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: My wife - I got no sex life. The dog keeps watching me in the bedroom; wants to learn how to beg. I told him to watch my wife to learn how to roll over and play dead.
: My wife is always something. The other night I woke up, she was saying sexy things. I looked up; she was on the phone.
: My wife isn't too smart, you know. She has to reach inside her bra to count to two.