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Quotes for
Paw (Character)
from "Music Movies" (2011)

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"The Nostalgia Critic: Les Misérables: Musical Review (#6.29)" (2013)
Oancitizen: [singing] Look down. Look down. Don't look right at the screen.
Nostalgia Critic, Paw: [singing] We can't. We tried. It's just too damn obscene.
Nostalgia Critic: [singing] The singing's live. Who's bright idea was that?
Oancitizen, Paw: [singing] Probably the guy who gave Javert that hat!
Paw: [singing] Come on. You guys. It's not that bad per se.
Nostalgia Critic, Oancitizen: [singing] But Russell Crowe
Paw: [singing] Okay! Okay! Okay!

Paw: [about Brentlfloss] We can't have him in the review.
Nostalgia Critic: Do you think I don't know that?
Oancitizen: We have to get rid of him. He's like a musical armageddon.
Paw: The movie or the event?
Oancitizen: Does it matter?

Paw: Should we talk about our interests or hobbies?
Maven of the Eventide: Why, when we're so in love?
Oancitizen: Hey, there's a Buffy marathon going on downstairs.
Maven of the Eventide: [excited] Girl power and vampires?
[She runs off accidentally dragging Paw onto the floor]
Paw: Cock-blocker!

Nostalgia Critic: So, final thoughts on the movie?
Paw: Well, I think it's great. It did a wonderful job to update the musical, as well as adapt it in a way that moviegoers would enjoy. It has its problems here and there, but I think it's fantastic just to see it in movie form.
Oancitizen: Well, I thought it was terrible. It's clumsy. It's awkward. It's full of moment upon moment that doesn't work. And it commits the biggest crime any adaptation could: It made me question whether or not the material it's adapting was that damn great to begin with.
Oancitizen, Paw: [Leaning in on The Nostalgia Critic] Yoooouuuuu?
Nostalgia Critic: Well, uh, as someone who enjoyed the musical but acknowledges that it had problems, I think the film is kinda similar. Some moments hit it right out of the park, and others don't even make it up to bat. So, on the whole, I'm glad I saw it. But I don't think it's great.
Oancitizen: Wait, so it's
[points at Paw]
Oancitizen: like,
[points at himself]
Oancitizen: dislike, and
[points at The Nostalgia Critic]
Oancitizen: indifferent.
Nostalgia Critic: Well, hell, that's pretty much what the rest of the critics of the world thought. There's no real majority consensus. It's one of those movies that is so hard to get a fix on that pretty much everybody had a different reaction to it.
Paw: Well, what the hell kind of a conclusion is that?
Oancitizen: We need *some* kind of opinion to force on the viewers
Paw: Yeah.

Nostalgia Critic: Valjean then sings about how important it is to protect Marius, describing him like a son - a son he's only known for a few minutes.
Jean Valjean: [singing] God on high/Hear my prayer
Oancitizen: This is especially disrespectful to the original, as the song was supposed to be sung quietly and soothing. Here, he belts it out.
Jean Valjean: [singing] If I die/Let me die
Oancitizen: I'm surprised he doesn't wake up the entire army.
Nostalgia Critic: Oh, and I suppose Colm Wilkinson did much better?
Oancitizen: He did! Much better!
Nostalgia Critic: Oh, and his
[imitating with his hand]
Nostalgia Critic: awkward lip movements didn't result for hilarious sounds like this?
Colm Wilkinson: [singing onstage at the 10th Anniversary Concert of Les Miserables] Bring me ho-ome.
[Nostalgia Critic and Paw chuckle]
Oancitizen: Well, OK, maybe not every note was perfect, but I don't...
Colm Wilkinson: Ho-ome?
[Nostalgia Critic and Paw laugh heartily as Kyle looks irritated]
Paw: Did he swallow a fish?
Oancitizen: It's still better than Jackman.
Nostalgia Critic: Oh, I don't know. Jackman never sounded like a vomiting cat in reverse.
Colm Wilkinson: Ho-ome? Ho-ome? Ho-ome?
[Nostalgia Critic and Paw can't help but laugh hysterically. Oanacitizen is clearly upset and close to rage and tears]
Oancitizen: Stop it!

Nostalgia Critic: That's Colm Wilkinson?
Paw: Yeah!
Nostalgia Critic: It can't be!
Paw: Why not?
Nostalgia Critic: I can understand him. He usually sounds like Sean Connery if his lips were being stretched by a rice picker.
Colm Wilkinson: [Wilkinson sings onstage] The cries in the dark that nobody hears/Here where I stand at the turning of the years?
Nostalgia Critic: I mean, shouldn't this be more like...
[imitates Wilkinson's singing]
Nostalgia Critic: Dere izh wine here to revive you/Dere izh bread to make you zhtro-ooong.
Oancitizen: [through his teeth] You will leave that man alone. He is a musical treasure.
Nostalgia Critic: I will for now, Kyle. But my collection of Colm Wilkinson funny voices will not go untouched.

Kickassia (2010) (V)
Cinema Snob: Look, I'll have a talk with the Critic, see if any of this is true.
Paw: What if he suspects us going behind his back?
Cinema Snob: He won't suspect us. I'll put it very delicately.
[scene cuts to Snob talking to Critic]
Cinema Snob: Everybody thinks you're nuts.

8-Bit Mickey, Lee, Handsome Tom, Paw, Film Brain, LordKat, Rollo T: I believe in Santa Christ.

Phelous: Well, *that* didn't work.
Bennett the Sage: Didn't you have any other strategy outside of going, "Aaaaaaahhhhh!"
Nostalgia Critic: Well, I didn't think that far ahead.
Cinema Snob: No, you just thought up to where everyone was in charge, and *you* were ruling the fucking world.
Nostalgia Critic: Yes.
Paw: You can't just do that, Critic. You have to plan these things out. You have to have a strategy for God's sake!
Nostalgia Critic: Yeah, but that takes hard work. Hard work that we do not have!

Paw: That's a game of Risk.
Linkara Patton: Yes, and it's also gonna serve as our battle plan. Now then, just assume that Northern Europe here is the Government House, and Greenland is the Back Yard. Angry Joe and I will be stationed here!
[points at the United Kingdom]
Linkara Patton: Handsome Tom and 8 Bit Mickey will travel in through the back, then Monty will come in through Messina
Bennett the Sage: Wait, wait! You can't travel that way, the countries have to be connected!
Linkara Patton: No they don't.
Bennett the Sage: Yes they do! See? See those dotted lines? They connect!
Linkara Patton: They do?
Bennett the Sage: Well, I thought so.
Paw: I thought you needed dice for this.
Linkara Patton: Do you?
JewWario: How *do* you play this game anyway?
Board James: Well guys...
[He picks up box of Risk]
Board James: Glad you asked. You got your deck of 56 risk cards, 3 red dice, 2 white dice, 6 sets of colored armies, and, of course, your game board because every board game has a game BOARD! The first step is to claim all the territories. Each player rolls 1 die. Whoever rolls the highest number gets to place one of their armies on the territory of your choice. After all territories are claimed, game play begins. At the beginning of every turn, count the number of territories you already own, then divide the number by 3. Then add that number of armies. You can also get armies by trading in certain combination of cards. You get the cards from capturing a territory. The attacker rolls the red dice based off the number of armies on the territory which is attacking. The winner is the first greedy bastard to take over the whole world. And that's... all there is to it
Linkara Patton: Hey, that's good to know! Thanks, Board James!
Board James: Well, thank *you* for the, uh... obligatory cameo.

To Boldly Flee (2012) (V)
Linkara: What do I review, Paw?
Paw: [looks around him] Lamps?

Paw: Wait wait wait! We're going into space, I need proper attire.
[swaps out a pair of headphones with Spock ears]
The Nostalgia Critic: You're such a geek.
Paw: I find that... illogical.
The Nostalgia Critic: That's why you're undateable.

Linkara: just don't know, Paw. You want to take my spaceship to go investigate some beeps in space?
Paw: It's not just beeps in space! The government's trying to cover it up! I tried calling NASA about this, but they treated me like I was crazy.
Linkara: What'd you tell them?
Paw: That I'm an internet reviewer who needs a spaceship
Linkara: Sounds sane to me.

Paw: You're the only reviewer I know who has a spaceship. Where'd you get that thing anyway?
Linkara: Oh, it's explained in my videos... You *have* watched my videos, right Paw?
Paw: ...Course I do.
Linkara: Then tell me, what's Mechakara?
Paw: Jambi's magic words?
Linkara: It's my psychotic robot double! How does my theme song go?
Paw: Um... "I met you on a Thursday..."
Linkara: [angry] What do I review, Paw?
Paw: Lamps?
Linkara: Goodbye, Paw.

"The Nostalgia Critic: Rejected Spooning with Spoony Ideas" (2012)
Nostalgia Chick: I had no idea that was mathematically possible.
Paw: I'm gonna be walking funny for months.
Todd in the Shadows: I liked it.
JesuOtaku: [Cheerful] Kyle taught me how to sing.

"Music Movies: Popeye (#4.1)" (2014)
Paw Dugan: [singing] Everything is crap, crap, crap.

"The Nostalgia Critic: Suburban Knights: Part III (#4.27)" (2011)
The Spoony One: Go back to the darkness!
Paw: Give in to the darkness!
The Spoony One: Rage will not avail you!
Paw: Rage... more rage!

Suburban Knights (2011) (V)
The Spoony One: Go back to the darkness!
Paw: Give in to the darkness!
The Spoony One: Rage will not avail you!
Paw: Rage... more rage!

"Atop the Fourth Wall: Sonic Live (#3.38)" (2010)
JewWario: Looking down on us all.
Dr. Insano: Of course, don't you know anything about science?
Bennett the Sage: There would be better books on his show.
Guru Larry: But Quesada sold them to Mephisto.
MasakoX: And now there's nothing left to do.
L. Lovhaug: But share the scrapings at the bottom of the barrel with you.
Ensign Monroe: Linkara!
Paw: He is a man. Punch!
KaiserNeko: What's that on his arm?
[cut to a sign that says "Linkara" sitting beside his bear]
Dr. Gonzo: Can't seem to fix the continuity alarm.