Christy
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Quotes for
Christy (Character)
from "Mom" (2013)

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"Mom: Godzilla and a Sprig of Mint (#2.9)" (2015)
Christy: [Christy has just discovered Andy's S&M dungeon, having thought he was relatively normal] And... the wedding's off.
Andy: [Andy appears at the door in his underwear, wearing a dog collar and leash] Do you like what you see?
Christy: Andy! Look at you! What's happening now?
Andy: You said you liked to be adventurous.
Christy: Yeah... but I meant, like, pancakes for dinner.

Christy: Where are you going to be?
Violet: The library.
Christy: Make sure the "library" uses a condom.


"Mom: Kimchi and a Monkey Playing Harmonica (#2.5)" (2014)
Bonnie: Do you know the definition of insanity is...
Christy: Yes, I know the definition of insanity! I live with you!


"Mom: Thigh Gap and a Rack of Lamb (#3.2)" (2015)
Jodi: [Arriving at Christy and Bonnie's house] You sure this isn't a problem?
Christy: Not at all. My son's spending the week with his Dad, so we have an extra room.
Jodi: This is real nice of you.
Bonnie: Hey, it's what we do. Someone took me in when I was in trouble.
Christy: That was me. I did that. Twice.
Bonnie: Get off the cross. We need the wood.


"Mom: Hepatitis and Lemon Zest (#2.1)" (2014)
Christy: [Christy has been mugged, but Bonnie does not believe her] I did get mugged!
Bonnie: Sure, you did. Let me guess, he was a big scary looking black guy?
Christy: He was!
Bonnie: Shame on you, Christy!
Christy: It's not my fault he perpetuates a stereotype!
Bonnie: Save it! We don't have time for your racism. Now do we have any cash for our heartless Armenian landlord?


"Mom: Sticky Hands and a Walk on the Wild Side (#3.13)" (2016)
Christy: [the smugglers have left the ladies alone with the huge barrel of syrup] Thanks for the help, fellas!
[pause]
Christy: Canadian dicks.
Bonnie: Mexican criminals are so much more courteous.
Christy: 'Til they make you dig your own grave.


"Mom: Dropped Soap and a Big Guy on a Throne (#2.18)" (2015)
Christy: All right, I'm going to work, Do you need anything?
Bonnie: I'm fine, got my chips, got some tea, got my remote.
Christy, Bonnie: Do you need to go pee-pee?
Bonnie: ...No.