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Quotes for
Boink (Character)
from "Zazoo U" (1990)

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"Zazoo U: The Search for the Meaning of Life (#1.3)" (1990)
Tess: What was that? Was it gym? I mean, what did it all mean, you know what I mean?
Ms. Devine: Oh, tomboyish little girl, I must have a chat with you!
Tess: Uh... you must?
Ms. Devine: Yes, dear, I must! I must talk woman-to-woman with you! For you and I, Tess dear, are the ONLY women here! And I have decided to be your role model!
Tess: You... you have?
Ms. Devine: Yes! And I want to instruct you in the ways of women! Come, Tess!
Boink: Can I come too?
Ms. Devine: Yes, but only if you wear this! This IS after all GIRL Talk!
[puts a wig on Boink]
Boink: Well, this is weird. I never saw myself as a blonde.

Tess: Wow, the teacher's lounge! Boink, we're in the Teacher's Lounge!
Boink: [the wig covering his head] They sure keep it dark in here...

Ms. Devine: I am WOMAN! I use make-up! Lots and lots of make-up! Lipstick, rouge, eyeliner, mascara! Won't you join me in MY world? Don't you want to know the Meaning of Life?
Tess: Uh, no...
Boink: Sure you do, I gotta see how this ends!

Boink: Do I have "Welcome" written on my back?
Tess: Look on the bright side: they took off that ridiculous makeup! I mean, if wearing makeup is the Meaning of Life, I'm in for a long rough rest of my life. I mean, that can't be the Meaning of Life!
Boink: Then what is?
Tess: I don't know. But I'm gonna find out.

Tess: There's gotta be something about the Meaning of Life in the library, don't you think?
Boink: Um, I already asked... that book's been checked out.

Boink: [at the library] Yoohoo! Doctor Russell, come out! Don't be afraid, we're only students!
[a heap of books fall on Boink and Tess]
Tess: Hey, watch it, you big...
[sees it was Doctor Russell]
Tess: ...intellectual, you.

Dr. Russell: Are you students operative?
Boink: What'd you say? I can't hear you!
Dr. Russell: Your exceedingly low altitude renders you profoundly incomprehensible, I'm afraid!
Tess: I can't understand him. I mean, I can never understand him, but now I can't even hear him either, understand?
Dr. Russell: Ah, I comprehend!

Ms. Devine: Greetings! It's time for another beauty moment!
Boink: Do I have to wear the wig?
Ms. Devine: [drops it on him] Yes!

Bully: [recites Professor Zork's poem] Music! The Meaning of Life, is music! You see, all of creation - you, me, the flowers and even the bugs - have a song to sing, our own melody within the big picture! The Meaning of Life is found in our search and our singing of that song!
Boink: That's... that's really beautiful, man.
Tess: Wow, I didn't know Zork could write like that.
Bully: He can't. He took it off the back of a box of Yuppy Puppy cereal. But I like it!
Tess: Geez, shot down again! I just can't believe the Meaning of Life comes from the back of a box of cereal!
Boink: [looks at the box] Well, it says here Yuppy Puppy's the breakfast of champion philosophers...

Tess: It's lunchtime, and I still don't know the Meaning of Life!
Boink: Oh, well. A Zen Master once said, "When you finish your dinner, wash your plate."
Tess: What does that mean?
Boink: I don't know, my mom uses paper plates...

Tess: A video cassette about the Meaning of Life?
Boink: Don't think about it, play it! We've only got a little bit of time before classes start!

Boink: Mr Seymour won't mind playing the tape for you.
Tess: Mr Seymour lives in that TV, I don't think he has a choice!
Seymour: You're right, I don't! But YOU do!

Tess: [sees Boink working at Karl's] What are you doing here?
Boink: [sheepish] Part-time after-school job. Saving up to buy a bike.

Tess: One Meaning of Life, please.
Boink: You want fries with that?
Tess: Uh-huh, I missed lunch.

Tess: But WHY do we have to have gym class? What's the point of wearing stupid outfits and jumping up and down like a jerk?
Boink: [opens a chart] It increases blood flow! See, each one of my blood cells gets real, real happy when I jump up and down and make them go real fast! If you took them to a fun park, they'd go right for the rollercoaster! Sometimes, my blood has more fun than I do!

Tess: What's the Meaning of Life?
Dr. Russell: I love that question!
Boink: Yeah, could you give us the short answer?
Dr. Russell: Well, I can't. But the philosopher Kierkegaard can. Kirky said "Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards." Adios, muchachos.
[walks away, backwards]
Boink: Kirky, huh? Think they go bowling together?
Tess: First I get painted, then attacked by acrobats! And now I'm confused by a philosopher who bowls!

[Tess is talking with Boink and Grizzle]
Boink: [pulls out wigs] Better slap this on, here comes Miss Devine! Here, Griz, I'll explain later...
[jams a wig on himself and Grizzle]
Ms. Devine: There you are, Tess! I want to take you on a shopping field trip to the mall!
Tess: Um... Miss Devine, this beauty stuff isn't really my thing, you know, I kinda like the way I am, if that's okay with you, you know what I mean?
Ms. Devine: Well, of course I do! I'm a teacher! Ta-ta!
[as she turns to leave, she spots Griz]
Ms. Devine: Well, thank goodness! This school is finally getting more female students! We must chat later!

"Zazoo U: Yesterday's Zoo (#1.4)" (1990)
Tess: [sees three tunnels] You know what this means, don't you?
Boink, Bully: No!
Tess: Jeez, when you gotta explain simple plot devices... we split up, each of us takes a different tunnel!
Boink, Bully: Oh, yeah!
Bully: Why didn't we think of that?
Boink: Well, Tess's mom and dad let her stay up late and watch old movies...

[Boink is sucked into a pinball game]
Boink: You know, I never really got into pinball before. This could be fun, challenging.
[a giant ball appears]
Boink: Then again...

[a fire sprinkler goes off, Boink takes out some potted plants]
Boink: This is a lot easier than getting my plants a drink at the water fountain...

Bully: Secret doorway...
Boink: Think this is where they keep the secret mops?

Boink: [turns off the water supply to the sprinklers] Too bad we can't do this at picnics...

[at the janitor's office]
Tess: Do we knock?
Boink: Nah, let's bravely go where no student has gone before.
Bully: This is a tense moment...

Boink: My dad told me about hula hoops... not much to tell.

Ms. Devine: [to Boink, Tess and Bully] Would you and you and, oh yes, you, be dears and find the janitor? Tell him to bring a mop!
Boink, Bully, Tess: Janitor?
Ms. Devine: Yes! You, know, those quaint lonely men with the names on their pockets? Tell him to clean up this mess, immediatement!
Grizzle: What mess?

Tess: Oh, great. It's pitch black, how are we gonna find anything in this?
Boink: I got an idea!
[a lightbulb, symbolizing an idea, forms; he puts it on]
Bully: Bright idea!