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: Lauren, I'm not thrilled our parents are engaged either, but don't piss me off. I have access to your toothbrush!
: Thanks again for the party. I need to not be here anymore.
: Liam's parents are rich but he drives a beat up bio-diesel which means he's socially aware. His best friends are a gay guy and a feminist which means he's tolerant and accepting of strong women. And he's an artist which means deep down inside he's wounded. Amy Raudenfeld
: If only he were a vampire he'd be perfect. Now shut up, gym class was torture enough.
: Hey! What are you doing right now? Shane Harvey
: Going to school like a normal person. Did you snort some meth this morning? Amy Raudenfeld
: I need you to help me find a girlfriend. I think. Shane Harvey
: Amy, you already have a girlfriend. If these people find out you're faking they will lynch you and not even notice the irony! Amy Raudenfeld
: Well I'm not faking and that's the problem! If I'm having these feelings for Karma I must be a lesbian. Shane Harvey
: Whoa! I think it's too soon to bust out the label maker. Amy Raudenfeld
: You're the one who outed me to the entire school! Remember? Shane Harvey
: Yes. But now I realize you're much more complicated. And interesting!
: [Waiting for Amy to return from a date
] Finally! So was it love at first sight? Amy Raudenfeld
: She was really cool. I was a hot mess. Shane Harvey
: OK, moving on. Internet dating is a numbers game. Let's get back on the horse. Amy Raudenfeld
: I don't wanna meet another girl. Shane Harvey
: A boy? Amy Raudenfeld
: I don't want to meet another boy. Shane Harvey
: That limits your options.
: [See's Karma and Liam holding hands
] Red Rover, Red Rover, send Karma right over.
: Liam Booker is my boyfriend! My very first boyfriend. It's like getting your first car and, surprise, it's a Ferrari! Amy Raudenfeld
: I hear they get terrible gas mileage.
: How is posting a pic with me going to help Liam fall in love with you? Karma Ashcroft
: He's severely allergic to commitment. I'm a lesbian with a girlfriend which makes me hypoallergenic. His defenses are down, now I just need to show him how perfect we'd be together.
: [Discussing a school wide protest
] I figured you'd be more into this kind of thing being that you're Homecoming Queen and all. Amy Raudenfeld
: Nah, this is more my girlfriend's kind of thing. She get's involved in school activities, I stand back and silently hate them.
: What the hell was that? "You're only as sick as your secrets"? Liam Booker
: I'm sorry but the guilt is killing me. Amy Raudenfeld
: Oh, well this little piggy went "Boo hoo hoo" all the way home. Man up!
: So what? We just pretend it never happened? Amy Raudenfeld
: What happened? See how easy that was?
: [Discussing their exes
] Tommy's an asshole. Lauren Cooper
: Yeah, well Karma's a bitch.
: I can't pull this off much longer. I'm so clearly not a lesbian. And if everyone at school finds out we're faking it, they might overcome their opposition to the death penalty!