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: [as Cam sees Marty trying to open the door
] Push it. Mitch
: Push it. Marty Huggins
: Push it, push it real good?
: I heard your nickname was Tickleshits in high school, I'm gonna see if it's true!
[tackles Huggins and starts to tickle him
] Marty Huggins
: [starts to giggle
] Tim Wattley
: Don't you dare shit your pants, Marty!
: My heart is pounding. Like a phone book in a dryer.
: What's it all about? Cam Brady
: America, Jesus, freedom.
: [on answering machine
] Hey Shana. It's congressman Cam Brady here. I just stepped away from a family dinner to tell you I wish I wasn't eating fried steak. I wish I was eating Shana pussy. Seriously, baby, you get me so hard my dick presses against my zipper and it hurts like a motherfucker. What else? Oh, hey, I got your parents tickets to The Producers. And, oh, yeah, let's do something crazy weird next time like lick each other's buttholes in a Denny's bathroom. All right, I gotta go. Cam Brady in '012.
: You know the difference between you mum and a washing machine? The washing machine does not follow me around when I dump a load in it.
: Because Filipino tilt-a-whirl operators are our nation's backbone.
: [after getting bit by a snake
] He spilled the venom from my blood! It's a miracle!
: People are taking this thing entirely out of context. Mitch
: No. You did punch that baby. Cam Brady
: Is anyone asking how my hand feels after punching that iron like jaw of that baby? I can barely make a fist!
: [Cam Brady has just left an offensive message on a family's answering machine
] By being in the same room as that machine, the kids became consenting adults! And this is 2012, who still has an answering machine in this day and age? In my lifetime, I have made over 100,000 phone calls and maybe 1,000 of them are obscene! That's a very small percentage.
: Wouldn't you like to hear Cam Brady recite the Lord's Prayer? Cam Brady
: If the media would mind turning off all their recording devices and closing their eyes.
[observes Mitch helping him
] Cam Brady
: Our Father, Art, who is up in Heaven. Aloe Vera be thy name. The thigh... Thy kingdom... come... the magic kingdom. As it is on Earth in a helicopter. Give us this day our daily... pizza. And let us digest it. Forgive us, forgive our passes we forget sometimes. On women folk with their... to dine, like that is a nice caboose you got there.
[is cut off
] Cam Brady
: That's not part of it, I know that. Keep your heads bowed please. Forgive our tress passes. And lead us not into the Temptations for we are tired of their music and dancing. And deliver us from evil with your sword and mighty falcon. Forever and ever and ever. Amen.
: You get my son to call you daddy. I *fuck* your wife!
: Cam Brady: I Crapped Gold!