Bond Film Rankings: The Jig's Up Bloefeldt

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1.
Goldfinger (1964)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.8/10 X  
Investigating a gold magnate's smuggling, James Bond uncovers a plot to contaminate the Fort Knox gold reserve. (110 mins.)
Director: Guy Hamilton
“ He loves gold! This is the Bond film that has it all, orchestrates it perfectly and set the tone and conventions for the entire series. ” - Brett66
 
2.
From Russia with Love (1963)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.5/10 X  
James Bond willingly falls into an assassination ploy involving a naive Russian beauty in order to retrieve a Soviet encryption device that was stolen by SPECTRE. (115 mins.)
Director: Terence Young
“ Classy, simple, elegant, to the point. No camp, no gimmicks... just a badass rival agent on Bond's trail. My personal favorite. ” - Brett66
 
3.
Casino Royale (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.0/10 X  
Armed with a licence to kill, Secret Agent James Bond sets out on his first mission as 007 and must defeat a weapons dealer in a high stakes game of poker at Casino Royale, but things are not what they seem. (144 mins.)
Director: Martin Campbell
“ Bond is back and he's going to tear your head off. Miraculously brings 007 back to reality after the pain inducing "Die Another Day". That cat Craig is a bad mother... shutcho mouth!
Will Bond foil Le Chifre's plans, will he rock Vesper's world? I haven't been this curious to find out in years! ” - Brett66
 
4.
Dr. No (1962)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.3/10 X  
A resourceful British government agent seeks answers in a case involving the disappearance of a colleague and the disruption of the American space program. (110 mins.)
Director: Terence Young
“ The first, a classic. Connery was young and vibrant, the sixties were in full swing, giant mechanical dragon machines... good stuff. ” - Brett66
 
5.
GoldenEye (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  
James Bond teams up with the lone survivor of a destroyed Russian research center to stop the hijacking of a nuclear space weapon by a fellow agent formerly believed to be dead. (130 mins.)
Director: Martin Campbell
 
6.
On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.8/10 X  
James Bond woos a mob boss's daughter and goes undercover to uncover the true reason for Blofeld's allergy research in the Swiss Alps that involves beautiful women from around the world. (142 mins.)
Director: Peter Hunt
 
7.
Thunderball (1965)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
James Bond heads to The Bahamas to recover two nuclear warheads stolen by SPECTRE agent Emilio Largo in an international extortion scheme. (130 mins.)
Director: Terence Young
 
8.
You Only Live Twice (1967)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.9/10 X  
Agent 007 and the Japanese secret service ninja force must find and stop the true culprit of a series of spacejackings before nuclear war is provoked. (117 mins.)
Director: Lewis Gilbert
 
9.
Live and Let Die (1973)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.8/10 X  
007 is sent to stop a diabolically brilliant heroin magnate armed with a complex organization and a reliable psychic tarot card reader. (121 mins.)
Director: Guy Hamilton
 
10.
Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.7/10 X  
A diamond smuggling investigation leads James Bond to Las Vegas, where he uncovers an evil plot involving a rich business tycoon. (120 mins.)
Director: Guy Hamilton
 
11.
The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.1/10 X  
James Bond investigates the hijacking of British and Russian submarines carrying nuclear warheads with the help of a KGB agent whose lover he killed. (125 mins.)
Director: Lewis Gilbert
“ It's the wacky, odd couple story, spy style! Add in the most predictable, sea based 'hold the world for hostage' plot and you've got the comfort food version of a Bond film. ” - Brett66
 
12.
For Your Eyes Only (1981)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.8/10 X  
Agent 007 is assigned to hunt for a lost British encryption device and prevent it from falling into enemy hands. (127 mins.)
Director: John Glen
“ I think people think this is better than it actually is because it's sandwiched between two of the most ridiculous Bond films; Moonraker and Octopussy, making this relatively normal outing seem brilliant by comparison. Lest we forget...

1. FIGURE SKATING.
2. Evil hockey players.
3. Blofeldt falling from a helicopter into a chimney (while in a wheelchair).
4. The super awesome "attack of the dune buggies" scene.
5. Comic relief parrot.
6. Comic relief Margaret Thatcher. ” - Brett66
 
13.
Octopussy (1983)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
A fake Fabergé egg and a fellow agent's death lead James Bond to uncover an international jewel-smuggling operation, headed by the mysterious Octopussy, being used to disguise a nuclear attack on N.A.T.O. forces. (131 mins.)
Director: John Glen
“ Nothing about the plot of this film comes anywhere close to making even the remotest of sense. My best guess is that three failed Bond scripts were sandwiched together at the last minute to create this massacre.
John Glen: "As long as we keep the picture moving at a frantic pace people won't have time to stop and ask questions like 'who's this guy and why is he doing stuff?' So let's go with it! Oh, and I just got back from space, bitches. ACTION!"
A crazy Russian general apparently needs a Faberge egg to complete his nuclear device, and a circus to deliver it to the American base? Octopussy happens to have both and yet we're supposed to believe she has no idea that she's being used by Kamal? Yyyeah, ok. No.
Anyway, I can't really hate on this one too much. Sure it's very, very stupid, and implausible, but it's basically 007's Big Adventure... Bond just wants his "bike" back, so sit back and enjoy the pointless eye candy. ” - Brett66
 
14.
Quantum of Solace (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
James Bond descends into mystery as he tries to stop a mysterious organization from eliminating a country's most valuable resource. All the while, he still tries to seek revenge over the death of his love. (106 mins.)
Director: Marc Forster
“ I needed some solace and a quantum of vodka after this slightly disappointing sequel, which proved that Bond shouldn't have direct sequels. ” - Brett66
 
15.
The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.8/10 X  
James Bond is led to believe that he is targeted by the world's most expensive assassin while he attempts to recover sensitive solar cell technology that is being sold to the highest bidder. (125 mins.)
Director: Guy Hamilton
“ I like this film, don't ask me why, I just do. It's sort of like a bizarro world version of From Russia With Love. Scalamanga wants desperately to make love to, I mean kill, Bond with his magical golden gun. The little weird guy from Fantasy Island imps around as his go-fer. And who doesn't love Ms. Goodnight? A travesty to women's equality who bimbos joyfully and clueslessly until the final frame.
And finally, let's not forget the comic relief, country cracker, sheriff tourist guy whose badly dubbed voice spouts America-centric one liners at all the "pointy heads". ” - Brett66
 
16.
The Living Daylights (1987)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.7/10 X  
James Bond is living on the edge to stop an evil arms dealer from starting another world war. Bond crosses all seven continents in order to stop the evil Whitaker and General Koskov. (130 mins.)
Director: John Glen
“ Taaaake oooooooon meeee... I mean... the li-ving-day-lights!
Oh Timothy Dalton, you were such an awkward, creepy Bond. Women would sleep with you not so much because of your charm but because their vodka martinis were roofied, not stirred.. On the plus side he makes Daniel Craig seem like frickin' Santa Claus.
So whatta we got here... a boring bond, a boring and naive bond girl. Joe Don Baker. Despite these vast shortcomings Living Daylights is actually pretty interesting. Just imagine Raiders of the Lost Ark with Harrison Ford and Karen Allen digitally erased. ” - Brett66
 
17.
Licence to Kill (1989)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
James Bond goes rogue and sets off to unleash vengeance on a drug lord who tortured his best friend, a C.I.A. agent, and left him for dead and murdered his bride after he helped capture him. (133 mins.)
Director: John Glen
“ Pretty good film, actually... if it weren't for the pointlessly over-the-top ending. Explores some of the darker revenge themes that have been attempted in other Bond films like Diamonds (very cheesily) and Quantum (not very interesting-ly). I think it works better in Licence to Kill because of the investment, seriously, dude, Felix Leiter gets his leg bitten off by a shark. And his wife beaten, raped and killed.
Yeah, and Wayne Newton is also in this movie.
And Q finally gets some field action, although it's awfully reminiscent of when Alfred drives Robin around on surveillance in the Batman TV show. ” - Brett66
 
18.
Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
James Bond heads to stop a media mogul's plan to induce war between China and the UK in order to obtain exclusive global media coverage. (119 mins.)
 
19.
The World Is Not Enough (1999)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
James Bond uncovers a nuclear plot when he protects an oil heiress from her former kidnapper, an international terrorist who can't feel pain. (128 mins.)
Director: Michael Apted
“ Great opening scene... crappy movie. Honestly, it's hard for a film to recover after a line like "are you here for a reason or do you just want a glimmer?"
Yikes. ” - Brett66
 
20.
Never Say Never Again (1983)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  
A SPECTRE agent has stolen two American nuclear warheads, and James Bond must find their targets before they are detonated. (134 mins.)
Director: Irvin Kershner
“ I like the scene where people at a high class social gathering are playing video games. Oh, and then Bond faces off with Largo on a game of missile command... BAH-DAT-DA-DAAAAAAH!
Would actually be a slightly above average bond film if the last twenty minutes and the score weren't a total snoozefest. ” - Brett66
 
21.
A View to a Kill (1985)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
An investigation of a horse-racing scam leads 007 to a mad industrialist who plans to create a worldwide microchip monopoly by destroying California's Silicon Valley. (131 mins.)
Director: John Glen
“ James Bond XIV: The Undiscovered Country ” - Brett66
 
22.
Moonraker (1979)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
James Bond investigates the mid-air theft of a space shuttle and discovers a plot to commit global genocide. (126 mins.)
Director: Lewis Gilbert
“ James Bond... IN SPAAAAAAACE! What could possibly be wrong about that concept? I always wanted to see Bond in Middle Earth, I can dream, cannot I? ” - Brett66
 
23.
Die Another Day (2002)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
James Bond is sent to investigate the connection between a North Korean terrorist and a diamond mogul who is funding the development of an international space weapon. (133 mins.)
Director: Lee Tamahori
“ Not stupid enough to be fun, and too stupid to be believable. About as bad as it gets for Bond. ” - Brett66