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: You had better learn how to play the game, and I don't mean just the game of football.
: Ladies, ever had a quarterback sandwich?
: You know Hartman, goodie-two-shoes is fidgeting around like a one-legged cat trying to bury shit on a frozen pond, until old Seth fixes him a couple of pink poontang specials. You know, that crazy drink that I fix for stewardesses? Two shots out of that and Hartman is shot to shit, freaked out. I mean, I never saw a guy having so much fun and crying at the same time!
: Drake, now, takes out a bunch of those fake dicks.
: That's not gross! Shit, gross is when you go to kiss your grandpa good night and he sticks his tongue down your throat. That's gross! Anyway, he's got one that's about 8 inches long and pink, and its got these little crinkles in it, and its got this grinder that makes it go in and out...
: The difference between winning and losing is about this much
[holds his fingers about one inch apart
] Coach Johnson
: ... Maxwell
: That's the same size as his pecker!
: Hell, Poot, we're all whores; might as well be the best.