Sophie Kachinsky
Quicklinks
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
Filmographies
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Biographical
biography
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Sophie Kachinsky (Character)
from "2 Broke Girls" (2011)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"2 Broke Girls: And the One-Night Stands (#1.18)" (2012)
Sophie Kachinsky: There's only one party worse than this one. The Donner party... And they had better food.

Sophie Kachinsky: Max, I know you had limited budget, but music is free.
Max Black: Yeah, well I'm a douche.

Caroline Channing: Congratulations. It's official. Our website is now live.
Max Black: Congratulations. It's official, you're a whore. I hear you got your Kinko's card punched.
Caroline Channing: What, heh?
Max Black: Don't "what" me. I know you hooked up with the webmaster.
Oleg: [Oleg rings the bell] Pick up.
Caroline Channing: Oleg, you told Max?
Oleg: What's happening?
Caroline Channing: Our deal's off. Oleg had sex with Sophie last night.
[Max gasps]
Sophie Kachinsky: No. No. It wasn't sex. Just hand stuff. Yeah. And nothing above the waist. I'm a lady. Yeah. I got all hot and bothered watching Caroline and big Han.
Edwin: Okay.
[Edwin chuckles]
Edwin: You know, I really think this is between Caroline and me.
Han Lee: You mean between Caroline, you and your strippers.
Caroline Channing: Strippers?
Han Lee: I have seen this man in a strip club.
Max Black: Han, you were in a strip club?
Han Lee: [Han points to Earl] Earl took me.
[Earl stands there with his mouth wide open]
Earl: Damn it, Han! You gonna sell me out, after I spotted you a hundred dollars in ones.
Oleg: You went to Spreaders without me?


"2 Broke Girls: And the Messy Purse Smackdown (#1.21)" (2012)
Caroline Channing: [after someone knocks on the door] Who is it?
Sophie Kachinsky: [from behind door] Kim Kardashian.
[Caroline opens the door and lets her in]
Sophie Kachinsky: No, I'm not Kim Kardashian. No, I work for a living.

Caroline Channing: Sophie? I can't believe I'm about to say this, but for Oleg, It's not just about sex. He feels things for you. I know for a fact he's buying you a special gift. Tell her, Max.
Max Black: Well, he mentioned something about a fur and tonight when he was talking about you, he did use the word "love."
Sophie Kachinsky: [with her mouth stuffed full of cupcakes] "Love"? Oh, come on, don't ruin my cupcake buzz. I mean this man has no future. Yes, he does have a giant penis, but no future. I mean, I worked hard to get where I am. I need a man who has a dream and a drive. And, I can buy a big, giant penis online for $47.
Max Black: Really? "Add to cart."


"2 Broke Girls: And the Escape Room (#5.5)" (2015)
Randy: Arnold Schwarzenegger's is big; Michael J. Fox's is small; the Pope has one but doesn't use it; Madonna doesn't have one at all.
Oleg: Dongs. The answer is dongs.
Sophie Kachinsky: C'mon, Oleg, I mean, nobody can say for sure that Madonna doesn't have one.
Max Black: Dongs aren't the answer to everything. I used to think that. You know where that got me? Pennsylvania, with no car.
Caroline Channing: Schwarzenegger's is big, Schwarzenegger's is big; Fox's is small. It's last names. The pope doesn't use his. Madonna doesn't have one at all. That's it.
Randy: Correctamundo!
[laughs]
Randy: With your brain power, you'll be out of her in under an hour.
Caroline Channing: Well, thanks. But if I was that smart, I wouldn't have spent the last four years getting ripped off by my roommate.

Sophie Kachinsky: Okay, Oleg. Drop your pants. The monkey wants his banana.
Max Black: Caroline, if I have to see Oleg so much as honk one of her boobs, I'm gonna lose it.
Caroline Channing: [in Irish accent] I would help you and be your heaven-sent, but you screwed me on the rent.


"2 Broke Girls: And the Window of Opportunity (#2.24)" (2013)
Sophie Kachinsky: Oleg cheated on me and I'm so
[screaming]
Sophie Kachinsky: maaaaaaaaaaad! Oh I have to break things! But everything upstairs in my apartment is too nice! So
[Sofie breaks something]
Sophie Kachinsky: run a tab girls!