My 14 Least Favourite Films

Here I list films that keeps rubbing me the wrong way whenever I watch them (some I wouldn't even watch if it so kept me alive). This list has nothing to do with how the films were crafted (some movies are so poorly made that they're too entertaining to despise, for example). The sentence "least favourite" is subjective so I wouldn't be surprised if you found some films you happened to like here, if so I congrulate you in finding something positive in the film I couldn't find.

Almost all films on this list are from at least the 2000s since I haven't really seen much older stuff that really rubs me the wrong way. I'm not a guy that looks for all-time stinkers like Mac & Me or Troll 2.
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1.
Disaster Movie (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.9/10 X  
Over the course of one evening, an unsuspecting group of twenty-somethings find themselves bombarded by a series of natural disasters and catastrophic events. (87 mins.)
“ Date Movie was bad, Meet The Spartans was bad, Epic Movie was horrendous, but these 87 minutes from hell itself makes them look like renaissance masterpieces in comparasion. This movie doesn't really seem to have any idea on what it wants to spoof. It calls itself "Disaster Movie" but we only get one painful joke after another about the major blockbusters from the past nine months (The only disaster film the movie seemingly cared about spoofing was "Twister", but that was only brief and was the same repeated nonsensical joke with the twister beating up superhero characters with a cow). Some of the movies spoofed in this film weren't even out in cinemas when the trailer to this abomination of crap was released! I feel ashamed for even taking the time to pirate this film and the filmmakers should be ashamed for even conceiving this poopfest, but ovbiously they're not and thus we got "Vampires Suck" two years later. Go f@ck yourselves, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer! ” - Cooki3
 
2.
The Last Airbender (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.2/10 X  
Follows the adventures of Aang, a young successor to a long line of Avatars, who must master all four elements and stop the Fire Nation from enslaving the Water Tribes and the Earth Kingdom. (103 mins.)
“ It's incredible how much this movie got messed up. I still can't believe not one human being took a decent look at the film and knew something was horrendously off. M. Night Shyamalan claims to have watched the modern classic cartoon series this was based on, but the film feels more like it was made out of a Wikipedia description and some IMDB quotes. The script is awful, the acting is awful, the direction is awful, the visuals are unappealing at times and the fact that they crammed Book One into 100 minutes is beyond bafflement. Shyamalan, ask yourself, how did you go from The Sixth Sense to...ugh...THIS?! ” - Cooki3
 
3.
Battle Los Angeles (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
A squadron of U.S. Marines becomes the last line of defense against a global invasion. (116 mins.)
“ Before this film was even released, I knew it was going to suck. It had the name "Jonathan Liebesman" on it, one of the worst directors in the business (for your information, he directed Darkness Falls and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre-The Beginning). However, there seemed to be so many people who thought it was going to be a cool movie because the trailer was "OMFG AWESOME" or some stuff like that. IMO the trailers didn't really hide much that it was going to suck, and as it turns out, I was right.

The movie is a complete bore. It's pretty much a video game in movie form...A brain-dead video game for that matter. The characters are so bland you could replace them with stick figures and they wouldn't feel any more wooden, heck that might have been an improvement. Usually Aaron Eckhart makes a good performance but here you can see that he's so bored out of his freakin' mind because the script is totally worthless and gives him nothing to work with. The visuals end up being a mixed result and the editing and camera work is as lousy as it can get.

Moral of the story? Don't get fooled by the trailers, do like I did and make sure the film actually has something going for it, which Battle: Los Angeles obviously lacked. ” - Cooki3
 
4.
Super Mario Bros. (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.0/10 X  
Two Brooklyn plumbers, Mario and Luigi, must travel to another dimension to rescue a princess from the evil dictator King Koopa and stop him from taking over the world. (104 mins.)
“ To be fair, the movie itself is a complete cheesefest that does manage to squeal some small amounts of entertainment out of it, and Bob Hoskins is always a pleasure (even though he himself hated the entire project). The fact that one of my favourite actors have played one of my favourite fictional characters does get a smile out of me. But I wasn't listing any films here based on craftmanship (though the earlier films mentioned are horrendous in almost every way). I despise this film because it took one of my favourite franchises of all time (actually, it might be my favourite) and took a crap all over it. What in the holy mother of Jesus were they thinking?! Leguizamo is unbelievably miscast as Luigi. Seriously, could you actually believe a 51-year old white man and a 29-year old latino (that was how old they were when the film was released) were brothers at any point during the film? Hoskins is old enough to be Leguizamo's adoptive dad! Not only that, but they're supposed to be Italian Americans! The film invents it's own world I'd like to call Dinosaur World, which somehow manages make even less sense than the Mushroom Kingdom in the games! Dinosaurs evolving into humans? What the hell? Then there's alot of bullcrap about crystals and fungus and the film's mythology spirals out of control almost instantly. It's like the whole film was written by a five-year old...a dumb five-year old. The incredible thing is that this isn't some direct-to-DVD film nobody has ever heard of. No, this was supposed to be a summer blockbuster and even had academy-award nominated Roland Joffé as uncredited director, one of the writers from the Bill & Ted movies and the holy man himself (creator of the Mario franchise) Shigeru Miyamato as a creative consultant! It even went up against Jurassic Park for christ sake! What a disgrace to the greatest video game franchise of all time. ” - Cooki3
 
5.
Southland Tales (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  
During a three day heat wave just before a huge 4th of July celebration, an action star stricken with amnesia meets up with a porn star who is developing her own reality TV project, and a policeman who holds the key to a vast conspiracy. (145 mins.)
Director: Richard Kelly
“ It's one of those movies I'm not even sure why I despise it so much...okay, maybe I know, but what I hate about this film is a lot less obvious than some other films I despise. It's so frustrating to watch and the plot is just an incoherent mess. That's really all I can say about it.

For your interest I haven't seen Richard Kelly's most famous work Donnie Darko. It's on my watch list but I've never had the luck in finding it. ” - Cooki3
 
6.
Epic Movie (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.3/10 X  
A comedic satire of films that are large in scope, reputation and popularity. (86 mins.)
“ I've already expressed my hate for the filmmakers earlier with Disaster Movie so I don't have to go any further here. It's laughless crap, even though it's pure gold compared to Disaster Movie. ” - Cooki3
 
7.
Perfect Stranger (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.7/10 X  
A journalist goes undercover to ferret out businessman Harrison Hill as her childhood friend's killer. Posing as one of his temps, she enters into a game of online cat-and-mouse. (109 mins.)
Director: James Foley
“ The hate here is more aimed at the film's ending than anything else. Here we have a plot twist that's supposed to blow peoples' minds and make them say "OMFG how did I miss that?!" but in order to make a good plot twist you need two things. One, the twist is supposed to turn the entire film on it's head and two, it has to add up. Perfect Stranger does suceed at the first ingredient, but the results is mass confusion and disgust since the second ingredient is completely absent. If you've seen this film in it's entirety, you definetly know what plot twist I'm talking about. ” - Cooki3
 
8.
Hancock (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
Hancock is a superhero whose ill considered behavior regularly causes damage in the millions. He changes when the person he saves helps him improve his public image. (92 mins.)
Director: Peter Berg
“ Normally a sequel is where the ultimate fall of grace occurs, but this happens to be one of those movies that has such an awful range of quality within the same movie. The first half is actually pretty decent. The idea of a trashed super-"hero" that needs to regain public faith is actually a great setup for an answer to the question of what actually makes you a superhero, plus alot of fun. Then our main character puts himself in jail, which is a questionable move of recovery but magically works, and thus he later saves the day and people look up to him again. This is where something suddenly went horribly wrong. The second half doesn't even feel like I'm watching the same movie. There's one illogical twist after another that throws every thing the first half tried to build up out of the window. Half of those twists have zero logic in basis and seem to work on pure magic. Not to mention the ending is also quite disappointing. It's like they made a script for a sequel but crammed it into the second half of the first film as if they fear another one wouldn't be made. Thus, both parts suffer badly. If they utilized the good story set up in the first half instead of creating a new terrible one halfway through this could have been a good film. Not perfect, but far from terrible. But instead I got crap. ” - Cooki3
 
9.
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  
A strange black entity from another world bonds with Peter Parker and causes inner turmoil as he contends with new villains, temptations, and revenge. (139 mins.)
Director: Sam Raimi
“ Again, it's one of those films that do have entertaining factors but as I said in the post about the Super Mario Bros movie...well, you know. The main thing is that it's a tremendous step down from the peak of the franchise Spider-Man 2. Venom is an afterthought, thrown in at the last minute to wrap up the symbiote storyline. The whole "emo Peter dance" was amazingly embarrasing both for the people involved and the audience watching it, not to mention that emo Peter was already ridicolous enough. There's also a whole lot of pointless plot points that go nowhere and dissapear almost instantly such as the Peter/Gwen relationship (it's supposed to be a major plot point but the two characters are just flirting around and the whole thing is thrown out of the window right after that humiliating dance scene) and there's alot of things that doesn't make sense (Mary Jane, so you were threatened by Harry to break up with Peter. Why didn't you just quietly tell that to Peter or give a hint so he can whoop Harry's @$$? Did you forget that he was freakin' Spiderman, you dumb bimbo?!). However, nothing makes me as angry as the plot point where Sandman turns out to be the murderer of Peter's uncle. Not only doesn't it make any sense, but the first film went well underway to establish that random carjacker was the killer. No hints during both of the earlier films were given that someone else actually comitted the crime. The film turns the entire franchise on it's head but doesn't make sure any of it adds up. What a shameful follow-up to one of the best superhero films out there. ” - Cooki3
 
10.
Pearl Harbor (2001)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
A tale of war and romance mixed in with history. The story follows two lifelong friends and a beautiful nurse who are caught up in the horror of an infamous Sunday morning in 1941. (183 mins.)
Director: Michael Bay
“ Transformers was great entertainment (in my opinion) and believe it or not I did find Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen quite entertaining as well. Say what you want about them, but they succeded in delivering what they promised to me and thus I can't blame them. A Micheal Bay movie I think everybody could bash instead is this film.

Why? It's pretty much an obvious cash-in on Titanic. You got the cheesy script, the ridiculous creative liberties and a romance set in the backdrop of one of the biggest catastrophies in U.S history (Okay, Titanic was more of a british tragedy than a U.S tragedy but you get my point). Even the title's of the two are similar. Both use the most common phrase referred to the respective event to make it more recognizable to audiences. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. For one thing I hate Josh Hartnett with a passion, so that's a minus. All three leads are mediocre at the very best and the dialouge ain't helping in the slightest. However, the worst part is the plot itself. It's a continous repeat of the same annoying romantic dilemma with an annoying love triangle carried out by our annoying leads, and it goes on for THREE HOURS! The action was fun...at first, but overstayed it's welcome. The Pearl Harbor attack had good effects and explosions but lasted forever. I think a whole hour was spent on just that alone. It's a movie that I think could easily be cut down because there's nothing that made me believe it had enough substance to make a 183 minute running time. ” - Cooki3
 
11.
All About Steve (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.8/10 X  
Convinced that a CCN cameraman is her true love, an eccentric crossword puzzler trails him as he travels all over the country, hoping to convince him that they belong together. (99 mins.)
Director: Phil Traill
“ Where's the comedy? I was close to turning the screen off twenty minutes in because there didn't seem to be any jokes in this so-called "comedy". Instead we just get one awkward moment after another with one of the most disturbing female characters ever concieved. Why did you agree to this, Bullock? You were having such a great year. ” - Cooki3
 
12.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
Three film students vanish after traveling into a Maryland forest to film a documentary on the local Blair Witch legend, leaving only their footage behind. (81 mins.)
“ The cinematic equivalent of those Youtube "ghost" videos. The cameraman goes all "OMFG I saw something over there AAAAAARGH!!!!" and makes sure you never get to see what they're looking at because there's so obviously nothing there. The acting is good, but the film isn't scary what-so-ever. It's a scam that managed to scare allot of people, but when it's not scary it has almost zero going for it. ” - Cooki3
 
13.
Year One (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.9/10 X  
After being banished from their tribe, two hunter-gatherers encounter Biblical characters and eventually wind up in the city of Sodom. (97 mins.)
Director: Harold Ramis
“ Amounts of funny jokes in this movie? One.

Pretty much summed the film up there. You think that with all the talent involved it would have been funny, but nope. Tough luck. ” - Cooki3
 
14.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
Before being sent to serve in Vietnam, two brothers and their girlfriends take one last road trip, but when they get into an accident, a terrifying experience will take them to a secluded house of horrors, with a chainsaw-wielding killer. (91 mins.)
“ For a movie called The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: THE BEGINNING, it's pretty much the same exact thing as the 2003 remake that came before it. Only with crappier actors. How can you even call this pointless film a prequel? ” - Cooki3