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: There's been enough killing. Veronica
: Well, what d'you propose we do? Kelly
: Cripple him. Veronica
: Cripple him? Kelly
: Yeah, break his ankles, stick a hammer to his feet. Marky
: It would have to be pretty bad to stop him movin'... Kelly
: Yeah, well we'll do it bad enough he won't be going anywhere... Pippa
: I don't like it... Kelly
: Well, it's better than killing him? Riq
: Look, she's right... Marky
: What'd you think, babe? Veronica
: Pretty hard to break an ankle so it don't set back right, innit? You gotta... crack it sideways, inwards... Kelly
: Fine... Marky
: Or we could chop his Achilles tendon in the back of the heel... turns the feet into dead plates, even if he wanted to use 'em, he won't be able to operate the pedal... Space
: Where'd you learn that from, man? Marky
: Saw Jack Bauer do it on the telly. Veronica
: No! S'not real life, is it? No! If we're doin' this, we're smashin' his ankles like in that film... Mystery.
: I don't like him being in there, I really need a wee! Kelly
: It won't be for much longer, we just need to talk some sense into him... Veronica
] Good luck with that...
: Tie him in there, get it good and tight... and Space? Fuckin' gag him, anall!
: Brilliant, thank you very much for the pep-talk,
: very nice to meet you... Janice,
[to the housemates
: right, we're going, come on, let's go. Veronica
: We never decided! Patrick
: Don't tell me you believe that tit on the boob! Can't even tie a boat for Christ's sake! Riq
: I was fuckin' chased! Patrick
: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you and your reasons! Veronica
: I'm not goin'. Patrick
: Fine! Die here in Cuckoo Land!
: How about you? Veronica
: Stay. Kelly
: She's right! Patrick
: Oh, he can speak for himself! Marky
: I'm stayin'. Patrick
: Oh, grow some nuts! Marky
: Well, it's my decision, alright? All for one and that... Patrick
: Oh, right! Who'd you think you are? Love's young dream, here in fuckin' Cutie Cottage? Marky
: We're stayin' here together! Patrick
: Oh, oh, what? She's stolen your heart, has she? Marky
: Somethin' like that. Patrick
: Oh, fuckin' wake up, Mutley! She only wiped her slit up your thigh for the highlights reel, you chimp! Veronica
: No I never, you fuckwit! Patrick
: *You* would fuck a fisherman's dog if there was a Heat cover on it!
: Soon as any of us turns our backs, he is gonna be tryin' to get out them gates and fuck us all over! Space
: So we keep him tied up... Veronica
: For how long? He says it's bad outside, yeah? And we might be in here for keeps, yeah?
: Well, Looney Tunes isn't gonna stay tied up for keeps, is he? He'll get out somehow... he won't give up 'til he's got them gates opened and then it is game over for all of us! Marky
: Yeah... that's true... Kelly
: What are you trying to suggest? Why don't you just fucking come out and say it? Veronica
: Alright... alright... there ain't much room for debate, Kelly, it's extreme circumstances, innit?
: Oi, come on over here then, you wanker! Come on then! Come on then, you decomposing fucks!
: It's gotta be some terrorist bollocks... they've released some... loony gas... Space
: Loony gas...? Marky
: You got a better explanation? Joplin
: The government or army must have tested something they shouldn't! Veronica
: What, like... GM foods or somink? Joplin
: Maybe... or WiFi... God knows what that does to your molecules! Veronica
: Does this mean we're not on telly anymore?
: Does this mean we're not on telly anymore?
: [Zombie Claire sees Marky and chases after him
] Get in the van Marky, get in the van!
: [On the roof watching the Zombies
] Who... are they? Kelly
: [Looks at Zombie Claire feasting on a corpse
] Her name was Claire. Veronica
: And they're dead? Kelly
: [Looking at Zombie Angel in the pool
] Quite stupid, ain't they? Space
: Not the brightest bunch... can't even get out the side... Marky
: Don't know they're dead... Joplin
: Good old British public... Kelly
: Yeah... you're right... you're all right; they're thick as shit. So as long as we're still breathing, we're smarter than them. And that's why we're gonna beat 'em.
[Kelly shoots the zombie Angel in the head
: Right, then, focus. Joplin
: Er, yes, I'm trying to focus! Okay, I'm, I'm trying to visualise... Veronica
: Fuck that! Just make sure you pin his head down under that, cover his teeth! Joplin
: And what if he gets loose? Veronica
: Well do it right and he won't! Joplin
: Yeah, but *what* if he does? Veronica
: Well, then he'll probably kill us! What do you want me to say? Stop being a nine year old!
: [whilst showering naked while Joplin watches her through the one-sided mirrors
] I know you're there, Joplin. I mean, you should've just asked me for a quick flash. 'Cos its the end of the world and I might of felt sorry for ya. But you didn't. Which is a shame. 'Cos what you're doing is a bit creepy, innit?
: Veronica...? Veronica
: Yeah? Joplin
: Would you like a cup of tea? Veronica
: Alright, thanks... Joplin
: Sorry... is that "alright, thanks" as in you would like one, or, er, "I'm alright thanks, I wouldn't"? Veronica
: Second one! Joplin
: Sorry, is, is... Veronica
: I *don't* want one!
: It's like a loser's convention in here! Proud of yourselves? Kelly
: Want another fag, Patrick? Patrick
: Oddly enough, I don't, Kathy... Kelly
: Kelly... Patrick
: Yeah, whatever... we need an escape plan. Space
: Like we haven't thought of that. Patrick
] Think of it as a Task, if that helps... c'mon! We should hit the road! Space
: We can't get to the road no more. Patrick
: You haven't fucking tried! Kelly
: Patrick, I agree with you, Patrick? I agree with you, I do. But there's no way through those gates, I mean, you've seen them... Patrick
: We've got the keys to our van! So we'll just drive, we'll drive away! Space
: You can't just drive past, alright? They're not gonna step aside like some fuckin' chambermaids! Patrick
: Well... just... well... we'll distract them! We'll distract them! We'll bait them away! Okay? We'll bait them away from the gates long enough and then we'll drive straight through! Space
: With what? A ball of string? Patrick
: Well, look, they eat flesh, don't they? Right? That's what they eat...
[points to Grayson's corpse
: we'll give 'em some! There's a man-sized portion of Pedigree Chum laying right there! Space
: Fuck up! Patrick
: No! We'll chop him up!
[Pippa and Veronica scream in shock and disgust
: We'll chop him up! We'll chop the best bits to the fucking ghoulies, they'll run after that, "munch, munch, thank you very much!", we'll drive straight through! Veronica
: You're *not* doing that! Patrick
: I didn't say it was gonna be a gentile parlour game, ya titted fuckin' idiot! But it is WORTH A PISSING SHOT!
: Why'd they keep comin' towards the house like that? Marky
: I'm glad they do. Easier to pick off. Veronica
: Yeah, but *why*? Joplin
: Some kind of... primitive intuition, maybe? They feel the need to be near us, don't forget, this place used to be like a church to them. Marky
: Maybe... they can just smell bullshit.
: He took a poo in there and it was disgusting! Patrick
: Woah, woah. What the fuck is wrong with you?
: Something is wrong! Veronica
: What? Space
: No mics, no alarms and the cameras ain't movin'. Big Brother ain't watchin' *us*!
: That's your eviction outfit? Marky
: Well... yeah. No good? Veronica
: Mark, you look like a div.