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Quotes for
Christopher (Character)
from After Sex (2007)

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After Sex (2007)
[first lines]
Leslie: Oh, god, oh.
Christopher: Ease, ease, easy, easy. Cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp. Fucking top five. That was... fucking top five.
Leslie: So what are you saying? Are you saying women have it easier than men?
Christopher: Look, all I'm saying is that you guys, women, have one certain luxury that us men just do not have.

Leslie: Love is not negotiable.
Christopher: Oh, baby, everything is negotiable!
Leslie: Love is not negotiable. No, not love. Love is a guessing game. And that's the beauty of it, there's no guarantees. It's like diving into a pool of water without knowing if it's shallow or deep. Sure, right, if it's shallow you end up hurt and paralyzed from the neck down. But if it's deep... it's a leap of faith. It's like throwing yourself out there without any guarantees. And that's what life's about!
[exhales forcefully]
Leslie: Okay, you know those carnival games, right? And you know how some of them are really hard to win and some of them are super easy and everyone wins?
Christopher: Sure.
Leslie: Well, it's just that that's the difference between love and sex. Sex is the game where everyone wins a little prize and no one goes home a loser. And... love is the game that's really hard to win.
[pause]
Leslie: But if you do and you get to take home that life-sized stuffed rhinoceros, it feels a whole lot better than taking home that shitty little plastic key chain.

Leslie: *God*, if only your dick was as big as your ego.
Christopher: If it was, I wouldn't be able to walk around,
[chuckles]
Christopher: and neither would you for that matter.