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: [about the old typewriter
] I'll take it, Trish! I'm sure to win the contest with this. Chuck
: [appearing in the door opening
] Not so fast, Red! Dez
: Chuck! Chuck
: I entered the contest too. Dez
: You're wasting your time, Chuck. I'm gonna win this short story contest. Chuck
: You wish. My story's so short, you can see its feet on its driver's license. Dez
: My story's so short, it's not allowed to go on any carnival rides. Chuck
: My story's so short, when it sits on a dime, its feet don't touch the ground. Dez
: My story's so short, that it's...! Um... that it's, uh... Chuck
: I think I smell smoke. Must be your brain on overdrive.
: I hope you're prepared to lose that contest, Dez-aster. 'Cause I'm gonna write the coolest story ever. Dez
: Please. My story's so cool, it's gonna host the next Winter Olympics. Chuck
: My story's so cool, when my air conditioner breaks, I stand next to my story to cool down. Dez
: Yeah, well, my story's so cool, because everything I write with my magic typewriter, comes true.
[gasps as he realizes his mistake
: I'm gonna win the cake baking contest. Chuck
: Not so fast, Red! I'm gonna win, 'cause I bake the sweetest cakes. Dez
: Please. My cake's so sweet, you get a cavity just by looking at it. Chuck
: Yeah? My cake's so sweet, my grandma wants to squeeze its cheeks every time she sees it. Dez
: My cake's so sweet, instead of having a sweet sixteen party, girls have a 'my cake' sweet sixteen party. Chuck
: Well, my cake is so sweet, instead of having sweet sixteen parties, girls... have... my cake... sweet sixteen parties. You already said that! Dez
: Ha! Sweet, sweet victory. Or should I say, "my cake, my cake" victory.
: The barbecue sauce with the strongest flavor wins. And that's gonna be mine. My sauce is so strong, they can do fifty one-handed push-ups. Dez
: Oh yeah? Well, my sauce is so strong, it won Olympic gold medal in weightlifting. Chuck
: My sauce is so strong, when superheroes are in trouble, they call my sauce for help. Dez
: My sauce is so strong, it's doing a buddy cop movie with The Rock. Chuck
: My sauce is so strong, they're thinking about renaming Hercules, My Sauce... eles. Dez
: Okay, that one doesn't even make sense.
: My chili's so hot, you have to stick your tongue in fire to cool it off. Dez
: Oh yeah? Well, my chili's so hot, NASA uses it for rocket fuel. Chuck
: My chili's so hot, it's a second leading cause of global warming. Dez
: Well, my chili's so hot, you have to put a smoke detector in your underwear before you eat it. Chuck
: My chili's so hot, they're thinking about renaming the sun, "my chili." Dez
: Yeah? Well, my chili's so hot, it... it... it...
: I'm so tough, NAVY Seals wanna be me when they grow up. Chuck
: I'm so tough, when something bad happens, people don't say, "tough luck." They say, "Chuck luck." Dez
: I'm so tough, if I were a math problem, I'd be impossible to solve.
: My cheers are so loud, I get noise complaints. From dead people. Dez
: My cheers are so loud, they give out ear plugs with a warning. "Warning: My cheers are loud." Chuck
: Well, my cheers are so loud, when I cheer in Florida, they tell me to keep it down!... in Canada.
: We put aside our differences in the interest of creating a great yearbook. Chuck
: Yeah. I decided to be the better man. Dez
: Actually, I'm the better... better man. Chuck
: Oh yeah? Well, I'm so much better, that instead of a best man at a wedding, they have a "Chuck man!" Dez
: Oh yeah? I'm so much better, that instead of a dog winning "Best in Show," they win "Dez in Show!" Chuck
: Oh yeah? Well, I'm so much better, that instead of BFFs, they have "CFFs" - "Chuck Friends Forever!"
: My tux is so sharp, it comes with safety goggles. Dez
: Oh yeah? My tux is so sharp, I got a paper cut just putting it on. Chuck
: My tux is so sharp, Japanese chefs use it chop vegetables tableside.
[pretends to do that. Dez "catches" one in the air and then "eats" it
: My tux is so sharp, teachers warn little kids not to run with it. Chuck
: My tux is so sharp, instead of pencil sharpeners, people use pencil my-tux-eners. Dez
: Okay, that one didn't make any sense. Chuck
: Eh, I'll admit that one was a stretch.
: My float's such a winner, when people win the lottery, they'll say, "Congratulations, you are the lucky Chuck's float." Dez
: Oh yeah? My float's such a winner, it'll win the Oscar for best picture, best supporting actress, and oh yeah, best float. Chuck
: My float's such a winner, they'll have parades in its honor. My float will have floats.