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Quotes for
Archibald Snatcher (Character)
from The Boxtrolls (2014)

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The Boxtrolls (2014)
Archibald Snatcher: I have been reasonable, and I can be unreasonable.

Archibald Snatcher: You Really think Portly-Rind and His mob will help a nobody like you? In this town, you want, you gotta help yourself. That's what a man does.
Eggs: You're a liar, when I tell Winnie's father the truth, he'll...
[Snatcher pushes egg to a wall]
Archibald Snatcher: HE'LL THANK ME. Because... all your little boxtroll friends... are going to die. TONIGHT!
Eggs: WHAT?
Archibald Snatcher: THEY'LL MAKE THE MOST RESPECTED MAN IN THIS TOWN! They'll have no choice but to give me a white hat, they'll parade me, They'll take up on their shoulders. And I'm NOT gonna let that be ruined by some little boxtroll sewer rat!

Archibald Snatcher: [first line, Snatcher to Butler at the front door] Wake his Lordship. The unspeakable has happened, We must speak of it immediately!
[struggles with Butler, trying to slam the door on him]
Lord Portley-Rind: [Frustrated] What is is, Snatcher?
Archibald Snatcher: BOXTROLLS HAVE COME AND STOLEN A CHILD!
Lord Portley-Rind: Gasp, no.
Archibald Snatcher: There no doubt, picking their teeth with his adorable baby bones, by now.
Lord Portley-Rind: Horribly tragedy.
[in a non-interested tone]
Lord Portley-Rind: Lets deal with it in the morning.
Archibald Snatcher: [while butler aggressively presses the door on Snatcher] STOP, that's not the worst of it. They'll come after...
[Butler slams the door in Snatcher's face, and is now talking through the mailslot of the mansion]
Archibald Snatcher: our cheeses!
Lord Portley-Rind: [SCARED] MY GOUDA?
Archibald Snatcher: They'll stop at nothing.
Lord Portley-Rind: Oh you're the town exterminator, I'll pay whatever it takes.
Archibald Snatcher: Oh I don't want money, I want one of those
[pointing at Portly Rind's hat]
Lord Portley-Rind: A white hat? you? ABSURD!
Archibald Snatcher: Alright then, by prepare to say bye bye to your brie, cheerio to your cheddar, good bye...
Lord Portley-Rind: Hey, Have every boxtrolls gone, with proof.
Archibald Snatcher: For a white hat? I WILL DESTROY EVERY LAST BOXTROLL IN THIS TOWN!

Lord Portley-Rind: [after Learning that Snatcher was lying about the boxtrolls and the Trubshaws] He lied to us and to poor Madame Fru fru. Snatcher...
Archibald Snatcher: [Using fru-fru voice] We could have been something special, but you have broken our agreement.
Lord Portley-Rind: Why is he talking like Madame Fru... GASP, Oh my god! I reget so much.

Mr. Pickles: [Noticing that Snatcher is having an allergic reaction to a piece of cheese he just ate. Whispering to Mr. Trout] Someone's got the cheese fits again.
Mr. Trout: [to Mr.Gristle] Oh, quickly, quietly get the leeches.
Mr. Gristle: [while silently sneaking around Snatcher] Quietly. Quietly.
Archibald Snatcher: [Noticing that Trout's leaving the table] Where's he going?
Mr. Gristle: Quietly.
Archibald Snatcher: Is he getting more cheese?
[Snatcher's lower lip swells up. Making Mr. Pickles and Mr. Trout shocked]
Archibald Snatcher: What?
Mr. Pickles: I think you've had enough for today, boss.

Archibald Snatcher: [eats a tiny bit of cheddar, and swallows] Mmmm!
Mr. Trout: [surprisingly] Oh!
Archibald Snatcher: I say, old chaps, it's quite, um
[pause]
Archibald Snatcher: It's, um
[pauses]
Archibald Snatcher: It's quite, um
Mr. Trout: [breaking in] Aromatic? Oaky? With an undertone of a mother's smile on a warm spring day? Hmmm
[smiling thoughtfully]
Archibald Snatcher: Yes! Those things. Etcetera, ectetera, big words, chummy banter.
[Said as he breaks into an allergic reaction to the cheese]