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Quotes for
Art (Character)
from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

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National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
Audrey: I hope nobody I know drives by and sees me standing in the yard staring at the house in my pajamas.
Art: If they know your dad, they won't think anything of it.

Art: You want to hurry this up, Clark? I'm freezing my baguettes off.

[after Clark fails at lighting all the exterior Christmas lights at the "lighting ceremony" in front of the entire family]
Frances: Talk about pissing your money away. I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was.
Audrey: He worked really hard, Grandma.
Art: So do washing machines.

Art: It was an ugly tree anyway.

Art: The little lights... they aren't twinkling.
Clark: I know, Art. Thanks for noticing.

Art: [a messenger delivers Clark's envelope with his "bonus", the family looks questioningly] What is it? A letter confirming your reservation at the nuthouse?

Art: [to Rocky] You got a kiss for me?
Eddie: Better take a rain check on that, Art - he's got a lip fungus they ain't identified yet...

Art: [after Clark has flipped out] You're goofy.
Clark: [Still flipped out] Don't piss me off, Art.