Vanellope von Schweetz
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Quotes for
Vanellope von Schweetz (Character)
from Wreck-It Ralph (2012)

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Wreck-It Ralph (2012)
[from trailer]
Vanellope von Schweetz: What's your name?
Wreck-It Ralph: Ralph, Wreck-It Ralph.
Vanellope von Schweetz: Why are your hands so freakishly big?
Wreck-It Ralph: I don't know. Why are you so freakishly annoying?

[from trailer]
Vanellope von Schweetz: I bet you really gotta watch where you step in a game called "Hero's Doodie"!
[breaks into laughter]

Vanellope von Schweetz: Everyone here says I'm just a mistake...

[from trailer]
Wreck-It Ralph: You're a winner!
Vanellope von Schweetz: I'm a winner...
Wreck-It Ralph: And you're adorable!
Vanellope von Schweetz: I'm ADORABLE!

Vanellope von Schweetz: I'm gonna learn how to drive, I'm gonna learn how to...! Wait. Do *you* know how to drive?
Wreck-It Ralph: Yeah...! I mean, I've never done it, but I flew a spaceship today!
Vanellope von Schweetz: You crashed it.

[Ralph runs to the exit of "Sugar Rush," carrying Vanellope]
Vanellope von Schweetz: Ralph, it's not gonna work...
Wreck-It Ralph: We gotta try!

Vanellope von Schweetz: [after a trial run] So how'd I do?
Wreck-It Ralph: Uh... well, you almost blew up the whole mountain...
Vanellope von Schweetz: Right, right. That's a good note.

Wreck-It Ralph, Vanellope von Schweetz: Top shelf!
[fist-bump]

Vanellope von Schweetz: You really are a bad guy.

[Ralph pounds a jawbreaker in rage]
Vanellope von Schweetz: What a moron. Hey genius, it's a jawbreaker! You're never gonna break...
[Ralph cracks the jawbreaker]
Vanellope von Schweetz: ...Huh.

[Ralph returns to Vanellope with the fixed go-kart]
Wreck-It Ralph: I know, I know, I know. I'm an idiot.
Vanellope von Schweetz: And?
Wreck-It Ralph: A real numb-skull?
Vanellope von Schweetz: And?
Wreck-It Ralph: A selfish diaper-baby.
Vanellope von Schweetz: AND?
Wreck-It Ralph: A stinkbrain?
Vanellope von Schweetz: The stinkiest brain ever.

[Vanellope is trapped in Sugar Rush, as the Cy-Bugs overrun it]
Vanellope von Schweetz: It's okay, Ralph.
Sergeant Calhoun: All right, Fix-It, that's everyone, now we've got to blow this exit!
[alarmed, Ralph looks at Vanellope]
Vanellope von Schweetz: Just go. Go without me.

Wreck-It Ralph: [takes Calhoun's hoverboard] Let me borrow this, lady!
[to Vanellope]
Wreck-It Ralph: Stay with Felix!
Vanellope von Schweetz: Ralph, where are you going?
Wreck-It Ralph: I've got some wrecking to do!

Vanellope von Schweetz: You could stay. You could have your own castle, where you can wreck and stink as much as you want, and no one would ever treat you badly ever again.
Wreck-It Ralph: Thanks. But I have a job to do. It may not be as fancy as being president but it's my duty, and it's a *big* duty!
[Vanellope chuckles bashfully]

Vanellope von Schweetz: What's the big deal over that crummy medal, anyway?
Wreck-It Ralph: The big deal? Well, this may come as a shock to you, but in my game, I'm the bad guy, and I live in the garbage.
Vanellope von Schweetz: Cool!
Wreck-It Ralph: No, not cool! Unhygienic, and lonely, and boring... and that crummy medal, was going to change all that. I bring that baby home I'll get fireworks, ice sculptures, pies! Ah, it's grown up stuff, you wouldn't understand.
Vanellope von Schweetz: No, I get it! That's exactly what racing would do for me!
Wreck-It Ralph: Well, guess what?
Vanellope von Schweetz: What?
Wreck-It Ralph: News flash: neither one of us is getting what we want!

Wreck-It Ralph: [Referring to his medal] I didn't win it in my game, I won it in Hero's Duty.
Vanellope von Schweetz: 'Hero's Doodie'? Pffffft!
[giggles loudly]
Wreck-It Ralph: It's not that kind of duty!
Vanellope von Schweetz: [Still laughing] I bet you really gotta watch where you step in a game called 'Hero's Doodie'! What did ya get the medal for? Wiping? I hope you washed your hands after you handled that medal!
Wreck-It Ralph: I don't have time for this.
Vanellope von Schweetz: One more, one more. Why did the the hero flush the toilet?... Say why.
Wreck-It Ralph: Why?
Vanellope von Schweetz: Because it was his... doodie!
Wreck-It Ralph: How dare you insult Hero's Duty, you little guttersnipe! I earned that medal! And you better get it back for me toot-sweet sister!
Vanellope von Schweetz: Well unless you've got a kart hidden in the fat folds of your neck, I can't help you.

Vanellope von Schweetz: What? Speak up, I can't hear you. Your breath is so bad it made my ears numb!

Vanellope von Schweetz: Hey, why are your hands so freakishly big?
Wreck-It Ralph: Uh, I don't know. Why are you so freakishly annoying?

Wreck-It Ralph: See ya later, President Fartfeathers.
Vanellope von Schweetz: Au revoir, Admiral Underpants.
Wreck-It Ralph: And farewell, Baroness Boogerface.
Vanellope von Schweetz: Goodbye, Major Body Odor.
Wreck-It Ralph: Hasta la vista, you...
Fix-It Felix: Ralph!
Wreck-It Ralph: All right, to be continued.
Vanellope von Schweetz: Yeah!

King Candy: Sad as it is, Vanellope can not be allowed to race.
Wreck-It Ralph: *Why* are you people so against her?
King Candy: I'm not against her! I'm trying to *protect* her! If Vanellope wins that race, she'll be added to the race roster. Then gamers can choose her as their avatar. And when they see her glitching and-and-and twitching and just being herself, they'll think our game is broken. We'll be put out of order for good.
[Sugar Rush being unplugged, characters fleeing into Game Central Station]
King Candy: All my subjects will be homeless. But there's one who can not escape, because she's a glitch.
Vanellope von Schweetz: [terrified, pounding on the barrier surrounding Sugar Rush] Help! Somebody come help!
[being sucked into a vortex]
Vanellope von Schweetz: Noooooo!
King Candy: And when the game's plug is pulled... she'll die with it.
Wreck-It Ralph: You don't know that will happen. The gamers could love her!
King Candy: And... if they don't?
[Wreck-It Ralph sits down, dejected]

Sour Bill: Now I remember.
[walking up to Vanellope]
Sour Bill: All hail the rightful ruler of Sugar Rush, Princess Vanellope.
Taffyta Muttonfudge: I remember, she's our princess!
Candlehead: Oh, that's right!
Taffyta Muttonfudge: We are *so* sorry about the way we treated you!
Rancis Fluggerbutter: Yeah, those were... jokes!
Candlehead: [whining] I was just doing what Taffyta told me to do!
Vanellope von Schweetz: Tut, tut. As your merciful princess, I hereby decree that everyone who was ever mean to me shall be... executed.
Sugar Rush Racers: *What?* No, no, no, please...
Fix-It Felix: Oh, my land!
Sergeant Calhoun: Oh! This place just got interesting.
Taffyta Muttonfudge: [crying] I don't want to die!
Vanellope von Schweetz: Ah, I'm just kidding.
Taffyta Muttonfudge: You are?
Vanellope von Schweetz: Stop crying, Taffyta.
Taffyta Muttonfudge: [eyes streaming] I'm trying, but... it won't stop!

Vanellope von Schweetz: [showing off her home in Diet Cola Mountain] Welcome to my home! I sleep in these candy wrappers
[drifting into a sweet, syrupy voice]
Vanellope von Schweetz: and I bundle myself up like a little homeless lady.

Taffyta Muttonfudge: King Candy says glitches can't race.
Vanellope von Schweetz: I'm not a glitch, Taffyta. I've just got pixlexia, okay?

Vanellope von Schweetz: Now, rise my royal chump! I've got a date with destiny.
[Ralph doesn't move]
Vanellope von Schweetz: Ralph, come on. Move your molasses!
Wreck-It Ralph: Um, I've been thinking...
Vanellope von Schweetz: That's dangerous!
Wreck-It Ralph: Who cares about this stupid race, anyway, right?
Vanellope von Schweetz: Huh-huh. That's not very funny, Ralph.
Wreck-It Ralph: No, I'm serious. And it was really fun to build the car and everything, but maybe... maybe you shouldn't do it.
Vanellope von Schweetz: Uh, hello? Is Ralph in there? I'd like to speak to him, please.
Wreck-It Ralph: Look, what I'm saying is, you can't be a racer.
Vanellope von Schweetz: What? Why would you...
[she notices that Ralph has his Hero's Duty medal back]
Vanellope von Schweetz: Wait a minute.
[she grabs the medal]
Vanellope von Schweetz: Where did you get this?
Wreck-It Ralph: Look, I'm gonna be straight with you, kid. I've been talking to King Candy.
Vanellope von Schweetz: King Candy? You sold me out?
Wreck-It Ralph: No, I didn't... Listen, you don't understand.
Vanellope von Schweetz: No, I understand plenty. Traitor!
[she throws the medal back at him]
Wreck-It Ralph: I'm not a traitor. Listen.
Vanellope von Schweetz: You're a rat! And I don't need you. And I can win the race on my own.
Wreck-It Ralph: But I'm trying to save your skin, kid!
[He lifts her in the air]
Vanellope von Schweetz: Put me down! Let me go!
Wreck-It Ralph: No, you listen to me. You know what's gonna happen when the players see you glitching? They're gonna think the game's broken.
Vanellope von Schweetz: I don't care! You're a liar!
Wreck-It Ralph: Well, you'd better care, because if your game goes out of order, you go down with the ship, little sister!
Vanellope von Schweetz: I'm not listening to you! Get outta my way! I'm going to that race!
Wreck-It Ralph: No, you're not!
[He hangs her by the collar from a tree branch]
Vanellope von Schweetz: Take me down from here, Ralph, right now!
Wreck-It Ralph: No! I'm doing this for your own good!
[He walks up to the cart, makes fists and raises his arms]
Vanellope von Schweetz: Wait, wait, wait. No, no. No, no, no, no, no! Please, Ralph!
[He smashes the cart]
Vanellope von Schweetz: No! Ralph, stop it!
[He continues smashing]
Vanellope von Schweetz: Stop it! No!
[She sobs]
Vanellope von Schweetz: You really are a bad guy.

Vanellope von Schweetz: [as Ralph pounds out a track] Hey, what are you doing? Come on! I know it's a dump, but it's all I got.
Wreck-It Ralph: If you're gonna be a racer, you're gonna have to learn how to drive. And you can't do that without a track.
Vanellope von Schweetz: Whoa!
Wreck-It Ralph: All right now, let's hustle up. We've got some driving to do.
Vanellope von Schweetz: I'm gonna learn to drive! I'm gonna learn to drive! I'm gonna - oh wait, do you know how to drive?
Wreck-It Ralph: Yeah! I mean, I haven't done it, but - look, I flew a spaceship today, okay?
Vanellope von Schweetz: You crashed it.
Wreck-It Ralph: Just get in. How hard can it be? Okay, uh, start it up.
[She presses the starter button and the engine starts]
Wreck-It Ralph: There we go. So, there's some buttons on the floor.
Vanellope von Schweetz: Pedals.
Wreck-It Ralph: Pedals, right. Now, uh...
[He presses the gas pedal and the engine revs]
Wreck-It Ralph: That's the "go" pedal.
[He presses the brake pedal and the brakes squeak]
Wreck-It Ralph: That, I believe, is the stopper. And this...
[He presses the clutch and nothing happens]
Wreck-It Ralph: Wait, what is this? That doesn't do anything.
Vanellope von Schweetz: Ooh, what's this joystick do?
[She moves the stick shift and the cart jumps into gear and shoots forward, knocking Ralph down]
Wreck-It Ralph: Okay, good. Let's try that again.