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: Was there a church in prison? Daniel Holden
: There was, but I was only ever allowed visits by the chaplain. Tawney Talbot
: So you would meet with him? Daniel Holden
: I would have met with the executioner had he stopped by.
: Did you ever talk about where you think you'll go when you die. Daniel Holden
: It was kind of expected in the setting.
: That it wasn't worth pondering. Tawney Talbot
: But of course it is! That's what makes us human. Daniel Holden
: I think what makes us human is the ability to choose to ponder or not to ponder.
: I can see and feel God in all things. Daniel Holden
: Like Thomas Aquinas. Tawney Talbot
: I don't know much about him. Daniel Holden
: He felt that God revealed himself in nature. Tawney Talbot
: Yes, yes, that's what I feel, in a sense. Daniel Holden
: He believed that supernatural revelation is faith, and natural revelation is reason, and the two are not contradictory, but complementary.
: You're different from how I thought you'd be. Daniel Holden
: Different how? Tawney Talbot
: I don't know. You're above things, like you're pure. Daniel Holden
: Far from that.
: It does something to you, not to be touched in any positive way for so long. You begin to vacillate between being repelled by touch, and seeking it out in any form, even the most negative. Tawney Talbot
: I'm so sorry. Daniel Holden
: Out here, you... you're the only touch that soothed me.
: Could you ever accept Christ into your heart? Daniel Holden
: I don't think Buddha would mind making room, or Confucius. Nietzsche might grumble.
: Personally, I like the fall a lot, but I also... I love it when it rains on a hot summer day, even though that's technically not a season. Daniel Holden
: What is it that you love about rain on a hot summer's day? Tawney Talbot
: Hum. Calms me down... makes the plants happy. And the thunder, I love the thunder. It makes me think of God, but not in a bad way.
: I'm just so aware that most of what I draw on from inside my head are things I've read about. My real life experiences are actually rather narrow. I don't think about the seasons, not for the longest time, anyway. Tawney Talbot
: I'm sorry. Daniel Holden
: I don't mean to sound pitiful. Tawney Talbot
: Oh no, you don't, not really. Daniel Holden
: I don't feel that way, sorry for myself. I do feel I am being received sometimes that way, by others. And I know I have a part in that somehow, I just don't have it figured out yet. Tawney Talbot
: That will probably take some time, figuring things out.
: The place where I was had no windows, just these thick walls surrounded by more thick walls. So I never knew if it was raining or even heard the loudest thunder. Tawney Talbot
: That's so sad. Daniel Holden
: It's not as bad as it sounds because I didn't sense things in a normal way, I didn't miss them. If I couldn't sense them, they weren't real to me. Tawney Talbot
: What was real to you, Daniel? Daniel Holden
: The time in between the seconds. And my books. And my friend.
: Now that I'm here in this world where everything's marked by hours or dates or events, I find myself in a state of constant anticipation. What it is I'm anticipating, I'm not always sure, nor is it necessarily a pleasant feeling. But in the case of the inevitable rain and thunder which I am sure to experience, thanks to you Tawney, I am very much looking forward to that. Tawney Talbot
: It will be glorious, Daniel. You won't be disappointed.
: You keep saying he's weird, but I don't see him that way really. Ted Jr.
: Oh, he's weird.
: Why did you want me to get saved, Tawney? Tawney Talbot
: 'Cause I wanted you to have salvation. I wanted you to know peace, I still want that for you. Daniel Holden
: And do you know peace, Tawney? Tawney Talbot
: Sometimes. Daniel Holden
: And you think that peace comes from God? Tawney Talbot
: I know it doesn't come from ourselves. Daniel Holden
: Do you believe that, or do you have to believe that, because otherwise life would be intolerable for you? Tawney Talbot
: I believe that because it's true. Daniel Holden
: Or is it true because you believe it? Tawney Talbot
: Yes, both I guess. Daniel Holden
: So if I believe there is no God, then there is no God. Tawney Talbot
: It's not the same thing. Daniel Holden
: Why not? Tawney Talbot
: 'Cause you're just lost, Daniel. Daniel Holden
: Something we can agree upon.
: I can't remember the last time I used a pay phone. The last time I saw one, even. Daniel Holden
: They're hard to find. But it felt good to use a telephone that wasn't smarter than me.
: How is he? Amantha Holden
: Not good. Thanks for asking... Tawney Talbot
: Is there anything I can do? Amantha Holden
: You wouldn't be a brain surgeon by any chance?
Ted Talbot Jr.
: Why does everything got to be so goddamn polite in this relationship? Tawney Talbot
: Do you want me to start talking like you, Teddy? That make you happy?
: I hurt him. Humiliated him. Something I learned in prison. Something to make a man feel powerless. It wasn't rape, but it was violent. And... Tawney Talbot
: ...and what? Daniel Holden