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Ficus
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Quotes for
Ficus (Character)
from "Quark" (1977)

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"Quark: All the Emperor's Quasi-Norms: Part 1 (#1.5)" (1978)
Betty: And Ficus, bring her flowers for her dress.
Ficus: Bring her flowers? Why, that would be a sin.
Betty: But Ficus, flowers are so romantic.
Ficus: To YOU they are romantic. To a Vegeton a flower is a blood brother. Why, my pinning a flower to a woman's gown would be like you strapping a lamb chop to your dress.

Ficus: Are you saying that Princess Libido is exhibiting that condition which you animals refer to as romanic affection at initial visual perception?
Adam Quark: Yes Ficus, love at first sight.

Ficus: As a Vegeton I remain cool and crisp even while being crushed by walls.

Ficus, Princess Libido: Beebeebeebeebeebee
Ficus: Is it good for you?
Princess Libido: I think so. Is this what you Vegetons find pleasurable?
Ficus: It would appear so.
Princess Libido: What do we do next?
Ficus: We wait for the bee.

Gene: We'll teach those guys a lesson they'll never forget, right commander?
Adam Quark: Sure Gene. Ficus, have you got a reading on that ship, yet?
Ficus: It would appear they are approximately ten times bigger than we are, have six photon death rays, and a deflector shield which our weapons cannot penetrate.
Adam Quark: Our weapons cannot penetrate?
Ficus: Sir, we couldn't interrupt a small dinner party on that ship.
Adam Quark: Bettys, turn the ship around.
Gene: Commander, but you said we would teach 'em a lesson!
Adam Quark: I think they've learned their lesson.


"Quark: The Old and the Beautiful (#1.2)" (1978)
Adam Quark: When I was young and healthy Princess Carna almost killed me. What will she do to me in this condition?
Ficus: Nothing. By the time we reach Princess Carna you'll be dead.

Adam Quark: Ficus, did you understand anything Palindrome said?
Ficus: I did have my back to the screen and was deeply engrossed in my calculations.
Adam Quark: ah ha.
Ficus: Anything I might say would be purely conjecture.
Adam Quark: Maybe I ought to be sitting down for this.
Ficus: You are sitting down, sir.
Adam Quark: I know that, I'm the commander.

Ficus: There are no good or evil plants; There are only plants.

Adam Quark: How could this happen? What's my condition, Ficus? I've got to know!
Ficus: Sir, it would appear you are upset.
Adam Quark: That I know! I want to know why I came out of that hatch ten years older than when I went down.
Ficus: One explanation might be you were down there ten years.
Adam Quark: Ficus, I was down there five hours.
Ficus: That would rule out that theory.


"Quark: All the Emperor's Quasi-Norms: Part 2 (#1.6)" (1978)
Princess Libido: [after giving Ficus a long passionate kiss] Ficus, I just kissed you. Didn't you feel anything?
Ficus: Yes. I felt your epidermis upon my own, a slight pressure, a rise in temperature.
Princess Libido: Ficus, you're supposed to feel something... special.
Ficus: Oh.

Princess Libido: Mary me, and I'll give you the gun.
Ficus: If that is what I must do to rescue my commander, I will make such a sacrifice.
Princess Libido: And we will live happily ever after?
Ficus: You will live happily ever after. I will just live.

Adam Quark: I guess this is goodbye.
Ficus: I guess this is goodbye.
Adam Quark: After all these years, I... what can I say?
Ficus: You can say anything you want to say, commander.
Adam Quark: Ficus, I know, I mean... what do I want to say?
Ficus: You're asking me what you want to say?
Adam Quark: Oh, Ficus.
Ficus: Is this a warm moment, commander?
Adam Quark: Is this a warm moment, commander?
Ficus: Good. You like them.


"Quark: The Good, the Bad, and the Ficus (#1.3)" (1978)
Ficus: There are no good or evil plants. There are only plants.

Adam Quark: This is just a thought, but could it be possible that passing through that black hole in any way caused this to happen?
Ficus: I cannot be sure for certain, but in my personal opinion I am certain that I am not sure.
Adam Quark: What does that mean? Can't you just say yes or no?
Ficus: Yes.
Adam Quark: [yelling] Yes what?
Ficus: Yes, I can say yes or no.

Adam Quark: You see Ficus, humans sometimes lie in order to protect feelings.
Ficus: That's true commander, but protected feelings are false feelings.
Adam Quark: That's true Ficus, but to humans, false feelings feel good.


"Quark: Vanessa 38-24-36 (#1.7)" (1978)
Ficus: Vanessa, when a tree falls in a forest and no one hears or sees it fall, did the tree in fact fall?


"Quark: May the Source Be with You (#1.1)" (1978)
Adam Quark: Why do you say things like that? Out of the blue?
Ficus: Blue? What blue?