Louise
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Quotes for
Louise (Character)
from How to Beat the High Co$t of Living (1980)

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How to Beat the High Co$t of Living (1980)
Elaine: I know how to get the money out of the money ball!
Louise: How?
Elaine: Suck!

Louise: Oh, I don't know, there's got to be some way we can make money.
Elaine: We can make porno films and all wear ski masks.
Jane: No, Robert and I got bombed out one night. We put a little "I love you" tattoo on my ankle.
Elaine: [to Jane] Ok, we'll wear masks, you wear socks.
Louise: Come on, let's get out of here.
Elaine: What do you think about a doggy bag for the butter?

Albert: Louise, I swear to you there is no money. If you only knew what was going on in that hospital. It's not only the IRS, I'm in deep financial trouble, and I need you to hold me, to hug me, to kiss me, to reassure me that everything isn't as hopeless as it looks.
Louise: The only thing that is hopeless, Albert is that you're horny 24 hours a day.

Albert: [quoting Abraham Lincoln] You know what he said, "With malice toward none and charity to all."
Louise: And the last thing he said was "Look honey, I've got these two great seats for the theater tonight."
Albert: Jesus, why did I have to bring up Lincoln?

Elaine: [Louise has just jumped in the water to get the bag of money] I thought you said you couldn't swim!
Louise: [flailing her arms] I can't!
Elaine: [groans] Ok, You'll go get the money bag and I'll save the genius.
Jane: You know, we could split up the money right now...
Elaine: SWIM! NOW!