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- Harry Palmer, the well-known war correspondent and newspaper cartoonist, is sent post-haste to Belgium to make a series of sketches of the Siege of Liege. With his assistant he takes ship for Kotteraum, and is there transferred to a small launch which, manned by Belgium peasants, runs up the River Scheldt to Antwerp. There he succeeds in purchasing an airship from the military authorities and flies to the scene of action. This flight is replete with comic, as well as thrilling situations. Bombs burst in the air close to the machine; the cargo is thrown overboard and funny things happen on the ground along the route until the aeroplane finally lands safely on a hilltop overlooking the battlefield and half ruined fortress of Liege. There Mr. Palmer sets up his easel and starts to sketch, but the wear and excitement of the journey have tired him out and he falls asleep at his work. A weird dream occurs to him, and the fanciful and ludicrous things he sees are all set forth in the screamingly funny cartoon picture which follows. The artist is finally awakened by a vigorous slap which he administers to a mosquito which is seen fattening upon his head.
- The new stenographer is right there when it comes to class. Nor does this escape the notice of her boss. He showers attentions upon her and asks her out to the beach with him the following Sunday. She accepts. Sunday comes. He calls for her. She is delighted to go with him. It is perfect day for Mr. Boss. She enters into the spirit of everything and he has things all his own way. She even ignores the glances of other men and when a certain one gets too fresh, the fresh one takes a beating at the hands of the boss. But then the boss wakes up. It was only a dream. When Sunday really does come around and he takes her to the beach, oh, what a difference. Nobody loves a fat old boss.
- Bill Pike, recently married, hits his home town about seven in the evening, and immediately is seized by a bunch of his old cronies who drag him into a hotel to have a game of poker. He protests wildly and at last escapes long enough to phone Dill, his young wife, who is anxiously awaiting his return. "I've missed the 5:15," he wires, "Will be home on the 11 o'clock express tonight." Then Pike goes back to the game. At home, Mrs. Pike fidgets. A telegram arrives, telling her that her brother Steve will be there at 11.30. Steve expresses pleasure at the prospect of meeting Dill's husband. When the friends come out of the hotel, they are a trifle "lit up." A sleeping cabby attracts their sense of humor. Gently lifting the man onto an upturned soap-box, they help themselves to his duster and tall hat. Bill gets into the cabby's regalia, and climbing onto the box, drives off at a smart pace. Brother Steve, coming from the station, hails Bill and his equipage. He piles in and orders himself driven to Bill's home. Pike is a bit confused, but takes his passenger to his own house lickety-split. Steve and Sister Dill fall into one another's arms. Meanwhile, a thief has helped himself to the silver, which he has jammed into a suitcase, and made his escape. As Steve vacates the cab, Raffles jumps in. Pointing a revolver at Bill's head, he orders him to drive at breakneck speed. Dill and Steve pursue the flying cab with cries of "Stop Thief." A mounted policeman at last rounds up the robber. Pike, now completely sobered, restores his turn-out to the cabby, puts on his coat and hat, takes his bag, and goes home. He surprises his wife in the arms of a strange man. The next instant, however, he is warmly shaking the hand of "Brother Steve." The suitcase drops, falls open, and reveals all the family silver. "Yes, a hard battle, but I got it," admits Pike, secretly realizing that the thief must have run off with the wrong bag. Dill throws both arms about her intrepid husband.
- Sam Hubert, a theatrical manager, learns that his greatest rival in the theatrical field has signed up a new and brilliant star, Corinne, the dancer, whom Hubert has never met. He feels that he must do something to counteract this scoop and decides to leave at once for Philadelphia for the purpose of signing up a certain European celebrity who has just arrived from abroad. Accordingly he motors over. Corinne, the dancer, in an early morning country spin, meets with a smashup. She seeks refuge in a little Quaker cottage nearby and is given a Quaker dress and outfit to wear while her own is being repaired. She insists on being allowed to help around the house and starts off for the spring. Hubert, his trip to Philadelphia a failure, is returning. Pretending that his radiator needs water, he hurries to the spring and meets the fair Quakeress. She recognizes Hubert and sees an opportunity for fun and publicity. So she pretends to fall for Hubert when that man makes gallant advances to her and he readily falls into the net she spreads for him. He returns to the cottage, introduced there as Corinne's chauffeur. They decide to elope. She secretly writes a telegram to her husband (the rival theatrical manager) and her press agent, giving them the full details of the affair for publicity purposes. The story is printed in every newspaper in town that night. Eventually Hubert and Corinne arrive at Hubert's theater after an all-night machine ride. The press agent, who has been waiting for them, rushes forward to meet them and hands Hubert a morning paper as he helps Corinne out of the car. Corinne laughingly introduces Hubert to her husband and, as Hubert recovers from the shock, she points to the newspaper and saucily strolls away with her lord and master. Hubert gets shock number two when he reads the article and realizes that he is an "honorary member of the Patsy Club."
- Having decided that his son must '"settle down," John Burns sent George to the home of Jim Perkins, his friend, to meet and marry Mr. Perkins' daughter Nellie. As George alighted from the train he met Lucy, who is also on her way to the Perkins home to visit Nellie. In a short time George has fallen in love and has married Lucy, while Nellie becomes the wife of Jack Sutton. George telegraphs the news of the wedding but fails to mention his bride's name. His father, of course, assumes that daughter-in-law is no other than Nellie. George is in a quandary when he receives a note from his father saying that he has decided to call on the newlyweds. He fears the parental wrath that is sure to come down upon him for marrying another than his father's choice. To help him out of his dilemma he consults Jack, who suggests that they exchange wives until Lucy can win over George's father. Acting upon the suggestion George has Nellie by his side when his father arrives. But the two grooms cannot bear to be separated from their wives and whenever Mr. Burns steps out of sight only to return a moment later he finds his son embracing Lucy, and Nellie entwined in the arms of Jack. Realizing that George's father suspects something unusual in this situation, Lucy tries to win over Mr. Burns before their secret is out. She succeeds so well that Mr. Burns forgets himself so far as to put his arms around her just as Jack, her supposed husband, enters upon the scene. This leads to a perplexing situation, finally culminating in a fistic argument in which every member of the party participates. When the argument seems to have become too merry George steps in, explains everything to his father, who forgives the newlyweds.
- Harry is the proud owner of a barber shop, he also has in his employment a pretty manicurist, who takes the eye of all the gentlemen who come in to be shaved. On one occasion objecting to the manner in which Georgie shows his affections for this manicurist, Harry becomes angry and requests him, by the point of his boot to leave his shop. Great is the fall thereof, but Georgie's heart is gladdened when the manicurist decides to throw in her fate with him, and together they plan a rival shop. The new establishment is placed almost directly opposite Harry's flourishing emporium, but strange to say Harry is no longer busy, as the new shop takes away all his trade. The cause of this is soon evident; he notices that his new rival uses only women barbers, and because of their attractiveness all the men in town frequent the new shop. Although from all outward appearances things look bright and cheery in the new place, it is altogether different within and bedlam prevails. The women barbers insist on being coquettish and the men do not object in the slightest, in fact they prefer it to being shaved, but Georgie has different ideas on the subject and a fight follows. The fun starts, however, when Harry and his assistant, dressed as women and with revenge in their hearts, gain employment in their rival's shop. Their methods of shaving and hair cutting closely resemble those of a sheep clipper, but no objections are made until Harry loses his wig, thereby disclosing his identity. A general riot follows from which Harry and his assistant with the lady barbers and manicurist issue triumphant, leaving Georgie determined that he will never again pin his faith or his hopes for financial success on a woman.
- Father Bunk is a wealthy old fellow who is thoroughly alive to the advantages of riches. He has a very pretty little daughter whom he has decided shall marry no other than a young man of exalted social position. Accordingly, when a count arrives in town Bunk immediately sends an invitation to the nobleman to attend a party in honor of his daughter. Daughter learns of the scheme and asserts herself vehemently that she will marry whom she pleases. Daughter, in preparation for the party, has started on a shopping tour. On the way she is accosted by two ruffians who attempt to snatch her purse. The act is witnessed by young Hardy who rushes to her rescue, driving away the would-be robbers. The meeting is a case of love at first sight. Miss Bunk confides in Harry the intention of her father to marry her to the count. Together they scheme to get rid of the annoying peer. At the party the count is present in all his glory. Harry gains access to the Bunk house garbed in girl's clothing loaned by Miss Bunk, and by posing as a friend of the hostess. His efforts to humiliate the count and cause him to leave the house are somewhat awkward and end in a fistic battle, in the progress of which Harry's wig is torn from his head and his scheme is exposed. Angered at the disturbance created by Harry, Bunk and the count snatch the tormentor by feet and shoulders and throw him through the window. Though bruised and battered, and with the joke on him, Harry appreciates the situation and has a big laugh at his part in it.
- The two Newlyweds from Rubetown come to the city for their honeymoon with quite a fat bank roll. All would have fared well with them if hubby hadn't decided to visit an uncle of his, leaving wifey alone to await his return. A stranded actor has seen the couple and is wondering how to put a dent in that honeymoon roll. Seeing hubby depart, he decides to make his attempt, so, going to wifey's room, he introduces himself as a great actor and proceeds to give her instructions in the histrionic art. So well is she pleased that she gives him about half of the roll as advanced payment for lessons. Slick-Fingered Sue is also out to capture that roll. On the pretense of walking into the wrong room, she starts up a conversation with the wife, claims to be a great actress, starts a demonstration which ends in wifey thinking her even more clever than her previous visitor and offering her the other half of the bankroll as advance payment for lessons. Hubby has returned. He is put wise to the game by the bellhop and a wild chase ensues, the bellhop surreptitiously extracting the roll from Slick-Fingered Sue and the actor. The final view of the latter two is on a handcar which they are working as hard as can be to escape the wrath of Mr. Newlywed. The bellhop gives back the roll to the bride and groom and everybody's happy.
- Jerry, dozing on a park bench, dreams that he is in the act of blowing up with giant firecrackers and dynamite an octet of policemen, when he is awakened by the explosion of a firecracker placed under the bench by two mischievous boys. Sergeant Kelly and Officer Hadley, attracted to the scene by the noise, arrest Jerry and start him off to the station. On the way they meet pretty Betty, the friend of the force. The attention of the officers distracted, Jerry escapes. Sergeant Kelly calls on Betty, who as kitchen mistress prepares an inviting repast. In the midst of her preparations Lieut. Kirby, another admirer, calls. The Sergeant secretes himself in a refrigerator and when Betty's mistress enters, Lieut. Kelly also hastily seeks shelter, but in the pantry which contains the water heater. Mrs. Goodrich, taking note of the spread, instructs her husband to reprove Betty, who bursts into tears. Sympathetically, Goodrich takes Betty into his arms just as his wife enters A tiff follows, ending with Betty being sent to her room, while husband and wife adjourn to another room to continue their argument. Jerry, fleeing from an officer, enters the kitchen. He discovers Kelly in the refrigerator, now frozen, and the Lieutenant, now afire. The butler enters, sizes up the situation, then hastily exits to inform his master, while Jerry, fearful of being caught, rushes away into Betty's room where Mrs. Goodrich finds him with the bewildered girl. Betty then faints. Jerry carries her to the most convenient room, which happens to be Mr. Goodrich's, and has had just time enough to deposit his burden and to hide when Mr. Goodrich enters, followed by his wife. Betty's presence again causes trouble, but this time not for long, for Jerry is captured and taken off to jail, while Mr. and Mrs. Goodrich patch up their differences.
- Peggy realizes that true love doesn't run smooth when her parents forbid her becoming engaged to Puddy and unceremoniously kick him out of the house. But it isn't true that nobody loves a fat man, for Peggy's love for Puddy is as true as ever and she decides that, by hook or crook, she will become his Mrs. Puddy. The cruel parents take her to a seminary and leave her at the mercies of a stern schoolmarm. No men are allowed to enter this sanctum sanctorum, but Peggy, awfully lonesome for her Puddy, hits upon a plan to see him. She writes to him telling him to visit her disguised as her aunt. The disguise is perfect and Puddy decides to stay at the seminary for the night. Morning looks for Peggy and Puddy in vain at the seminary, because during the night, they had made a getaway to the nearest minister.
- The popularity of Trixie, a theatrical star, has been waning. Her press agent is given notice that he must either bring her back into prominence or resign his job. He goes to his cousin, Tom, and relates his woe to him. There is only one plan he can think of. Tom shall kidnap Trixie and elope with her. Tom, however, is in love with another girl but has been too bashful to propose. He reluctantly consents to the press agent's scheme and preparations are begun to "boom" Trixie. The girl with whom Tom is really in love learns of the plot and decides to intervene. Her plotting ends in Tom's mistaking her for Trixie and finally finding that he has eloped with and married the girl he loves. The press agent has put the reporters on the trail and as they think that the girl is the actress the newspapers start booming Trixie and everybody's happy.
- Russ is Rena's lover in the good old-fashioned country way when along comes the villain, Harry Fischer, a sleek city chap, and lures her away to the great city of sighs and tears with a promise of marriage. Sad is Russ' lot when, after the departure of his beloved, he discovers a tragic letter to the villain from his city friends that they were in urgent need of a blonde. The plot thickens. Russ and old Si, the girl's father, follow in hot pursuit to the great city of s. and t. Finding themselves out of place, the two rubes take a speed cocktail. Ever drink one? See what happens.
- A timely cartoon picture by Harry Palmer, showing the trials of the wandering Dove of Peace and its ultimate haven of rest.
- Jesse's choice is a handsome young country gentleman, but her mother will have none of it, and calls upon the proprietor of the hotel for his listed notables; it is clear she is looking for a count as the proper match for Jesse. It is up to the proprietor to furnish a count or lose a boarder. Coincidentally, Brake Beam Pete, a good-natured hobo, makes his appearance and the crafty proprietor decides to make him earn his board. Pete is disguised as a count and starts out to win the hand of Jesse. As he is on the verge of success, he is "Lost in the Swim."
- Jerry is unable to pay his board bill and because his landlady makes insistent requests for her money he decides to leave without the customary adieus. The landlady, however, divines his plan and sets in wait for him. But her efforts go for naught as Jerry escapes after vanquishing all interferers. With trouble and worry thus banished from his mind, Jerry blithely strolls into a café where, by a process all his own, he acquires a bit of money. This he proceeds to spend immediately by selecting a room in a hotel in preference to a dreary lodging house. The hotel halls are mysterious to Jerry who, in an effort to locate the bathroom, wanders by chance into the room occupied by a young couple. Screams from the woman and blows from the man make Jerry realize his mistake and he bolts away at top speed only to rush into the arms of other guests whom, because of his negligee attire, he wishes to avoid. A bathroom door is conveniently unlocked and into it Jerry ambles only to confront a very queer looking old maid who promptly faints. Horrified, Jerry hurries away by way of the fire escape and after a few interesting incidents en route finally reaches the street. Here he is nabbed by a squad of police who have been chasing him for hours. The final scene shows Jerry behind the bars which he strums appropriately.
- "I will motor home about midnight. Be sure to be home to meet me." The foregoing note was received at dinner by Pop Rounder from his wife, Henrietta. So when Jim, another club member, suggested that they have a little party with his friends at the cabaret, Pop accepted with the provision that he be started homeward before the stroke of twelve. Cabaret life, however, agreed so well with Pop that at 11:30 it was necessary to force him into his automobile. Over this he protested with such vehemence that Jim went out to hire a couple of huskies to escort him safely to his domicile. In the meantime Pop, deprived of his guardian, returned to the cabaret. Jerry, a much buffeted about fellow, to escape the police who are pursuing him because of a petty prank, jumps into the machine just vacated by Pop and dons the owner's overcoat and cap just as the huskies arrive. Jerry is mistaken by them for old Rounder and carted off to Pop's home, where he is tucked into bed. Henrietta arrives home with her two daughters. But not until all heads are on the pillow does he learn that a strange man is in her room. Awakened by her screams Jerry dashes from room to room to escape. While this excitement is going on Jim discovers Pop in the cabaret and after lecturing him, 'phones Pop's butler, who advises that Henrietta has returned and is then in her room with her husband. Amazed at this statement Pop and Jim dash to the scene, accompanied by two policemen. When they arrive the house is in a turmoil. Jerry finally manages to escape by a jump from the veranda and a leap upon the seat of a flying motorcycle, while Pop makes peace with his life.
- The Boob meets a discomforted motorist and buys his automobile for next to nothing. After some difficulty he learns to drive it and calls at the home of a girl who is entertaining a number of college boys on their vacation. The Boob, believing they are all going to a football game in the town, tells them he is entered in the Corona Cup races and asks them to come and see him drive. To his surprise and chagrin they cancel the other engagement and accept his offer. Despite all efforts to get out of it, he is forced to appear at the track as the cars line up for the race. The Boob finds the solution before the crucial moment and hires a mechanic to drive in his place. The mechanic in the Boob's car wins and all would have gone well with the Boob had he not forgotten to pay the mechanic the amount promised to drive for him.
- A short picture showing cartoon sketches of some of our Presidents in various moods. These are done along new lines and are a very entertaining finish to this split reel.
- Daredevil Harry is in love with Flossie, the pride of the ranch, but affairs do not progress very rapidly owing to the objections of Flossie's father, Mr. Dynamite, who rushes Flossie off to a boarding school, notwithstanding the remonstrances of the very sanctimonious looking minister, who turns out to be a fighting parson, when Mr. Dynamite cannot see reason. However, "love will find a way." Flossie sends Harry a note telling him of her departure, and he mounts his faithful pony and goes to her rescue. In the meantime Cyclonic Pete has heard of the departure of the stagecoach and with his two assistants plans a holdup. While looting the coach he is smitten with Flossie's charms, and lets his assistants have the mail bag and rides off with the girl. The men discover the bag is empty but find a note saying the money is in the driver's pocket, so they rush back for a second holdup. Along comes Harry and when he discovers that Flossie is gone a long thrilling chase follows, which ends at the edge of a cliff where the men engage in a hand to hand battle with knives, their bullets having been exhausted by the running fire that has been kept up during the chase. They both fall over the brink; Flossie throws a rope down to Harry, who climbs up. and the lovers, once more together, ride out to Harry's ranch. He is just about to leave for the minister, when Cyclone Pete falls through the roof; another fight, Pete is shot out of the window; Flossie and Harry stand looking aghast after him, when he walks in the door and here several trick stunts are done. The two bandits come up at this time to aid their chief, and Harry is tied to a post. Flossie escapes and runs for help. Pete lights the bomb and places it at Harry's feet and rushes off with his pals to await in the distance for the blowing up of the house and his hated rival, but Flossie and two officers arrive at the psychological moment. Harry is saved; the bomb is thrown out of the window and lands near the waiting trio, who are blown up in smoke, and thus the lovers are at last united.
- It's no fun playing "one-a-night." Anyway, that's what Sam Tompson and his "Galaxy of Beauty" bunch thought about it when they met their Waterloo at Watertown. Sam Tompson arrived in Watertown with his bunch of girls and proceeded to the Opera House to get all ready for the evening's performance. Not many shows came to Watertown and the house was soon sold out. So far, so good. But Watertown audiences are critical. They didn't like the show, and showed their dislike by offerings of onions and eggs. Sam Tompson and his company went through their stunts under rather trying circumstances. The show was too much for the sheriff and he finally decided to use his authority, so he took Sam Tompson and his Galaxy of Beauty from the Opera House to the town lockup, where they were forced to spend the night. The next day they were put to hard labor but they finally rebelled, fooled the sheriff and the rest of Watertown rubes, making a successful get-away in a hand car.
- Willful Nettie is bound to marry a count, and accordingly turns up her nose at her mother's choice, Handsome Harry, and also snubs her father's entry, Educated Ed. But pater and mater were born before Nettie and they, of course know a thing or two. Unknown to each other they proceed to carry out a well-conceived plan. Pa advises Ed to "become" a count and thus win the would-be countess; Ma convinces Harry that to wed Nettie he must first get countship. The boys like the idea and, separately, go their way to transformation and success. Nettie, however, is a chip of the old block, and she has some ideas of her own. She promptly gets in touch with the Royal Matrimonial Bureau and is promised the count she yearns for. "Count" Ed is first to call on Nettie, who, believing him to be a real count, makes a dainty fuss over him. "Count" Harry comes next, and Ed is unceremoniously shelved. Harry's fervent wooing does not carry Nettie by storm, and when Count de Blink (of the matrimonial bureau) arrives, she eagerly shelves Harry. De Blink's polished manners make a big impression on Nettie, who rejoices over her good fortune. Harry and Ed fight it out in true count fashion and finish by removing each other's disguises. When the fracas is at its height, Pa and Ma take a hand, also the cook and her cop admirer. The earthquake outside of the drawing-room makes Count de Blink yearn for the peaceful interior of his barber shop, but he can't get away from Nettie. She must have her hour of triumph and forthwith announces her marriage to de Blink. The cop exposes the barber and Nettie is still unwed.
- Homeless Harry, ensconced in a cozy corner of a freight car, is stealing a ride and a bit of sleep. The freighter stops at its destination and Homeless Harry is obliged to change cars. At the Opera House, Battling Mike, the demon of pugdom, is meeting all comers, offering a prize of $5,000 to whomsoever should win over him. Homeless Harry reads the glaring announcement and decides to make a goal for the $5,000, but, not having finished his nap, he sits down by a tree to sleep, perchance to dream. No sooner has Homeless Harry dozed off than Smart Aleck, the boy wonder, places a toy balloon between the sleeper's lips and scampers away. As Homeless Harry sleeps, his rhythmic breathing starts inflating the balloon, and as the balloon swells, he dreams that he is in the ring with Battling Mike and that after two rounds of carnage he has vanquished the pugilistic terror, and earned a big roll, which Homeless Harry proceeds to "blow." Homeless Harry has spent nearly all his dream money when the toy balloon, inflated to its limit, bursts open and punctures Homeless Harry's "blowing" career.
- Polly, the nurse, is very absent-minded and at times even forgets to take the baby out walking. On this particular morning Polly is in a great hurry to get downtown to attend a bargain sale, and the cook is forced to impress upon her mind the necessity of giving the baby fresh air several times before she takes the hint. Harry, the town sport, is also out taking the air and on his way downtown, meets a very pretty young lady, who is bound for the sale. Harry accompanies her to the store and promises to wait until she comes out. Polly arrives with the baby and upon discovering Harry, asks him to look after the young one until she returns. The baby starts to cry and Harry picks it up to comfort it; suddenly out comes the young lady, but when she sees him with the baby in his arms, she will have nothing more to do with him. Off she goes in a fury while Harry, carrying the baby, follows vainly trying to explain. As the baby will not stop its crying Harry, thinking it is hungry, goes to a lunch room and orders steak, but, strange to say, the desired result are not forthcoming. Harry in despair, borrows a nursing bottle and immediately all is serene; greatly relieved he finds a quiet spot and falls asleep. Polly in the meantime reaches home and the cook misses the baby, much running, much excitement, and many policemen follow. Harry is at last discovered dreaming that he is taking care of five small babies. His dreams are brought to a sudden close, but everyone is satisfied, even the young lady, and she and Harry are again united.
- Jimmy and Johnny are twin brothers and they are so much alike that even their papa cannot distinguish one from the other. Jimmy, however, is pugnaciously inclined while Johnny is an ardent peace advocate, and the latter is often obliged to go to war in order to protect himself from the attacks of Scrappy Jimmy, who crows after each victory. Years roll by but the brothers go on quarreling and fighting; they finally decide to leave home and go their separate ways. Jimmy's scrappiness eventually lands him in jail, and John's peaceful nature leads him into the blessed state of matrimony. Jim yearns for freedom. He finds a lucky charm and, with its aid, manages to escape from prison. The guards are quick to give chase. Meanwhile, John discovers that married life has its drawbacks and is compelled to flee from his strenuous better half. Jim successfully eludes his pursuers, changes clothes and buries the convict's costume in the woods. This act is seen by John, who quickly disinters the striped garment and, upon investigation, finds the lucky charm. His joy is short-lived, for the guards pounce upon him and rush him to prison. John protests in vain; his captors are sure he is Jim, the jail-breaker. Jim congratulates himself on his clever escape, and the scrappy spirit still strong within him, he wends his way in the direction of Scrapville. Here he falls into the rustic hands of two constables who drag him to John's home where the lady of the house, holding a dangerous looking weapon in her hands, is waiting the return of her runaway spouse. Jim's protestations are of no avail and he bows to the inevitable. Once inside of the house, Mrs. John starts to lay violent hands upon Jim, whom she believes to be her fugitive John. Jim meets his Waterloo and, like his brother, bolts for the door and makes a mad dash for safety. A hasty glance over his shoulder convinces him that safety lies ahead, way ahead, back into the prison he had deserted. Breaking all speed records, he rushes into the arms of the astonished wardens. The twins are brought face to face and exclaiming, "My long-lost brother." They clasp each other in a warm fraternal embrace.
- Weary Willie is a happy tramp but is a trifle sleepy. He seeks a park bench for a slumber and falls asleep next to a colored man. If we could all have the dreams of Weary Willie, we'd be willing to sleep on park benches, too. He is transplanted to Nowhere where he is presented with a beautiful harem. He sees an oriental maiden he wants to marry, and thinking her to be the Rajah's wife, he confesses his love for her to the Rajah. The Rajah promises to give Willie his wife if he can shoot the apple from one of the colored servant's heads. William Tell has nothing on Willie and Willie wins the Rajah's wife. But the wife isn't this beautiful young girl but an old indescribable mass of ugliness. Willie has had enough and is escaping pursued by the colored servant when he wakes up.
- All goes well in the little country town until one of the rubes reads an advertisement of a burlesque show in the city. He and his two friends decide they want to go, but the question is how to get away from their wives. An article in the newspaper, telling of the number of Americans enlisting in the European war gives them their cue. They sneak away from the old town, leaving word behind that they have gone to enlist. The show comes up to their expectations. They enjoy every minute of it. Here the story would probably end happily if the trio did not mix up with three of the chorus after the show and start out for a high old time. The rube trio fall into the hands of the police and spend the night behind the prison bars. In the meantime, the three wives have compared notes. One of them stumbles upon a copy of the burlesque show ad. They decide to take matters in their own hands and start out "to capture the enemy." They finally find their husbands in jail and win a victory by spanking their naughty husbands. The three hubbies surrender, agreeing with Sherman's views on war. When the next burlesque show is advertised we know of three rubes who refuse to attend.
- McQuarrie's wife discovers an old Indian headdress in his trunk, and asks where he obtained it. McQuarrie modestly refuses to tell; she insists. He does not wish to tell her the truth so he makes up a story, and tells her how when a young chap he was in the west with two other fellows and they were attacked by a band of Indians. His two companions become frightened and hide under their bunks, but he braves the dozen Indians, and kills off one after another, until the last one is reached, then his ammunition is all gone, so they have a hand-to-hand fight with knives. Here he also wins and this headdress is that of the last Indian. In the midst of this story, their little son Jimmy has come into the room and is delighted to learn that his father is such a grand hero. Mother takes him upstairs, where on a table in his room is an Indian manikin with several others doing a war dance. Jimmy is put to bed and begins to dream of Indians. When his wife and son leave the room McQuarrie recalls what actually did happen when he secured this headdress. He is going to a masquerade, and arrives there very hilarious, and is not allowed to enter, so throws a brick through the window and then starts on a run. A very comical chase follows, which ends in McQuarrie throwing an Indian cigar sign in his pursuer's path, which is mistaken for him, thus he makes his escape. While reminiscent he falls asleep and dreams he has been caught by a band of Indians and is about to be burned at the stake. Meanwhile Jimmy dreams he is killing off Indians just as his father did, and begins to walk in his sleep. When he arrives in the dining room his father appears to be one of the hated Indians and he hits him on the head with the poker. The blow awakens father, who believes this is the Indians' work, but is readily knocked out by the blow. At that moment Jimmy also wakes up and mother comes into the room. Father is helped to bed. When the doctor arrives he announces McQuarrie will be all right in a few weeks. Then appears the moral: "Don't Lie to Your Family."
- McQuarrie cannot resist the craving for drink and under its compulsion steals the last coins from his poverty-stricken home, leaving his wife and little child to get along as best they may. At his corner hangout McQuarrie invests his money in a bottle of spirits, and is soon completely under its influence. He then crawls into a barrel and falls asleep. In his delirium McQuarrie sees the devil sitting astride the barrel mocking him. Suddenly the barrel is sealed up and with McQuarrie inside, rolls violently down a mountainside, spins madly around on the brink of a precipice and finally plunges over and is smashed to pieces on the rocks below. McQuarrie is then seized by soldiers and carried before their General. The bottle is found in McQuarrie's pockets and as a drunkard he is sentenced to death. The soldiers ram him into a huge cannon and touch off a fuse. McQuarrie is presumably blown to pieces, but actually lands in a boiling cauldron in which some savage islanders are cooking their food. They, too. discover the bottle and sentence the inebriate to wander alone on the desert island until destroyed by giants. Gideon, the king of giants, captures him and finding the bottle crushes McQuarrie into a bag, and, swinging it around and round his head, hurls him back to the land from whence he came. The unhappy creature lands in the midst of a band of bandits, who liberate him from the bag. But they too find the fatal flask of whiskey and sentence him to death. After a frantic pursuit McQuarrie eludes the bandits, only to see the double of himself sitting under a tree. This vision so unnerves him that he starts to gulp whiskey from his flask. The devil again appears to mock him, and in a rage the hunted drunkard hurls a boulder at the devil, who vanishes, and in his place appears the bandits. A thrilling chase, in which a running fire of guns is kept up, ensues, McQuarrie finally escaping by a miraculous leap across a river. Seeking a place to hide he discovers the shattered barrel in which he originally started his wild journey. He crawls in between the barrel hoops and the barrel assembles, piece by piece, about him. When complete, the barrel retraces its course up the precipice, over the rough rock beds and up the mountainside, stopping in its original spot in the farm yard, where the ends drop out and McQuarrie is awakened by the old chicken which had been nesting in the barrel. Delighted to find that his horrors were only imaginary, he rushes home to his wife and baby, promising never to touch liquor again.
- Poor old Patsy is henpecked. Smoking is one of his forbidden delights. On the quiet he indulges in the weed, and runs up a bill with the town's lady tobacconist, who writes for her dues. Tilda, his wife, finds the envelope, feminine handwriting. Patsy divines the situation to follow and runs for his life, his better half in pursuit. A policeman catches Patsy before Wifie can do it. At the intercession of a friend Patsy is released and arm in arm they stroll to the nearest thirst emporium to cement their friendship. Midnight comes. Tilda is patiently awaiting Patsy's return home to welcome him with a broom handle. Fearing just such a reception Patsy decides on any port in a storm and uses a freight car as a haven of shelter. The church deacon witnesses Patsy's unusual behavior and is deeply shocked. In the night Patsy's Pullman is coupled to a train. Upon awakening in the morning the now sobered spouse finds himself in a town one hundred miles from home. He visits a friend and his wife. There the church deacon, who is on a business trip, discovers Patsy and surmises he is leading a double life. In the meantime Tilda has the police on the trail of her missing provider. When they learn the deacon's suspicions wife starts for Patsy's new habitat. She finds him in company with his friend's wife, rocking her baby. Then the crash comes. Patsy hastily exits followed by his tormentor. Through the streets they rush followed by the whole police department, who finally corral and jail the disturbers. In their separate cells they are left to soliloquize. Tilda weeps copiously at the unexpected outcome of her plan, while Patsy smilingly indulges in his weed, a victory gained.
- Syd, a diminutive man, is infatuated with Ann, a maiden lady. A series of happenings wherein animal pets, especially a monkey, together with a small loan of money from Syd and monkeying with monkeys causes coldness between Ann and the infatuated Syd. Syd is heartbroken. Suicide suggests itself, and in the act of commitment Syd gets an idea. Donning a monkey's skin, he is sold to Ann and bliss reigns supreme until the other pets get more attention than he. Gloom is brightened by another idea. Ann sees her big monkey scratching violently. Ah, fleas. Tub, boiling water and soap cause general break-up of furniture and a wholesale escape of the pets. Syd takes a flyer through the window with the undaunted Ann taking it after him in pursuit of her supposed big monkey. A policeman adjusts things while the minister secures the knot which no monkeying breaks.
- Harry LaPearl made up as a negro answers an advertisement for a servant to a Newlywed family and is engaged. While the family and several guests are dining he gets into many comic mix-ups. Mr. Newlywed decides to go to a cabaret with his guests, and leaves his wife at home. From a black mark left on the tablecloth by the makeup on Mr. LaPearl's hands, Mrs. Newlywed discovers that her new servant is white, and decides to have him escort her to the same cabaret that her husband is attending. Clad in the husband's dress clothes LaPearl goes with her to the restaurant, where many screamingly funny situations are created. His absurd antics finally start a riot among the guests and Mrs. Newlywed faints. LaPearl is thrown out of the restaurant and Mr. Newlywed discovers that the lady in the case is his wife. He takes her home, but LaPearl has beaten him out, and with his black makeup restored, is busy making bread when the Newlyweds arrive. A row ensues and LaPearl is discharged and forcibly ejected from the front door, not, however, before he has squashed a pan of bread dough on his irate master's head. The comedy ends in the happy reconciliation of the Newlyweds and the humorous retreat of the pseudo-negro servant.
- Jerry, a member of the ball and chain gang, weary of the arduous labor imposed upon him, escapes his servitude and wends his way to a nearby town. There he meets His Royal Highness, Prince Flivver, just arrived via fast freight to visit the wealthy Simpkins family. Jerry shows his appreciation, or lack of it, of the Prince's proffer of friendship by purloining that worthy's suitcase, which bears in large letters the name of its owner. Running to escape the Prince whom he knows will follow as soon as the loss is discovered, Jerry reaches the railroad station where Simpkins has gone to meet the nobleman as per appointment. Seeing Jerry with the suitcase bearing Prince Flivver's name, Simpkins surmises that the possessor is the real Prince, and soon has Jerry muffled in an automobile on the way to the Simpkins mansion. Jerry, of course, becomes the center of attraction. He is wined and dined. His slightest wish is anticipated and gratified. He is in the seventh heaven of delight. Meanwhile the Prince has not been idle. He invokes the aid of another of his nationality, who. in turn, notifies the police, and together they set out for the Simpkins home. They enter just as Jerry is regaling the family and a party of guests with stories of his wealth and position in a far-off land. The scene that follows ends with the Prince coming into his own, while Jerry is going out, in the custody of the officers. However, Jerry eventually escapes while the officers decide a little quarrel between themselves, and everything ends happily for all concerned.
- The motion picture show has had a revolutionary effect upon the so-called legitimate stage, changing the policy of thousands of theaters and altering where it has not altogether changed the occupation of countless actors and actresses throughout the land. "In the Palmy Days" is a unique comedy dramatization of these strange conditions. and shows the adjustment which is rapidly taking place, and the final solution of the problem that confronted O'Donoval McBluff, a tragedian of the old school. The picture play opens with a scene in the producer's office. An "angel" has been "dug up" to finance a troupe for The Dainty Sisters. The troupe engaged includes O'Donoval McBluff, and several other repertoire actors, but there is no part open to Bennie Luther, the accepted suitor of the leading lady. In order to be near his sweetheart, Bennie masquerades as a woman and is palmed off on the manager as one of the Dainty sisters. The troupe finds that the first theater in which it is booked has been turned over to motion pictures and that its paper has been covered by the posters of the picture show. So the legitimate play has to be given in a tent. The audience tolerates the comic parts of the performance, but when the tragic McBluff appears he is made the target of all sorts of vegetables and eggs which had ripened without the aid of cold storage. In the confusion which follows a lamp is overturned and the tent takes fire. The hose carts arrive and a riot of fun ensues. The manager in the meantime has been carrying on a flirtation with Bennie, the bogus Dainty sister, and comic situations have constantly occurred. His wife finally catches him embracing Bennie, whom she attacks in a jealous rage. Bennie's wig and hat are torn off and his identity is disclosed. The picture ends with the stranded troupe surrendering to the inevitable and joining a slapstick motion picture organization in which the regular walking of the ghost 52 times each year more than compensates them for the shock administered to their artistic temperaments.
- If you put up at a hotel where the bus driver dropped the grips on your head and stopped the horses several times between the depot and the hotel while he went in for a "smile," wouldn't it make you sore? If, while registering, he stuck you in the ribs with a pen, escorted you into your rooms with a kick and paid not the slightest heed to your ringing or requests, wouldn't it exasperate you? If he started flirting with your wife, what would you do? If he aroused the feelings of another boarder who chased him through the halls with a gun, would you like the noise? And besides being bus driver and proprietor and hotel clerk, if he also tried to be the cook, what kind of "eats" do you think you would get? How long would you stay at a hotel such as that? Not very long. That is the plot of the MinA comedy of September 30th and is the reason why the boarders left.
- Luck has been dead against poor Verace, who finally gets so down and out that he is ordered to leave his poverty-stricken "furnished" room. The landlord is just in the act of evicting him when a message arrives informing Verace that, by the will of his uncle, he has inherited an enormous fortune. Verace writes to his buxom sweetheart, and after he has togged out in the finest raiment meets her at the ferry. A placard has been posted at the ferry slip offering $500 reward for the capture of "Alias Greased Lightning," a desperate crook. Verace is mistaken by the police for the fugitive, but is rescued by his husky partner and the two flee from their would-be captors. The chase which follows is a riot of thrills and laughs. Numberless unheard-of comical and ludicrous situations are developed, and the story reaches its climax with the explosion of a powder mill, the frustration of the cops and the escape of the much-abused lovers.
- As per custom, Harry gets himself into trouble. This time the scene is laid at his wedding feast. His bride flirts outrageously with the minister who is delighted with the outcome of his "lady-killing" proclivities. Not so with Harry, who shows his objection to the proceedings by ejecting the preacher via a nearby window. Harry's wife is angered at her spouse's conduct and retires to her room, locking the door. The situation has also embittered Harry, who, to drown his sorrow, resorts to the flowing bowl. Three "second story" men visit Harry's home. At the point of a revolver they compel him to help carry away his own belongings. When the house is depleted Harry is permitted to return to his wife. His knocking at her door brings to her visions of burglars, and in alarm she cries at the top of her voice. The police come and arrest Harry, taking him to the police station. He explains that he is master of the house from which he is taken and that the real burglars have escaped. To substantiate his claim, a policeman is dispatched to bring Harry's wife. Attired in night dress and seated on the handlebars of a bicycle she is brought to the station. There she falls in the arms of her persecuted spouse, and while the officers look on in astonishment the newlyweds flee from the place of detention to the railway station, where they catch a moving train leaving the officers behind minus their coup.
- It is Nettie's birthday and she entertains a number of her many friends. Fatty Zamm, one of her admirers, asserts himself and monopolizes Nettie's attention. Happy Harry, upon whom the girls looks with favor, is not a member of the party, and at a safe distance from the house, he bravely ponders over the strange doings of fate, inwardly cursing the groundless opposition of Nettie's pater. Nettie spies Harry and, touching the keys of love's wireless, the two are soon together, out on the porch, whispering sweet nothings. Remembering her assembled guests, Nettie tells Harry to wait, for she will promptly rejoin him. Alas, poor Harry! Surrounded by merrymakers, Nettie forgets the waiting lover, who waits and sighs in vain. Fatty, who persists in the "I-am-it" method, finds a worthy rival in Percy, who delivers an ultimatum. A ladylike war breaks out and ice cream and soft drinks are freely thrown about to the detriment of the wall paper. Papa intervenes, uppercuts the belligerents and then rushes out to the nearest paperhanger. Here he has considerable difficulty in being understood, but after ripping up the place, he selects the paper and makes arrangements for the immediate papering of his reception room. Harry, who is still at his post waiting for the fair one, persuades the paperhanger to take his place, and, armed with paste, paper and ladder, he enters the home in which he is persona non grata. Harry uses paste and paper liberally but not judiciously. The guests in close formation charge upon him, but Harry uses his paste brush with accuracy and dexterity. Pandemonium reigns. Percy, after a taste of paste, beats an inglorious retreat, but Fatty continues to lead his cohorts against invincible Harry. Papa joins the fray and is flabbergasted to find that the leading combatants, Zamm and Harry, wind up the war with an affectionate embrace in which Nettie participates.
- Harry's married life is a telling lesson in conjugal happiness, notwithstanding the fact that his fair partner delights to assert and maintain her leadership in a most convincing way. As there is a silver lining to every cloud, Harry has his, a shimmering, golden dream called Mazie, who is his nearest, and dearest, and sweetest neighbor. After a severe session with his wife, Harry is quite ready for the little tempter. Would Harry go to Kidd's Rathskeller with Mazie for companion? He would. Anticipating a few hours of freedom, fun and frolic, Harry starts the celebration with a visit to the wet emporium around the corner. Maude (Harry's wife) gets on the trail and, after getting the hook, hubby is forced to trail home behind the irresistible mate. Night comes; Maude retires and is soon asleep. Alert Harry, ably assisted by the iceman, climbs out of the window, meets Mazie and together they enter the portals of Kidd's Rathskeller, where he starts studying noodle soup and wine. Though asleep, Maude's mind is not at rest. Mind triumphs over matter, and the sleeper ceases to slumber. "Where's my husband?" she shrieks in a voice of thunder. Mazie's innocent little note, reposing on the bedroom floor, gives her the clue. Out in the midnight air rushes raging Maud. At Kidd's, merrymaking is at its height. Does Harry enjoy the fine cabaretian show? He does. "Where's my husband?" roars Maude as she cyclones in upon the festive congregation. Brave men try to stop her. but none can withstand Maude's terrific charge. Harry is finally cornered and he now knows that hell hath no fury like his Maude.
- Jerry is in dire dread of policemen and exits hastily at the approach of any one of the law's minions. The story opens showing Jerry caught by two mounted police, who drag him along the roadway. He escapes their vigilance and wanders to a nearby wood where he overhears the plot of two highwaymen to hold up a passing automobile by pointing guns without cartridges. There being no need to fear empty revolvers Jerry follows the plotters as they are in the act of robbing Mr. Rich and his pretty daughter he intervenes and by the use of a discarded policeman's club sends the highwaymen into dreamland. Out of gratitude Mr. Rich, who is afflicted with the gout, appoints his savior as his nurse, in which capacity Jerry is a dubious success. At the Rich home awkwardness in handling Mr. Rich causes ructions between the family members and the servants, and as he wheels Mr. Rich through the streets he collides with people, poles and walls, finally letting the wheelchair stand unprotected in a busy thoroughfare. A flying automobile crashes into it and sends its occupant to the sidewalk beyond buried wreckage. The actions of Jerry and Mr. Rich have created such a disturbance that the officers decide to lock up the disturbers, to which suggestion Jerry and Mr. Rich acquiesce under pressure.
- Josh and Miranda visit the big city on their honeymoon. Josh gets into all sorts of trouble. He flirts with a pretty girl and is trounced by Miranda, takes a trolley ride and returns by auto only to find out that he has a taxicab bill to pay. The girls crowd around Josh on the beach. Seeing Miranda coming he flees abandoning her duster and bag. Eph and Sinda, a pair of colored newlyweds, find the duster and Sinda puts it on. Looking for lost articles, Josh mistakes Sinda for his wife and follows her and Eph to their home. As Eph and his friends play cards, Josh crawls in through Sinda's window. Then he discovers his mistake for Eph, Sinda and the rest pursue him. Miranda joins in the chase. Josh and Miranda crawl into a little house which is blown up by a United States Army explosion test, using an aeroplane to drop bombs. The explosion lands Miranda in the river. She is rescued by two policemen who take her to the police station. As Miranda is arguing with the sergeant, Josh arrives through the roof. He and Miranda, reunited, embrace.
- Count Verace, a dapper little fellow, makes a great hit with the pretty girls at a summer hotel, especially with Dora. George, her sweetheart, is jealous and forbids her to see the count. But she flirts with the count by dropping her parasol for him to pick up. George, seeing them together, is more jealous than ever and hires a gang of thugs to revenge him on the count. The gangsters drop the count from the roof of a tall building, but he jumps up uninjured. They tie the count to a railroad track, but he loosens the ropes and jumps onto the cowcatcher of the onrushing engine. The count is recaptured by the thugs after a chase through the woods and bound to the rear seat of an automobile. The automobile is sent over a precipice but the count crawls out from under the wreckage uninjured and goes back to the hotel. He is making love to Dora when George comes in, sees him and faints away, crushed by the count's triumph.