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] Agent J
: I'm looking for K, have you seen him? Sort of a surly, older gentleman, smiles like this...
[J makes a poker face
] Agent O
: K's been dead for over forty years.
: Somehow history has been rewritten. There has to be a reason this is happening, and K seems to be in the center of it.
] Agent K
: I worked for Zed for over 40 years, and in all that time he never invited me to dinner. Heve never asked to me to his house to watch a game. He never shared a single detail of his personal life. Thank you. Agent O
: Thank you, Agent K. That was very moving. Agent J
: That was your eulogy? Agent K
: He was a good man. Agent O
: Ladies, gentlemen, other life forms, when I told the Felucian Zyglot about Zed's passing, she said something that I'm going to repeat. And I'm paraphrasing. Ahem.
[starts screeching in an alien tongue
] Agent O
: That's just so Zed.
: There was a spree of time-travel in the 1960s. It caused issues all over the continuum! So we imprisoned its handler, Obadiah Price, and had it wiped out completely.
: Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to. Agent J
: It's funny, K said exactly the same thing. Agent O
: He's a very wise man.
: Wait. How long have you been craving chocolatized diary products? Agent J
: Just today. Agent O
: Are you experiencing headaches? Dizziness? Loss of balance? Agent J
: Mm-hm. Agent O
: Agitation? Depression? Agent J
: Hell, yeah. Agent O
: Ah. There are only two possibilities. One is you've been bitten by the Horvatian brain tick and could die in horrible agony at any moment.
] Agent O
] Damn it. It's not the tick. Agent J
: "Damn it, it's not the tick"? It's something worse than the tick?
: There's no such thing as time travel. Agent O
: Well, there is. Agent J
: No. There's not. Because if there were, a class-one senior agent such as myself would have been made aware of it, wouldn't he have? Agent O
: Were it not classified and way above his pay grade. Agent J
: You know what? I need a pay raise.
Young Agent O
: The Viagrons have come up with a revolutionary new pill...