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Quotes for
Lonny (Character)
from Rock of Ages (2012)

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Rock of Ages (2012)
Sherrie Christian: He's better than Concrete Balls.
Lonny: That's a good point, Concrete Balls are very heavy.

Dennis Dupree: I just threw up.
Lonny: Where?
Dennis Dupree: In my pants... out of my ass.

Lonny: [looking at Patricia Whitmore] Now look at him, married to a woman who looks like she's been hibernating in Margaret Thatcher's bumhole.

Lonny: Why is everybody quitting today?

Lonny: Drew... what's the name of your band, mate?
Drew Boley: Wolfgang Von Colt.
Lonny: ...and you're sticking with that are you?
Drew Boley: Yeah...
Lonny: [to audience] Please welcome to the stage very poorly titled Wolfgang Van Colt!
Drew Boley: ...Von Colt.
Lonny: [to Drew] It's not an improvement.
[to audience]
Lonny: Wolfgang VON Colt!

Lonny: [to Drew] You beautiful bastard.

Lonny: [playing "Donkey Kong" arcade game] No! Nobody puts Donkey in the corner!

Dennis Dupree: Shit! Our opener just dropped out.
Lonny: Concrete Balls?
Dennis Dupree: They're in rehab.
Lonny: Both of them?
Dennis Dupree: There's six of them!
Lonny: Jesus, that band's got a lot of balls!
Dennis Dupree: Betty Ford had a group rate.
Lonny: Do you think they do therapy individually, or in pairs?
Dennis Dupree: Knock it off!

Lonny: [to audience] Performing on this stage later will be none other than Stacee Jaxx!
[crowd cheers]
Lonny: ...but first! Making their debut on the Bourbon stage, the less important, but still somehow worthwhile...
[uncrumbles piece of paper and reads from]
Lonny: ... Z Guyeez... z?
Lonny: [shrugs] Eh, sure, give it a whirl I suppose.

Crowd: Stacee! Stacee! Stacee!
Lonny: Ladies and gentlemen are you ready to rock? Welcome to the famous Bourbon Room on the Sunset Strip... Stacee Jaxx and Arsenal!
Stacee Jaxx: Hey Los Angeles! This is a little song called "Paradise City"!