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Quotes for
Filburt Turtle (Character)
from "Rocko's Modern Life" (1993)

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"Rocko's Modern Life: Born to Spawn/Uniform Behavior (#2.9)" (1995)
Filburt Turtle: Oh, boy. It's happening.
Rocko: What's happening?
Filburt Turtle: Every turtle, upon reaching its 21st birthday, must migrate back to its birthplace in order to become an, gulp, adult.
[panicking]
Filburt Turtle: You guys gotta help me. I don't wanna be an adult. I've heard horrible stories about brand and strange undergarments.

Filburt Turtle: [wants Spunky to help him escape] Spunky. SPUNKY. Here, boy.
[whistles]
Filburt Turtle: Come to your Uncle Filburt.
[Spunky comes over]
Filburt Turtle: That's it. That a boy. You love your Uncle Filburt, don't you, boy?
[Spunky nods]
Filburt Turtle: YEAH. You'd help your Uncle Filburt get to Kerrplopitgoes Island, right?
[Spunky nods]
Filburt Turtle: YES. Well, listen up. What you need to do is go to the garage. On the right wall, next to the toolbox, you'll find an acetylene torch.

Filburt Turtle: [yelling to Rocko and Heffer] Hey, guys! Guys, it's me! Hey! Hey, it's me, guys! See?
[pulls off his wig]
Rocko, Heffer Wolfe: Filburt?
Filburt Turtle: Shh. Everyone here knows me as Steve.

Filburt Turtle: So what's happenin'?
Rocko: Filburt, uh, I mean Steve, uh, we've come to rescue you from the clutches of mother nature, remember? Rescue you from adulthood and take you back to O-Town?
Filburt Turtle: [laughs] O-Town? O-Town? More like bore town. Get what I mean?
Mario: Steve! Steve! Steve! We're all ready for you to teach us The Hustle.
Filburt Turtle: Be right there, Mario.
[to Rocko and Heffer]
Filburt Turtle: Listen guys, I'd love to stay and chat, but I gotta boogie. I'm staying here at Club Spawn. Being an adult is great. Oh, and if you guys are gonna hang around, you might put on some spandex threads. If you know what I mean.
Heffer Wolfe: [starts sobbing]
Rocko: I know how you feel, Heff. We just lost Filburt to Kerrplopitgoes Island.
Heffer Wolfe: [sobbing] But I don't own any spandex!


"Rocko's Modern Life: The Lounge Singer/She's the Toad (#2.3)" (1994)
Filburt Shellbach: [singing] Short and fat and green and warty / The toads from Okefenokee they party / When they party, yes, wen they party / They go R-I-B-B-I-T.

[Heffer and Filburt enter Conglomo in a Ed Bighead costume]
Receptionist: Morning, Mr. Bighead. Feeling better today?
Heffer Wolfe: Okay, watch this.
Receptionist: [Imitates Ed] I'm Mr. Bighead, and, boy, am I ever grouchy!
Receptionist: Of course, sir. They're waiting for you in the boardroom.
Filburt Shellbach: Thank you.
[Snickers]

Filburt Shellbach: Ed! Ed! You have been charged with treason. How do you plead, froggy-lips?
Heffer Wolfe: He looks funny.
Filburt Shellbach: Shut up! Ed, I am your conscience.
Heffer Wolfe: I'm his conscience, too.
Filburt Shellbach: What?
Heffer Wolfe: Don't say I, say we.
Filburt Shellbach: What?
Heffer Wolfe: We! We!
Filburt Shellbach: All right. Wee-wee!
Heffer Wolfe: [Snickers] You said "wee-wee." Say it again.
Filburt Shellbach: Wee-wee!

Filburt Shellbach: Citizens of Conglomo, repeat after me. Wee-wee!
Crowd: Wee-wee!
Heffer Wolfe: [Laughs] Say it again!
Crowd: Wee-wee! Wee-wee! Wee-wee!


"Rocko's Modern Life: Hair Licked/Gutter Balls (#2.10)" (1995)
Rocko: [Mr. Bighead has asked Rocko and his friends to go bowling] Bowling? We've never been bowling.
Heffer Wolfe: I've heard they got greasy cuisine at bowling alleys.
Filburt Turtle: And you get to wear those cool shoes.
Heffer Wolfe, Filburt Turtle: We're in.

Ferb: [announcing] Attention, bowlers. The O-Town Bowl -O- Rama Amateur League Championship Game will now begin. It's Bighead's Gutter Gals versus The Losers, now on Lane 13.
Filburt Turtle: [getting worried] Lane 13? That's terribly unlucky.
Heffer Wolfe: Yeah, unlucky for the slobs we're bowlin' against.
Virginia Wolfe: Heffer!
Heffer Wolfe: Oops. Sorry, Mom.


"Rocko's Modern Life: Keeping Up with the Bigheads/Skid Marks (#1.4)" (1993)
Filburt Turtle: These computer screens are radioactive, and the plate in my head is vibrating!


"Rocko's Modern Life: Pranksters/From Here to Maternity (#4.2)" (1996)
Filburt Turtle: [mocking Rocko while in a jail cell] Hey look fellas I'm in jail, heh heh
Rocko: Filb why don't you just relax
Filburt Turtle: Put a lid on it "Peter Cottontail" you got us into this!
Heffer Wolfe: [playing a harmonica while sitting on Filburt and Dr. Hutchinson's egg] Ahem
[farts]
Filburt Turtle: [sarcastically] What's that? Oh I'm sorry does the big squishy butt have something to say?
Heffer Wolfe: [angry] Big squishy butt?
Filburt Turtle: That's right now get back on the egg and clam up!


"Rocko's Modern Life: Wacky Delly (#3.10)" (1996)
Filburt Shellbach: [voicing Mr. Cheese] I am the cheese! I am the best character on this show! I am better than both the salami and the bologna combined!