Mad Hatter
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Quotes for
Mad Hatter (Character)
from "Batman: The Animated Series" (1992)

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"Batman: The Animated Series: Mad as a Hatter (#1.24)" (1992)
The Mad Hatter: [sobbing] Would not, could not... would not, could not... oh, could not join the dance.

The Mad Hatter: You know, Alice in Wonderland was always my favorite story. Do you remember "The Mock Turtle Song"? Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?

Alice Pleasance: This is really a surprise, Jervis. You're so... quiet at work.
The Mad Hatter: Oh, still waters run deep, my dear. It's always been my philosophy that people should take what they want from life.
Thug: Hey, ours too. Okay, Mr. Hat, let's have the money.
The Mad Hatter: On your way, curs, lest I'm forced to teach you a lesson.

The Mad Hatter: Are you, the famous Batman, so intent upon destroying my happiness that you'll hurt these poor mind-warped innocents to get me?

The Mad Hatter: You're mighty in Gotham, Batman, but in Wonderland, the Mad Hatter reigns supreme.

The Mad Hatter: I'll cut that cowl off your neck before you take her! I've waited my whole lonely life for her!
Batman: Then all you've waited for is a puppet... a soulless little doll.
The Mad Hatter: It didn't have to be this way! You made me do this to her!


"Batman: Batman Stands Pat (#1.14)" (1966)
Mad Hatter: Do you usually carry a homing-bat-transmitter in your bowler, Mr. Bowinkle?

Lisa: Sorry I'm late, Jervis, but I needed a pedicure.
Robin: The girl from Magda's!
Batman: Up to her pretty neck in evil.
Mad Hatter: You're just in time. Batman and Robin are about to undergo a treatment I usually reserve for rabbits, muskrats and beavers.
Lisa: Jervis, how droll! Do get on with it though, then perhaps you can take me for a bite to eat.

Mad Hatter: And now, Caped Crusader, you will take off your cowl and hand it over. Then you will sit for your photograph for all the world to see. After that, I will take you on a personally conducted tour of my hat factory.
Batman: I'll have to be dead before you get my cowl.
Mad Hatter: Then we'll start with the hat factory. Straight ahead, please.

Mad Hatter: Are you going to walk in on your on power or do you need a shot or two to help.


Season of Infamy (2015) (VG)
G.C.P.D. Officer Aaron Cash: [From audio tape] Tea party's over, freak. Let's start talking.
Mad Hatter: As you can see, I'm balking. Bring me Batman, or the Hatter is walking.
G.C.P.D. Officer Aaron Cash: I give the orders here, not you.
Mad Hatter: And you'll have three dead cops by the time I'm through.
G.C.P.D. Officer Aaron Cash: We'll see about that. Now, quit with the rhymes!
Mad Hatter: Then, let me talk to the Bat, and I'll confess my crimes. Sorry.
G.C.P.D. Officer Aaron Cash: Talk, goddamn it!
Mad Hatter: Now, now, officer, you mistake me for a snitch.
G.C.P.D. Officer Aaron Cash: Where are they, you little son of a bitch!
Mad Hatter: Hahahahaha! That certainly scratched my itch.

Mad Hatter: [after Scarecrow's unmasking of Batman] Looks like the secret's out now, Mister Wayne. Your tragic youth, your life of pain.

Mad Hatter: [after Scarecrow's unmasking of Batman] Can you justify the blood you spilled to the boy who saw his parents killed?


"Batman: The Animated Series: Trial (#2.9)" (1994)
D.A. Janet Van Dorn: I suppose you, like your friends, claim that Batman 'drove' you to be a criminal?
The Mad Hatter: He did.
D.A. Janet Van Dorn: And yet, as I recall your case, you brainwashed and kidnapped a woman who rejected you.
The Mad Hatter: Batman forced me to do it! He was going to take her away from me, I had no choice!
D.A. Janet Van Dorn: You could have respected her wishes and left her alone.
The Mad Hatter: I'D HAVE KILLED HER FIRST! Oop! I'd like that last statement stricken from the record please.
The Joker: Record? Is someone supposed to be writing this down?

Scarface: Court is now in session! The Good People of Arkham Asylum vs. the self-righteous vigilante called Batman! Our prosecutor is ready, likewise our fair and impartial jury!
The Mad Hatter: Hang him!
Harley Quinn: Shoot him!
Killer Croc: Hit him with a rock!
Scarface: And now, all rise for the most honorable, most benevolent, most merciful Judge Joker!
The Joker: [bangs gavel] Guilty!
D.A. Janet Van Dorn: I was promised a chance to defend my client!
The Joker: Oh, very well. Like it'll make a difference.


"Superman: Knight Time (#3.2)" (1998)
Bane: By combining our talents, we will rule Gotham City. Anyone we wish to imprison, you, Riddler, will entrap. Any from whom we require allegiance, you, Hatter, will control. And any that stand in our way, I will break!
The Riddler: I've always wanted to team muscle with my mind, and any chance to test my new puzzles, of course.
Bane: [to Mad Hatter] And you, my friend. Are you in?
The Mad Hatter: Tweedle-Bane, and Tweedle-Brain? If it's all the same, I'll play your game.

The Mad Hatter: [examining mind-controlling nanites under a microscope] I'll tell thee everything I can; there's little to relate. These little fishers, I perceive, may have no earthly mate.
Superman: [disguised as Batman] "No earthly mate?"
Robin: The bugs aren't yours?
The Mad Hatter: Mine, no! I'd be proud if they were. I've stolen from the best: WayneTech, LexCorp, S.T.A.R. Labs. This circuitry is far more advanced than anything I've ever seen. I daresay it may even be of ALIEN origin.


"Batman: The Contaminated Cowl (#2.35)" (1967)
Robin: [Batman is hit with radioactive spray but Robin manages to cover his face with his canary yellow cape] You diabolical devil!
Mad Hatter: Not one step forward, Boy Wonder, or you'll get it too.
Batman: [still covering his eyes] Don't take that step, Robin!

Mad Hatter: I have Batman's cowl! The crowing achievement of my career and the end of his.
Skimmer: And the end of crime fightin' in Gotham City, boss.
Mad Hatter: Oh, such sweet victory!
Batman: Don't count us out yet, gentlemen. Victory and defeat are of the same price, Mad Hatter.


Batman: Arkham City (2011) (VG)
Mad Hatter: You're mine now. You're mine and there's nothing Strange can do about it. Are you not going to drink your tea? It's my special tea. My special tea. My specialty.
Batman: Go to hell, Jervis.

Batman: [in a very threatening voice] Don't EVER try to get in my head again, Hatter.
Mad Hatter: But you don't understand. I need you. I can't win without you.
Batman: Then you lose. I'm not your slave. Not now, not ever.


"Batman: The Animated Series: Perchance to Dream (#1.26)" (1992)
[after the Batman impostor is revealed]
Bruce Wayne: The Mad Hatter?
The Mad Hatter: Congratulations are in order, I suppose. And you're right! This is a dream, a very special dream.
Bruce Wayne: Then you know everything about me?
The Mad Hatter: I do! But I'm only a part of your dream. The mind control apparatus I've hooked you to reveals nothing to the outside world - it's purpose is to create an ideal fantasy world for you!
Bruce Wayne: Then you're not the real Mad Hatter.
The Mad Hatter: No. Just a figment of your imagination. But that doesn't mean I'm not real - in this dream world!
Bruce Wayne: Make it stop!
The Mad Hatter: I'm crushed! You don't like the fantasy world I've created for you?
Bruce Wayne: It's not real!
The Mad Hatter: Ah! Are you the dreamer or are you part of someone else's dream? That's exactly the question Tweedledee put to Alice in 'Through the Looking... '
Bruce Wayne: This isn't some silly storybook!
The Mad Hatter: Oh, but it is! It's a beautiful story! You have love, wealth, a family, all you ever wanted! Your own private Wonderland!
Bruce Wayne: NO! I won't live a lie! No matter how attractive you make it!

Bruce Wayne: [looking over a high ledge] You're wrong. There is a way for me to wake up.
The Mad Hatter: N-now just a moment! You don't want to do anything foolish- this isn't an ordinary dream! What if you're wrong?
Bruce Wayne: Then I'll see you in your nightmares.


"Batman: The Mad Hatter Runs Afoul (#2.36)" (1967)
Polly: Jervis, you sound like the Joker or the Puzzler or even the Riddler.
Mad Hatter: Those phonies?


"Batman: The Thirteenth Hat (#1.13)" (1966)
Mad Hatter: [disguised as artist Octave Marbot] I wonder what could be keeping Boy Wonder?
Batman: [bursting through door] Jervis Tetch! Your days of crime are over.
Mad Hatter: Not till I get your cowl, Batman, my thirteenth hat!


"The New Batman Adventures: Animal Act (#2.4)" (1998)
Miranda Kane: What are you doing with my bears?
The Mad Hatter: "I can't explain myself", said Alice, "because I'm not myself, you see."
Miranda Kane: Who are you?
The Mad Hatter: A lonely wretch named Jervis Tetch. Also known as...
Miranda Kane: The Mad Hatter.
The Mad Hatter: At your service.
[Miranda raises her arm to strike him with her whip, but her python, brainwashed by the Mad Hatter, begins to bind her in it's coils]
The Mad Hatter: "The time has come", the Walrus said, "to talk of many things... of bears and snakes, and clever crimes. That spring from circus rings."