Maggie Blake
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Quotes for
Maggie Blake (Character)
from The Family (2013/I)

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The Family (2013/I)
Fred Blake: Is everything all right?
Maggie Blake: Nothing much, just the prospect of packing up and moving again when they find out you killed the plumber.
Fred Blake: I didn't kill him, I took him to the hospital.
Maggie Blake: Why'd you beat him to a pulp? He's the only plumber within a radius of 20 miles.
Fred Blake: But he disrespected us and he made you wait on him, honey.
Maggie Blake: Geez, honey, I survived.
Fred Blake: And you know the guy was trying to rip me off, so put yourself in my shoes.
Maggie Blake: Oh, I definitely wouldn't have beaten him up. I mean, who's gonna fix the pipes now?
Fred Blake: Well who's gonna rebuild the supermarket that burned down the day we got here? Huh?

Maggie Blake: [Whispering into a party guest's ear] You're gonna take that silverware and put it where you found it, nice and easy, or else I'm gonna break both your arms.

Maggie Blake: The human body was not designed to combat saturated fat like that. The butter impregnates the tissues, and then it hardens and settles like silt. It makes your aorta stiffer than a hockey stick. Whereas olive oil - caresses your insides, leaving nothing behind but its scent.
Caputo: That's right. Oil is in the Bible.

Priest: I was expecting a parishioner who can't make it, apparently. Would you like to take his place for confession?
Maggie Blake: Me? Oh, I confess, it's been years since I went to confession.

Priest: Your confession has haunted me all week. How can you live such a hellish existence?
Maggie Blake: Isn't that the point of confession?
Priest: Your family is the incarnation of evil, and your life is a never-ending pact with the devil! Leave this holy place, for the love of God!

Bernie: [finding her hiding place] Hey, Maggie.
Maggie Blake: Hey, Bernie.
Bernie: It's good to see you again.
Maggie Blake: The feeling's not mutual, Bernie.

Maggie Blake: Hey. Did you guys see the kids go out? They're not in their rooms.
Caputo: No. They're supposed to be at home.
Maggie Blake: Oh, yeah, well. I guess they must have snuck out. That's what kids their age do, right?
Caputo: Maggie, do you have any idea where they could be?
Maggie Blake: No. I guess if you'd let them have cell phones, we could find out.
Di Cicco: Maggie, look. Stan's activated the emergency plan. You're leaving tonight.
Maggie Blake: [concerned] What's wrong? Things went badly at the film society?
Di Cicco: It was a complete disaster.
[scene switches to the film society; all the people in attendance are giving Fred a standing ovation]

Maggie Blake: Listen, sweetie, I don't know the boy, but you have to be a bit of a dork to prefer math to a beautiful girl. You know what I'm saying?
Belle Blake: By the time I'm done with him, he won't be able to count on his fingers.

Maggie Blake: So who is he?
Belle Blake: He's this teacher at the school... ah, uh, he will be a teacher. He has his exams soon, and he's been giving me private lessons.
Maggie Blake: [With innuendo] Private lessons?
Belle Blake: Math lessons, Mom!
Maggie Blake: Fine. You have condoms at least?
Belle Blake: Mom!
Maggie Blake: What?
Belle Blake: We do the lessons at school in the study hall!
Maggie Blake: So...? You know, desire sneaks up on you, honey. It never waits for the right time or place.