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Quotes for
Alfie (Character)
from "30 Rock" (2006)

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"30 Rock: Live from Studio 6H (#6.19)" (2012)
Kenneth Parcell: NBC had the first two black characters on TV... sort of. For "Alfie & Abner," NBC hired one African-American and one Caucasian because they thought two black people on the same show would make the audience nervous; a rule NBC still uses today!
Alfie: [Scene changes to a black & white 1950s TV show, Alfie & Abner. Tracy Morgan enters dressed in fine clothes as Alfie] Abner, I'm home from work! Where are you, my brother?
Abner: [Entering in ragged overalls with dirt on his face and an afro wig: a blackface character:] Here I is, Alfie!
Alfie: [Offended:] Aw hell no, I'm not doing this!
Kenneth Parcell: [Scene changes back to Kenneth and the TGS crew] NBC received a lot of complaints... that the show wasn't on often enough. So they forced Theodore Freeman to honor his contract.
Abner: [Walks in carrying a large catfish] I's done stole'd dis catfish!
Alfie: Sir, I'm asking you as a human being to please stop talking like that!
Abner: I's gon' eat it until I'm belly-full!
Alfie: This is debasing to the both of us. I was a Tuskegee Airman!
Abner: Zip-a-dee-doo-doo!
Alfie: You may anger me, but I believe non-violence is the path to change.
Abner: I believe you can catch a rainbow in yo hat!
Alfie: I'll kill you, you ignorant cracker!
[Breaks a chair over Abner's head, knocking him out]
Kenneth Parcell: [Cuts back to the TGS crew, Kenneth still telling the story:] Believe it or not, they did not stop doing the show. which made for tense but thrilling live TV!
[Cuts back to "Alfie & Abner," where Alfie and Abner sit across from each other in awkward silence. Abner is obviously scared to death. Alfie is waiting for Abner to say something, giving him a death glare. Abner looks at Alfie, not sure what to say. Finally, after a long, awkward silence:]
Abner: BANJO!
[Alfie tackles Abner, and the screen cuts to a "Technical Difficulties" message]