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Quotes for
Robert (Character)
from Ted (2012)

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Ted (2012)
Robert: You can't have my Teddy bear!
[Charges John and Lori at full speed. John punches him in the nose, knocking him unconscious to the ground]
Lori: Jesus!
John: I'm sorry, but somebody had to go all Joan Crawford on his ass!

Donny: I have to say, I've been following you ever since I was a young boy and, uh... I remember seeing you on the Carson Show and... you were just wonderful.
Ted: Oh, yeah that was uh... that was weird ineterview: Ed thought I was ALF and he kept muttering anti semitic comments... he thought ALF was Jewish for some reason...
Donny: Hey-hey um... Have you ever considered selling the bear?
John: What?
Ted: Excuse me?
Robert: I want it.
Ted: [defensively] Hey, I'm not an it, pal! I'm a he, alright?
John: [Stammers and stands up; he speaks in a calm tone] I'm sorry little guy, but my bear isn't for sale. See, I've had him since I was about your age. He's very, very special to me.
Robert: Stand up straight when you're talking to me!
John: [Dumbfounded] Why the fuck would he say that?

Robert: Stand up straight when you're talking to me.
John: Why the fuck would he say that?
Donny: Sorry, you really shouldn't swear in front of children.

Robert: Me and Ted are going to be best friends, Daddy.
Donny: Yes, you are, my little chipmunk. Happy playtime.
Ted: Jesus fucking Christ!
Robert: I said a bad word one time. Daddy punished me for it.
Ted: That's a great story. I felt like I was there.
Robert: Daddy gave me an ouch. Now, I have to give you an ouch.
[tears Ted's ear off ]

Ted: All right, kid, you win. We'll do it your way. What do you want to do? You want to play a game? It's playtime, right? We'll play a game.
Robert: Yeah, I want to play a game.
Ted: Good, good. Uh, all right. Let's see. How about... How about we play a little game of hide and seek?
Robert: I love hide and seek. I'll hide.
Ted: Wait now, hang on a sec, there. Your dad likes you to show good manners. Right, Tubby McFat-Fuck?
Robert: Okay, you hide first.
Ted: Great. Fantastic. Okay, now you count to a hundred, and then you try to find me, okay?
Robert: Okay. Uh, do I need to wash my hands before I play this game?
Ted: No. That's a weird fucking question. No, just start counting.