Marnie Michaels
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Quotes for
Marnie Michaels (Character)
from "Girls" (2012)

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"Girls: Vagina Panic (#1.2)" (2012)
Shoshanna Shapiro: Have you not seen Rent?
Marnie Michaels: Please, I've seen it like 12 times. That's basically why I moved to NY.

Hannah Horvath: [Sarcastic] How could she ruin the beautiful abortion that you threw?
Marnie Michaels: Hannah! That's not what I meant.
Marnie Michaels: You're a really good friend, and you threw a really good abortion.
Marnie Michaels: Oh stop it.
Shoshanna Shapiro: You did.

Marnie Michaels: I was just thinking, I've been sexually irresponsible enough in my life thus far that I should have gotten pregnant by now and I never have. Like, I get my period at the same time, on the same day, of every monthly cycle, my entire life, like it's never strayed from that.
Hannah Horvath: Then you're really lucky. I never know when I'm going to get my period, and it's always a surprise, and that's why all my underwear are covered in weird stains.

Marnie Michaels: I'm sorry about
[Charlie]
Marnie Michaels: . He' so busy, like, respecting me, you know, that he looks right past me and everything that I need from him.
Hannah Horvath: Okay you are a 23-year old girl who's had the same boyfriend for the past 4 years, so you're also allowed to be bored.


"Girls: Hard Being Easy (#1.5)" (2012)
Marnie Michaels: What are you like in love with him?
Ray Ploshansky: More than you are!


"Girls: Beach House (#3.7)" (2014)
Marnie Michaels: Dinner was supposed to be our time for honesty. And I'm really sorry you guys. This is not about you. This is between us, but you invited the cast of Magic Mike
Hannah Horvath: Marnie, I don't feel like being honest.
Shoshanna Shapiro: [drunk] Why not? Being honest is fun.
Hannah Horvath: What are you talking about, Shosh?
Shoshanna Shapiro: I'm talking about the fact that you're a fucking narcissist. Seriously, I have never met anyone else who thinks their own life is so fucking fascinating! I wanted to fall asleep in my own vomit all day listening to you talk about how you bruise more easily than other people.
Hannah Horvath: Are you serious? Okay, well... people have been calling me a narcissist since I was three, so it doesn't really upset me anymore. You've gotta choose something more creative then that.
Marnie Michaels: Yeah, it really has no effect on you.
Hannah Horvath: Now you? So we're untabling our issues then?
Marnie Michaels: I wanted to do this at dinner.
Shoshanna Shapiro: Oh my God! Can you chill the fuck out about dinner? Seriously, that duck tasted like a used condom and I want to forget about it!
Marnie Michaels: Shosh has gone totally insane!
Jessa Johansson: I don't know. Maybe she has gone sane from being drunk.
Shoshanna Shapiro: You guys never listen to me. You treat me like I'm a fucking cab driver. Seriously, you have entire conversations in front of me like I'm invisible. And sometimes I wonder if my social anxiety is holding me back from meeting the people who would actually be right for me instead of a bunch of fucking whiny nothings as friends!
Hannah Horvath: Well, maybe Shosh has a point. I mean, it's not like the four of us have had any real fun for the past two years.
Marnie Michaels: That is not true.
Hannah Horvath: Name one fun thing.
Marnie Michaels: This trip, if we had done everything like I planned.
Hannah Horvath: Oh my God!
Jessa Johansson: Hey, wait! Marnie, I think you should process what you just said because, you know, happiness is about appreciating what you have.
Hannah Horvath: Yes!
Shoshanna Shapiro: What is that? Like some AA bullshit? Seriously, Jessa goes to rehab for five fucking seconds and we have to listen to everything she comes up with?
Jessa Johansson: Shosh, you are a cruel drunk.
Marnie Michaels: It's crazy!
Hannah Horvath: She's a cruel drunk, and she's also not an intellectual.


"Girls: It's a Shame About Ray (#2.4)" (2013)
Hannah Horvath: You can't just be a girl in this city and expect to get your way!
Marnie Michaels: But we are girls in this city!
Hannah Horvath: Not the right kind of girls!
Marnie Michaels: Girls none the less!


"Girls: All Adventurous Women Do (#1.3)" (2012)
Marnie Michaels: I really hate to bring this up, but rent is due in a week. How's the job search?
Hannah Horvath: I have pre-cancer!


"Girls: Weirdos Need Girlfriends Too (#1.8)" (2012)
Jessa Johansson: You look... really gorgeous. I love you all stripped down.
Marnie Michaels: I've never been as miserable in my life.
Jessa Johansson: It's totally working.