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[Daniel, angry, throws a bowling ball out a window
: You hit a car! You could've killed somebody! Daniel McTeague
: The way I bowl...
[opening the door to find Danny nude
: Daniel McTeague? Daniel McTeague
: No shit! That's my name too. Laura
: No, I'm a private investigator. Daniel McTeague
: You're a detective? Great help me find my pants.
: You say one more word and I'll kick your ass so high up you'll have to take off your shirt to shit!
: Oh, great. Now I'm impotent. Robin
: We just kissed for two seconds? Daniel McTeague
: No, it never takes me this long. Usually we're showering by now!
: I had no idea just how sick you guys were. Frank
: Come spend a day with us. Daniel McTeague
: I'd rather shove this club up my ass. Glen
: I'll do it for you.
: You missed the basket while you was on the guy with the painted face.People hate that. TV Director
: Wait a minute.Who's directing this you or me?Let me check.
[Looks down at chair
] TV Director
: That's my ass.That's my ass in the director's chair.Shit.I must be the director!
: [Looking at photos of Mollie
] Do you have any where she's leaning over a saddle looking coy?
: [Referring to Danny
] He double crossed us. Daniel McTeague
: [to his dad
] Because they're scum.I mean they're greedy. Frank
: We're greedy.We were willing to share!
: You bastard! Daniel McTeague
: I like it better when she says it.I think it's the accent or something.
: Look money's money.I need it just like everybody else.But money's not gonna turn me into some sycophantic,arse licking wacko.
: You hired an actor to pretend he was me.And then pretended to get in a fight with him.And told him you preferred Uncle Joe to me. Daniel McTeague
: Well when you put it like that it sounds kinda bad.
: [challenging Daniel
] C'mon out here in the deep end,show that girlfriend of yours what you're made of. Daniel McTeague
: Oh definitely.I'm gonna beat up an elderly crippled man,and she's gonna say "my what a catch".
: These pills only work if I give them to him myself.It's a very rare condition. Hotel Clerk
: Excuse me sir,does this say moron? Daniel McTeague
: Ok I'll be honest with you I'm his nephew. Hotel Clerk
: Oh his nephew? Daniel McTeague
: Yes. Hotel Clerk
: Because he specifically said that his room number wasn't to be given to any of his relatives. Daniel McTeague
: What the hell's the matter with you.Do you not care about this hotel's reputation?You know there is an old man shacked up here with a very young girl. Hotel Clerk
: Sir most of these rooms have old men with young girls this is Washington.
: You tell your cousins I'm not afraid of them.And you leave Joe alone. Daniel McTeague
: You keep your breasts off his eyebrows.
: You're not broke are you Uncle Joe? Uncle Joe
: I'm richer than shit.