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: I got off early. Lydie
: You mean you got fired? Daniel
: No, I quit. For reasons of conscience. Lydie
: Actors. Daniel
: [to Chris
] Hey, dude! Congratulations on your twelfth birthday, all right! Got a surprise for you! Chris
: Ooh, a stripper? Daniel
: No, please! Chris
: Two strippers? Daniel
: Haw, boy!
: You don't really like wearin' that stuff, do you, Dad? Daniel
: [as Daniel
] Well, some of it's comfortable. No! It's a pain in the padded ass!
[after seeing "Mrs. Doubtfire" peeing while standing up
: Lydia! We gotta call the cops! We gotta dial 911 now! Lydie
: Why? Chris
] Mrs. Doubtfire! He's a she! She's a he! He's a she-she. Lydie
: What? Chris
: He's half-man, half-woman. Lydie
: Freeze, or you're gonna get it. Chris
: In the balls. Lydie
: She's got 'em? Chris
: She's got everything. Daniel
: [as Mrs. Doubtfire; in his own voice
] All right. Listen to me. I'm not... who you think I am. Chris
: Yeah, no shit. Daniel
: Watch your mouth, young man.