking all over postcards. Classic Z-movie stuff. ” - fedor8
 
78.
Extra Terrestrial Visitors (1983)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.1/10 X  
A young boy in the woods discovers a lovable alien...or is it? (80 mins.)
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

This episode is almost ruined by the constant repetition of an obscure "McCloud!" gag. Often less is more, the guys should have known that. Still, a lot of the other riffs are quite good, and the movie has a unique badness. ” - fedor8
 
79.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988 TV Series)
Episode: Master Ninja II (1992)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.7/10 X  
Joel and the 'bots endure two equally bad episodes from the failed action series The Master. (92 mins.)
Director: Joel Hodgson
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

Even though it's not some obscure $5 movie made by unemployed film-makers but is part of a TV series, the first episode has one of the dumbest plot-lines in MST3K history. And one of the most, how shall we say, unappealing leading actresses in the history of cinema. The strong left-wing slant of MN2 only makes this episode even more fun - the whole worker's union subplot is a hoot. In this world, unions are run by selfless, noble idealists whereas the management functions much like the triads - complete with their own ninjas! I did tell you this was one of the dumbest things ever made.

Van Patten's kid is as strong an argument against nepotism as any. He is sort of like the original James Caan kid: very short, baby-faced, with a large head, and of course no talent. ” - fedor8
 
80.
Project Moon Base (1953)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.8/10 X  
A saboteur posing as a scientist strives to destroy the world's first space station. (63 mins.)
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

Compared to other such flicks of the era, there is a surprising amount of real science. Of course, it's all very relative coz any movie can have more science than a typical 50s flick. But just as you thought the movie might be slightly less moronic than the standard fare, you get the movie's equivalent of NASA - the often ridiculed SPACOM - telling the stranded Moon couple to marry, because living together - even on the Moon - even for a week was unacceptable in the 50s. Nevermind the oxygen, or the food supplies - we gotta get those two a ring! The movie drags a bit at the outset, with the usual wooden figurines belting out stilted dialog, but eventually the cheese starts to melt, and the riffing is very solid. ” - fedor8
 
81.
Squirm (1976)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.5/10 X  
A storm causes some power lines to break and touch the ground, drawing millions of man-eating worms out of the earth, and into town where they quickly start munching on the locals. (92 mins.)
Director: Jeff Lieberman
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 2/5

A solid episode, very popular for its redneck jokes. Unfortunately, redneck jokes don't do it for me that often, probably because they're too easy and obvious. ” - fedor8
 
82.
The Skydivers (1963)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.9/10 X  
A woman seeks revenge on her former lover, who owns a skydiving business. (75 mins.)
Director: Coleman Francis
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

I've seen this Coleman Francis episode several times, and still haven't discerned a comprehensible plot. Not quite as fun as the other three CF flicks but quite solid. ” - fedor8
 
83.
War of the Colossal Beast (1958)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.3/10 X  
Glenn Manning, "The Amazing Colosasal Man," believed dead after falling from the Hoover Dam, reemerges in rural Mexico, brain damaged, disfigured, and very hungry. (69 mins.)
Director: Bert I. Gordon
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5 ” - fedor8
 
84.
The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent (1957)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.8/10 X  
A group of lonely Viking women build a ship and set off across the sea to locate their missing menfolk... (66 mins.)
Director: Roger Corman
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

The title promises - and it delivers: crap. Roger Corman possibly at the height of his creative power. ” - fedor8
 
85.
Gor II (1988)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.0/10 X  
An Earthman returns to the planet Gor, and fights against tyranny. (89 mins.)
“ aka "Outlaw" or "Outlaw Of Gor"

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

The smelly hands of dilettantes can be found all over this amazingly inept Z-movie, starting from the moronic plot-twists, moronic characters, and moronic costumes all the way to action sequences so badly choreographed they might rank this turkey in the TOP 5 MOST AWFUL MST3K FIGHT SCENES.

The Evil Bitch Queen - or "bitch in heat" as Jack Palance calls her - is such a bad mastermind coup-maker that one has to wonder just how stupid her kingdom's subjects must be to let her get away with it all. She kills two key figures (old geezers) in her kingdom in one day - the second one in front of a dozen witnesses - and then actually stabs Palance, out of the blue, in the gut in front of the ENTIRE populace. So dumb it really has to be seen to be believed. Just minutes later, her "cold-blooded" Bobba-Fett-like mercenary turns on her - for no reason at all - and kills her from a distance with a spear. He then looks on with the face of a man much bewildered. Not as confused as the viewers though.

The riffs are solid, some big laughs, including a real drubbing of Palance who looks positively stupid and embarrassed in his goofy clown costume. Bored, too. His character has nothing to do in the first hour but walk around like a piece of furniture on legs. ” - fedor8
 
86.
Daikaijû Gamera (1965)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.5/10 X  
From out of the arctic comes a gigantic flying, fire-breathing turtle that sets its sights on destroying Tokyo. (78 mins.)
Director: Noriaki Yuasa
“ aka "Gamera"

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

The riffs that focus on the boy's twisted love for the mass-murdering turtle are the best. ” - fedor8
 
87.
Mitchell (1975)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.4/10 X  
A sleazy, incompetent detective tries to simultaneously take down heroin dealers and a socialite who murdered a burglar. (97 mins.)
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5 ” - fedor8
 
88.
Laserblast (1978)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.5/10 X  
A teenager stumbles upon an alien weapon, which transforms him into a grotesque killer. (85 mins.)
Director: Michael Rae
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5 ” - fedor8
 
89.
I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.9/10 X  
A hypnotherapist uses a temperamental teenager as guinea pig for a serum which transforms him into a vicious werewolf. (76 mins.)
Director: Gene Fowler Jr.
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 2/5

Not to be missed: the milk-throwing scene. ” - fedor8
 
90.
Godzilla vs. Megalon (1973)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.5/10 X  
The undersea nation of Seatopia sends the gigantic Megalon to destroy the world above - and it's up to Godzilla and a size-shifting robot, Jet Jaguar, to defeat him. (82 mins.)
Director: Jun Fukuda
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5 ” - fedor8
 
91.
The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.1/10 X  
A doctor experimenting with transplant techniques keeps his girlfriend's head alive when she is decapitated in a car crash, then goes hunting for a new body. (82 mins.)
Director: Joseph Green
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Starts off with very good riffing, but peters off for quite a while until the ridiculous, entertaining finale. ” - fedor8
 
92.
The Blade Master (1984)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.2/10 X  
Muscle-bound Ator and his mute East Asian sidekick travel from the ends of the earth to save his aged mentor from the evil, mustachioed Zor. (92 mins.)
Director: David Hills
“ aka "Cave Dwellers"

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 2/5 ” - fedor8
 
93.
Zaat (1971)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.5/10 X  
A mad scientist transforms himself into an aquatic killer. (100 mins.)
Director: Don Barton
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

Some pretty awful acting (the black guy seems almost BORED while he's being attacked by Fishguy), endless padded scenes, bizarre narration that kind of peters out without explanation, vapid and boring dialog, and a plot as thin as a Zambian ice-sheet: monster shows up, monster kills human. Repeat over and over. Visually the movie has a nice 70s feel to it, but that's its only good side, and it was hardly intentional. Especially dumb is the last third when it's not so much a case of *beep* hitting the fan as it's dumb *beep* hitting the movie fan. ” - fedor8
 
94.
Terror from the Year 5000 (1958)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.5/10 X  
Prof. Erling and his financial backer Victor build a prototype time machine to snatch objects from the past... (66 mins.)
“ Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 2/5 ” - fedor8
 
95.
Robot Monster (1953)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.9/10 X  
The monstrous Ro-Man attempts to annihilate the last family alive on Earth, but finds himself falling for their beautiful daughter. (66 mins.)
Director: Phil Tucker
“ Riffing: 2/5

Movie: 5/5

I have seen this movie a dozen times. And that's WITHOUT the riffing. Unfortunately, they mocked this wonderful anti-classic during the 1st season which is the worst season by far. There are some good laughs, but far too few, especially for something as ultra-cheesy as this amazing piece of crap. ” - fedor8
 
96.
Gamera vs. Guiron (1969)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.8/10 X  
Aliens kidnap two children and take them to another planet for the purpose of getting knowledge from their brains, but Gamera follows and tries to rescue them. (82 mins.)
Director: Noriaki Yuasa
“ Riffing: 2/5

Movie: 5/5

Features possibly the most bizarre-looking MST3K alien planet. I love that bit. ” - fedor8
 
97.
Star Force: Fugitive Alien II (1987 TV Movie)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.8/10 X  
In this second film compiled from two episodes of a Japanese TV serial, Captain Joe, reformed interstellar... (75 mins.)
“ Riffing: 2/5

Movie: 4/5 ” - fedor8
 
98.
Gorgo (1961)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
Greedy sailors capture a giant lizard off the coast of Ireland and sell it to a London circus. Then its mother shows up. (78 mins.)
Director: Eugene Lourie
“ Riffing: 2/5

Movie: 4/5

Season 9 is generally very good, so I was surprised how they managed to not deliver too well on this flick full of potential. ” - fedor8
 
99.
The Magic Sword (1962)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.2/10 X  
The son of a sorceress, armed with weapons, armour and six magically summoned knights, embarks on a quest to save a princess from a vengeful wizard. (80 mins.)
Director: Bert I. Gordon
“ Riffing: 2/5

Movie: 4/5

Visually quite nice; even Joel makes a comment at one point stating that this flick isn't too bad. Estelle Winwood will confuse many guys; she has the face of a 90 year-old, the body of a 26 year-old. ” - fedor8
 
100.
Devil Fish (1984)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.4/10 X  
A marine biologist, a dolphin trainer, a research scientist, and a local sheriff try to hunt down a large sea monster, a shark/octopus hybrid, that is devouring swimmers and fishermen off a south Florida coast. (90 mins.)
Director: John Old Jr.
“ Riffing: 2/5

Movie: 4/5

Some of the riffs are quite awful, but a few good ones - and the stupid movie - make this episode fun. The WORST-EDITED MST3K film? Possibly. ” - fedor8