Chris Hillard
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Quotes for
Chris Hillard (Character)
from Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

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Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
Daniel: I got off early.
Lydie: You mean you got fired?
Daniel: No, I quit. For reasons of conscience.
Lydie: Actors.
Daniel: [to Chris] Hey, dude! Congratulations on your twelfth birthday, all right! Got a surprise for you!
Chris: Ooh, a stripper?
Daniel: No, please!
Chris: Two strippers?
Daniel: Haw, boy!

Chris: You don't really like wearin' that stuff, do you, Dad?
Daniel: [as Daniel] Well, some of it's comfortable. No! It's a pain in the padded ass!

[after seeing "Mrs. Doubtfire" peeing while standing up]
Chris: Lydia! We gotta call the cops! We gotta dial 911 now!
Lydie: Why?
Chris: [stammering] Mrs. Doubtfire! He's a she! She's a he! He's a she-she.
Lydie: What?
Chris: He's half-man, half-woman.
Lydie: [screams] WHAT?

Lydie: Freeze, or you're gonna get it.
Chris: In the balls.
Lydie: Yeah.
[pause]
Lydie: She's got 'em?
Chris: She's got everything.
Daniel: [as Mrs. Doubtfire; in his own voice] All right. Listen to me. I'm not... who you think I am.
Chris: Yeah, no shit.
Daniel: Watch your mouth, young man.