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[Duke has just revamped Jay's show in an attempt to raise ratings, with Jay acting as a ventriloquist's dummy
] Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
: Welcome to "Coming Attractions." I'm Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and this is Little Knothead. Jay Sherman
: This is so demeaning. I have a PhD in film! Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
: Okay, Dr. Knothead, why don't you sing "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" while I drink a glass of water. Jay Sherman
] John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt / That's my name too! I spit in the water. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
: [spits water
] Knothead! Franklin Sherman
: [the Shermans are watching
] Didn't we used to have a Knothead doll? Eleanor Sherman
: That was our son!
: You're out of here, Jabbar! Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
: Are you nuts? It's my farewell game. Mickey
: Well then, let me be the first to say farewell.