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Quotes for
Jane Lockhart (Character)
from Not Another Happy Ending (2013)

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Not Another Happy Ending (2013)
Jane Lockhart: You don't have to be miserable to write. You do it because you have to, because it gnaws away at your insides if you try to ignore it. Because if you don't write, you might as well be dead.

Jane Lockhart: [upon meeting Tom] So, Young European Publisher of the Year, Runner Up? That's really impressive. I have a swimming certificate.

Jane Lockhart: Willie? Do your characters ever... talk to you?
Willie: Sure. All the time. That's why I've got this.
[typing loudly]
Willie: Drowns out the bastards.

Jane Lockhart: [eulogizing] Why is it that the saddest endings always seem the truest? In the stories I told myself I was always the heroine - always reaching for my happy ending.

Darsie: [Jane is at home, typing on her laptop computer and is bare naked. Darsie is reading a magazine] I will not do nudity unless it is essential to the plot.
Jane Lockhart: [the doorbell rings] Oh, you must be joking!
Tom Duval: Jane?
Jane Lockhart: Just go away!
Tom Duval: I've got to talk to you. Please, open the door.
Jane Lockhart: [Telephone rings] Hold on, a minute!
[Darsie gives Jane the telephone]
Jane Lockhart: Hello?
Voice on Telephone.: You need to hear about our great deal on home insurance.
[Smoke alarm beeps]
Voice on Telephone.: Have you ever thought about what would happen in your house caught fire?
Darsie: You're meringues, Jane.
Jane Lockhart: [Jane rushes over to the cooker] Shit! Shit! Shit!
Tom Duval: Jane? Are you okay?
Jane Lockhart: [Jane takes the lemon meringue pies out of the cooker] Shit! Shit! Jesus!
Jane Lockhart: [Tom gets the spare key and opens the door and enters and stops and stares in amazement at Jane. Her tray of lemon meringue pies conceal her bare breasts. Jane stares back in embarrassment. Tom sighs] STOP LOOKING!
[Tom closes the door and Jane races back into the kitchen]