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Quotes for
Frank (Character)
from "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" (1990)

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"Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of the Phantom Cab (#1.1)" (1990)
Gary: Who sponsors Frank?
David: I do. He's a good guy.
Eric: But can he tell a good story?
Frank: [blindfolded, steps forward and reaches out] Who said that?

Eric: Wait a minute, wait a minute, no fair. You can't put a riddle in a story that can't be solved.
Betty Ann: Maybe it can.
Eric: Yeah, right. It's weightless, you can see it, and if you put it in a barrel it makes the barrel lighter. No way.
Kiki: Sounds like one of those riddles you can't solve.
Kristen: That's a cheat.
Gary: No - maybe it *can* be solved.
Frank: *Maybe* you should all just lighten up, and let me finish the story.

Frank: Denny and Buzz were brothers. Denny was big, strong, and smart. Buzz was, well, kind of a geek, who wanted to prove himself to his big brother. What neither guy knew, was that on this hiking trip, Buzz was gonna get the chance!

Frank: Nobody ever saw the Phantom Cab again. And when the boys brought the police back to Dr. Vink's cottage, all that was left was an old stone foundation, covered with weed.

Gary: To be a member, you have to tell us a scary tale, and then we vote. And it has to be unanimous or you're not in. Are you ready?
Frank: Yeah, I'm ready...
[in a sinister tone]
Frank: are YOU GUYS ready?
Kiki: [All the kids at once, with Kiki being the loudest] WHOOO! I'm scared now!


"Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of the Dangerous Soup (#3.13)" (1994)
[first lines]
Gary: Uh, heights. I'm not good with heights. I, uh, get sick.
Kiki: Dogs. I was bitten when I was a kid... Whenever I see one, I cross the street.
Sam: Birds.
Tucker: "Birds"?
Sam: I'm afraid they're gonna fly in my face or something.
Tucker: [shaking his head] Weird.
Betty Ann: The attic. I can't go up there alone. No way.
Tucker: Slasher movies.
Gary: Doesn't count!
Kiki: Cheat.
Tucker: What can I say? I'm not afraid of anything.
Frank: Yeah. We'll see.
Tucker: What're *you* scared of, tough guy? That box?
Frank: [Waves it threateningly at Tucker and pats his shoulder warningly as he passes] It's no secret - I'm afraid of the dark.
Kiki: [high-fives Gary] Yes! He admits it!

[last lines]
Tucker: That's weak. What if there's nothing you're afraid of? The room wouldn't work.
Frank: That's right; nothing scares you, does it? Maybe you should be the first to, uh, reach into the unknown.
[holds out the box, Tucker stands]
Tucker: What's in it?
Frank: What's the difference? You're not scared of anything anyway.
Tucker: [looks at the others] ... Yeah, that's right.
[approaches it, reaches out to touch it, then draws his hand back]
Tucker: Forget it!
[leaves]
Gary: So... what's in it?
Frank: Exactly what Tucker's afraid of.
[opens it]
Frank: Nothing.


"Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of Train Magic (#4.13)" (1995)
[first lines]
Sam: He's not coming, did he call you?
Betty Ann: No.
Kiki: Last I heard he was.
Betty Ann: Maybe he's grounded again.
Tucker: Or maybe he chickened out on coming here alone. He *is* afraid of the dark.
Sam: Well, he should've called.
[shoulders her pack and prepares to go, then stops when a light beams on her face and a train's engine and whistle are heard]
Frank: [walking up with a major flashlight and a tape-recorder] Relax. Not everybody *runs* on the same *schedule* as you.
Sam: [going back to the others as he passes] Cute.

Frank: So Tim learned about two kinds of magic: train magic, and the kind of magic that happens between brothers
[Gary and Tucker look at each other]
Frank: ... and friends.
[everyone else share glances]


"Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of Cutter's Treasure: Part 1 (#4.4)" (1994)
Gary: Tonight's a special night. Normally, when we meet around this fire to tell tales, each one of us has our own special brand of terror. Some of us tell stories of adventure...
[looks at Tucker]
Gary: Others have tales of the macabre and grotesque...
[looks at Betty Ann]
Gary: Some tell about real people trapped in unreal worlds.
[Kiki]
Gary: Or heroes searching for truth.
[Sam]
Gary: No two stories are alike. That's because no two of us are alike.
Frank: [walks up next to him] That's why two of us are telling the story tonight.
Sam: You're kidding, why?
Frank: Because it's so major it needs the best of both of us.
Gary: There's magic in it...
Frank: And mayhem! It's about an evil power so strong...
Gary: That it survived for centuries, waiting to step up and spread its terrors...

Gary: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, we call this story...
[throws powder onto the fire]
Gary, Frank: The Tale of Cutter's Treasure.


"Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of the Nightly Neighbors (#1.8)" (1992)
Eric: [to Bet] You always tell the same kind of story. It's kind of gross, but everyone always lives happily ever after. *Boring*.
Frank: So what's your problem? You're kind of gross and boring too.
Kiki: [Eric makes a yak-yak-yak noise at him, she laughs] Goof!
Betty Ann: Things *are* scarier at night. Especially in *my* story. You can be scared during the day, but don't bother, because the real terror never begins until night falls. Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society - except for Eric...

Kristen: Why do we always tell scary stories at night? I mean if they're scary, they should be just as scary during the day, right?
Gary: No way. Things are always scarier at night.
Kristen: Yeah, but why?
Frank: Because, you can't see things at night.
Kiki: Yeah, like some ghoul could sneak up on you in the dark and you wouldn't know it until it was too late.


"Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of Laughing in the Dark (#1.2)" (1992)
Kristen: That's all, I'm gone.
[gets up]
Frank: What's the matter?
Betty Ann: I was just getting started.
Kristen: [packing] This is a clown story; I hate clowns. They're creepy, they give me nightmares, where's my thermos?
Eric: Oh, oh, I heard of that. They call it Bozophobia.


"Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of Locker 22 (#2.3)" (1993)
[first lines]
Betty Ann: An axe-murderer with blood dripping from her grisly weapon.
David: Or a mummy wrapped in rotten bandages.
Frank: What about a razor-sharp hook where her hand should be?
Kiki: No, no - a zombie with sunken eyes and all stiff-like.
Gary: [comes over] I guess Kristen's up tonight.
Frank: We're, uh, trying to figure out what act she's gonna pull to scare us.
David: Well, I liked it when she dressed up as the prom queen.


"Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of Watcher's Woods (#3.3)" (1994)
Kiki: So who's this mystery guy we've been hearing about?
Betty Ann: [helps the person up] Guys - my friend Sam.
[takes the bag off HER head]
Tucker: [grinning in amazement] Your guy's a girl!
Kiki: "Sam"?
Sam: It's Samantha. My friends call me Sam.
Frank: [comes over] Yo, Sam, I'm Frank, and I think you're the hottest thing around this campfire.
Sam: Thanks. *You* can call me Samantha.
[takes the hands he holds out to shake and squeezes them painfully]
Frank: Ow, ow! Mercy, mercy!
Tucker: [laughing] The babe's got bite!


"Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of the Whispering Walls (#2.8)" (1993)
[last lines]
Betty Ann: The house still stands, and to this day, people still disappear, when the moon is full, on February twenty-ninth...
Gary: [They all grow nervous] Time to go.
Kiki: You go first.
Kristen: Uh, no, after you.
David: Not me; Frank, you go!
Frank: I'll go after Gary goes.
Gary: I'm not going first!


"Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of the Captured Souls (#1.7)" (1992)
Gary: OK, Eric, born April 28. That means you're exactly - 5,450 days, 17 hours, 15 minutes, and 37 seconds old. So - what've you been *doing* all this time?
Eric: Waiting for Kiki.
Kristen: Where'd she go?
Eric: [grinning] Must be nature calling.
[a flash and clicking noise startles him]
Eric: What the - ?
Frank: [several more occur, with the last one appearing to be aimed for him] Hey, it's a flasher.
Kiki: Gotcha!
[comes over and gives everybody a photo]
Kristen: Ew, gross, my eyes are all red!
Eric: I look 5,000 *years* old, not 5,000 *days*!
Kiki: What you see's what you get, old man.


"Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of the Twisted Claw (#1.4)" (1990)
[first lines]
Tony: [his clock stops ticking] Not again...
[his door opens, a black hooded figure enters and draws closer to the bed, he sits up abruptly to awake and find it's morning]
Tony: I hate that dream.
[sees the figure from his nightmare is standing by his bed]
Tony: AHHHHHH...!
Kiki: AHHH!
Kristen: AHHH!
Betty Ann: Oh, yeah!
Frank: Excellent, all right!
Kiki: So? What happened?
Eric: Dunno.
Frank: What do you *mean* ya don't know?
Eric: I mean I don't *know*. I'll figure something out for next time.
Betty Ann: Ooh, a cliffhanger. I love it.
Gary: Yeah, but I mean what about, tonight? It's almost lights-out and we haven't had a full story yet.
Kristen: Shouldn't call a meeting without a full story, Eric.
Eric: It's better than no story at all. Hey, I don't see anybody else jumping in.
David: ...I've got one.
Frank: Whoa, he speaks. Who woke *you* up?


"Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of the Hatching (#2.12)" (1993)
Kristen: Why don't you just tell them?
Frank: [mockingly] What's the matter, poor Davey upset about something?
David: That's why.


"Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of the Dark Music (#1.11)" (1992)
Frank: [to Eric] You're gonn pay for this, man!
Gary: Well, don't kill him yet; he's telling the story tonight.


"Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of the Quiet Librarian (#4.6)" (1994)
Frank: Headed up, big guy...
Tucker: [in a headlock under his arm] Aw, this is real fair. You're only 200 pounds heavier than me!
Kiki: Shhhhhh!
Frank: I'm not hurting him!
Kiki: I know, just - shhh!


"Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of Apartment 214 (#3.2)" (1994)
Frank: I'm dead.
Tucker: Yeah, from the neck up.
Frank: Hey - you wanna be dead from the neck *down*?


"Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of the Crimson Clown (#3.12)" (1994)
Tucker: [Gary is giving Tucker a piggyback ride through the forest] Ha ha ha, whoa big fella, whoa, ah ha ha!
Betty Ann: [laughing] What are you DOING?
[Betty-Ann lifts Tucker down from Gary's back]
Tucker: Gary's my servant for the week. Down, boy!
[Gary bends over angrily]
Betty Ann: Why?
Gary: [livid] We made a deal - DON'T ask.
Tucker: [smiling slyly] I found a poem he wrote!
Frank: [in disbelief] A POEM?
Tucker: I promised not to show it to anybody if he'd be my servant for a week!
Gary: Enough, you little crud! One more word and the deal's off!
Tucker: [in a singsong voice] No sweat! Hurry up and tell your story... I've got some dirty SOCKS that you've gotta wash!


"Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of the Closet Keepers (#4.11)" (1995)
[last lines]
Frank, Gary: Nice outfit.