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Quotes for
Rod (Character)
from "We Need Girlfriends" (2006)

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"We Need Girlfriends: Blue Party (#1.2)" (2006)
Henry: I've only slept with like one girl my entire life.
Rod: You're a pansy.
Henry: Why? Well how have you slept with?
Rod: One. But I'm a fucking pimp.
Henry: That makes no sense.
Rod: YOU make no sense!

Tom: This isn't a sex party.
Rod: Hey man, for me, every party is a sex party. I'm going to stand in the corner to send out some vibes.
[shot of Rod thrusting by himself]

Tom: I thought you moved out.
Rod: I never said that I was moving out.
Tom: You said "goodbye forever"
Rod: Yeah. "Forever".
Tom: Do you know what "forever means"?
Rod: [condescendingly] Hey man, I'm bilingual.

Henry: Notice all the witty responses? Well, we need a witty response.
Rod: "See you there".
Henry: That's not witty.
Rod: It's witty.
Henry: How is that witty?
Rod: I FEEL it's witty.
Henry: [earnestly] That's not even an argument...


"We Need Girlfriends: Rod vs Henry (#1.4)" (2007)
Rod: You're just pissed off because I'm better than you.
Henry: At what?
Rod: Everything. I am da bomb at everything.
Henry: Name some things that you're "da bomb" at then.
Rod: [counting them off on his fingers] Uh video games. Jumping. Lego. Jenga.
Henry: I am better than you at Jenga!
Rod: No you're not...
Henry: -yes I am let's play
Rod: I don't have it!
Henry: Well neither do I!
Rod: Well then let's buy it!
Henry: Fine!
Rod: Fine, we'll split it!
Henry: Fine!
Rod: Good!
Tom: [pleadingly] Please don't buy Jenga.

Rod: Draino kills clogs, not people.


"We Need Girlfriends: Future Rod (#1.10)" (2007)
Tom: How'd it go?
Rod: Lauren doesn't want me in Ben Affleck's life.
Tom: Ben Affleck?
Rod: Yeah, that's what I wouldn't name the kid. It works for a girl or a boy.
Tom: Well, are you okay with not being in Ben Affleck's life?
Rod: I thought I was, but now I feel this pain like... err... right... here... I feel like throwing up.
Tom: ...You mean you feel bad.
Rod: That's stupid! I've never been wrong about anything in my entire life!

Lauren: This isn't how I pictured my life turning out.
Rod: What do you mean?
Lauren: I mean, when I thought about having a child it wasn't supposed to be with someone like you.
Rod: You pictured someone less awesome.
Lauren: I pictured someone smarter!
Rod: You didn't answer the question.
Lauren: I don't love you...
Rod: I don't love you either.
Lauren: I actually think you might be the stupidest person I've ever met in my entire life.
Rod: I actually think that your boobs are hot!
Lauren: Could we ever make this work?
Rod: I think so.
Lauren: ...Why?
Rod: Again, your hot boobs.


"We Need Girlfriends: The Morning After (#1.9)" (2007)
Rod: Spank bank!