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[Jane asks Trudy into her office; Mr. John walks in a moment later
] Jane Sokol
: Actually, Mr. John, I just wanted to talk to Trudy. Mr. John
: Yes, Jane, but wouldn't you rather tell me directly rather than risk Trudy leaving out some crucial bit when she tells me later? Trudy Weissman
: He's got a point, Jane.
: Chelsea, in the Midwest when we have a dispute with somebody, we do something very simple... Trudy Weissman
: Burn a cross on their lawn? Jane Sokol
: No! Trudy Weissman
: It was a good guess though, right?
: Is Chelsea in yet? Trudy Weissman
: Well, let's see. Air? Mr. John
: On. Trudy Weissman
: Muffin basket? Mr. John
: Empty. Trudy Weissman
: Buttocks? Mr. John
: Completely relaxed. Trudy Weissman
: She's not in.
: Since it's Chelsea's birthday today, I thought that I... Trudy Weissman
: Oh God, she made a cake! Mr. John
: Have you gone mad, Jane? Jane Sokol
: What's the problem? Trudy Weissman
: Jane, you have prepared a baked good for Chelsea Stevens, America's high priestess of style and good taste. Bobby
: Bringing Chelsea a cake is like giving Michaelangelo a statue of a big naked guy. He's already got one and it's a hell of a lot better than yours.
: Bobby, we're working. Shouldn't you be out chasing an ambulance or something? Bobby
: Helloooo, kitty. You know what? I'll just get this right out in the open and deal with it. You dig me. Jane Sokol
: I don't think so. Bobby
: Oh, I think so! I walk into a room and you play cool, but I know you're bubbling over like a pot of Maxwell House. Trudy Weissman
: Too bad for you, Bobby, Jane likes her coffee black... You know what, that didn't come out the way I meant it... Or maybe I've stumbled onto something.
[Terry bites into a metal wing-nut in his candy bar
] Trudy Weissman
: This is your lucky day because now you get to write a letter of complaint to the candy company. Mr. John
: Trudy's right. I once found a dead beetle in a bottle of champagne. I wrote the company a letter of complaint and imagine my delight when they sent me three cases of bubbly! Trudy Weissman
: You see? Mr. John
: Of course, I couldn't open a single bottle without retching uncontrollably.
: He is without a doubt the worst lover I have ever had, and I'm kind of a slut, so we're talking a lotta guys here. In the three months we were together, we had sex 78 times. You know how long it took to have all that sex? 19 minutes and 22 seconds! Bobby
: You don't know that! Felicia
: Oh yes, I do, I kept a log. And after every time we did it, I made a note in my book. Bobby
: I never saw you doing that. Felicia
: Oh, you wanna know why? Trudy Weissman
: Oooh, can I take this one, Felicia? Felicia
: Go ahead.
[Trudy stands, leans in close to Bobby's and yells
] Trudy Weissman
: Because you were asleep!