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1-4 of 4
- Washingtonian Rowland Stone, who is in love with Anna Mae Byrd, lives in the family mansion awaiting his 25th birthday when he is to inherit his father's fortune. His Negro friend, Thomas Snow, hocks furniture to pay the bills and help him keep up appearances. Enrico de Castanet arrives from the country of Bunkonia in the "Pyranees," accompanied by the international vamp and spy, Countess de Plotz, in hopes of attracting a pliable American consul who will not interfere with their revolutionary plot; Colonel Byrd is appointed. Rowland discovers that his inheritance is merely a job with his father's insurance company and that he is obligated not to lose any of the company's money. Arriving in Bunkonia, he is persuaded by the conspirators to insure the lives of the drunken king and council, whom they plan to assassinate. Rowland finds himself in the position of protector to royalty, and, after many exciting adventures, he saves the country and wins Anna Mae and his inheritance.
- A patriotic but short American man tries without luck to qualify for the Army, but can't get in until a knock on the head raises a lump high enough for him to pass the height requirement. Meanwhile, his lady friend decides to become a Secret Service agent, though she is unable to keep the fact a secret, even from the German spies she hopes to apprehend.
- During World War I, Herr Dresser, a German-American professor from West Hoboken, New Jersey, invents a "mustache fixer," which stiffens the whiskers, making the wearer look very fierce. Much to the consternation of Dresser's daughter Elsie, a patriotic American, Kaiser Wilhelm calls them to Berlin to begin mass production of the tonic for the German army. Elsie's boyfriend, Teddy Swift, is particularly disturbed by this turn of events and decides to earn enough money to follow her to Germany. When the United States joins the war, Teddy is among the first to enlist, and soon he finds himself in Berlin trying to help Elsie escape from prison. After several narrow escapes, the two make their way to the mustache factory and blow it up. Brought before the Kaiser, they are rescued when American troops storm the palace, and the Kaiser loses his mustache and the war.
- In the town of Fremont, janitor Abraham Lincoln Jones is being groomed as the successor to Mayor Joe Bush. The old men who discuss politics in back of Hobart's grocery store like Abe, as does Mary Shelby, whose dress shop carries Vogue magazine and the latest New York City fashions. Feminist Aurora Noyes and her daughter Lotta arrive in town to politicize the women. Abe finds Lotta intellectually stimulating and loses interest in Mary. After war is declared, the eligible men in town enlist, Aurora ousts Joe, then convinces the townswomen to assume men's jobs and wear men's clothes, to the detriment of Mary's business. When Abe returns, he finds that Lotta has replaced him, the old men are doing housework, and the women will not relinquish their jobs or their clothing. He campaigns for mayor against Aurora by showing the townswomen pictures of American boys enjoying the charms of French girls. To win their men back, the women abandon their feminist ideals, patronize Mary's store, and elect Abe, who then weds Mary.