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Quotes for
Honey Nielsen (Character)
from "Hi Honey, I'm Home" (1991)

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"Hi Honey, I'm Home: Take My Son Please (#2.3)" (1992)
Elaine Duff: [while she and Honey fight about her suspicions that Skunk was involved in the Chucky's Johnson Heist] How dare you come into my home without proof and accuse my son of aiding in a betting that little snot nose of yours?
Honey Nielsen: Don't you dare call my son a snot nose!
Elaine Duff: And don't you dare call my son a thief!
Honey Nielsen: You call him worse things than that, don't you?
Elaine Duff: I'm his mother! I can call him anything I want!
Honey Nielsen: Some mother you must me! Any mother in that voice handy picked up on the street!
Elaine Duff: And who voted you mother of the year? When was the last time you were at a school board meeting? Huh? And when did you stand up to protect your child's right to read?
Honey Nielsen: Oh, get off your high horse, missy! You're always yak, yak, yaking about how to make the world a better place for our children! Meanwhile, your son is going to heck in a handbasket!
Elaine Duff: My kid is my responsibility, not yours! Now take a hike, Betty Crocker!
Honey Nielsen: With pleasure!
[leaves]

Honey Neilson: [When she, Lloyd and Elaine are punishing their youngest sons for ripping off the Johnsons] How long do you think it will take them to work off 200 dollars?
Elaine Duff: I don't know. It's a lot of lawns to mow.

Honey Nielsen: [crying after she and Lloyd send Chucky to his room] That poor boy. He's got the weight of the world on his shoulders.
[doorbell rings]
Honey Nielsen: I'll... I'll...
Lloyd Nielsen: I'll get it. Let's get our hands on the kid who put him up to this. But who could be so low, so twisted, so deceitful?
[Skunk enters]
Lloyd Nielsen: Hi, Skunk.
Sidney 'Skunk' Duff: Yo, Mrs. N. My mom wants to borrow some oven cleaners.


"Hi Honey, I'm Home: Hi Mom, I'm Not Home (#1.4)" (1991)
Elaine Duff: Honey?
Honey Nielsen: Yes?
Elaine Duff: I want to tell you a story.
Honey Nielsen: I love stories.
Elaine Duff: It's about 2 women who live next door to each other.
Honey Nielsen: Like us?
Elaine Duff: Right! You and me. And one of them had a son who spent all of his time at the other one's house.
Honey Nielsen: Like us!
Elaine Duff: Right! You and me! And that mother plied that boy with turkey and snicker doodles and all of his favorite things and made his mother look like Doodie.
Honey Nielsen: Howdy doodie?
Elaine Duff: No such luck!
Honey Nielsen: Oh, pooh! Elaine, I never meant to intrude but you just always seem so busy.
Elaine Duff: Yeah, I'm working.
Honey Nielsen: Well, if that's all it is, why not just give up your job?
Elaine Duff: Now, why didn't I think of doing that? Just one thing. Who's gonna pay the rent?
Honey Nielsen: Oh! Well, I know. Maybe you can just cut out some of those pesky evening activities.
Elaine Duff: I go to meetings and rallies to try to make this world a better place for my boys. Look, Honey, I do my best. I really do. And I wish I could spend more time with my kids but guess what. Lately, when I try to make time, they're not interested.
Honey Nielsen: Oh, Elaine.
Elaine Duff: Oh, I don't know. Maybe Skunk is a lost cause but Mike used to be my best pal ever since his father left us and it hurts me that he wants to spend his birthday with you and not me.
Honey Nielsen: [starts to cry] Oh, Elaine. I'm so sorry.
Honey Nielsen: Oh, geez, this isn't your fault.
Honey Nielsen: [crying] Oh, yes it is! I never knew. But now I do. I really do. Oh, you must think I'm nothing but a... a home wrecker!
Elaine Duff: No, you're not, Honey!
Honey Nielsen: [crying] Don't look at me. I don't deserve it.
Elaine Duff: Honey! Cookie? Oh boy, I'm gonna be late for work. I better get that. Are you gonna be OK?

Honey Nielsen: Oh, yes! I feel so much better now that we've had this little talk and Elaine, I promise you everything is gonna be all right. I know it is.
[Elaine leaves for work]
Honey Nielsen: Because I'm gonna make it all right.