Adrian Helmsley
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Quotes for
Adrian Helmsley (Character)
from 2012 (2009/I)

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2012 (2009/I)
Carl Anheuser: [about Laura Wilson] Cute girl, huh?
Adrian Helmsley: Sir?
Carl Anheuser: The First Daughter. I saw you looking at her.
Adrian Helmsley: I wasn't looking at her.
Carl Anheuser: Better move fast, kid. The end is near.

Adrian Helmsley: The moment we stop fighting for each other, that's the moment we lose our humanity.

Adrian Helmsley: Sir, you don't have the authority.
Carl Anheuser: Who's got the authority? You? You've got the authority? You couldn't keep your goddamn mouth shut. You betrayed top-secret information last year. Could've had us all killed?
Adrian Helmsley: What the hell are you talking about?
Carl Anheuser: You told your father everything. Put this entire plan in jeopardy. Good thing for you the old man could keep his mouth shut better than you. Oh, come on. Don't look so shocked. We had to monitor everybody who knew. How do you think we kept it a secret for so long?
Adrian Helmsley: So we just killed people who tried to talk?
Carl Anheuser: Anybody who tried to talk was not just an enemy of the state, they're an enemy of humanity.
Adrian Helmsley: The Director of the Louvre was an enemy of humanity?
Carl Anheuser: After he called a press conference, he was! Jesus. What did you think? We're all just gonna get onboard, hold hands and sing "Kumbaya"? Sit down and buckle up.

Adrian Helmsley: The president has ordered us to clean out the White House.
Harry Helmsley: About time somebody cleaned up that mess.

Professor West: The Mayans saw this coming thousands of years ago.
Adrian Helmsley: I thought we had more time.

Adrian Helmsley: Satnam didn't get picked up.
Professor West: What?
Carl Anheuser: A lot of people didn't get picked up in this chaos. This is not a conspiracy, Helmsley. You're predictions haven't exactly panned out, have they, doctor?

Scotty: It's been upgraded to a 10.9 by the guys at Harvard.
Adrian Helmsley: What does Caltech have to say?
Professor West: The whole city of Pasadena was wiped out just a few minutes ago.

President Thomas Wilson: Did you ever meet my wife, Dorothy?
Adrian Helmsley: No, sir. I didn't have that honor.
President Thomas Wilson: She was in and out of it towards the end. The night before she passed on, she took my hand and she told me: "I think you should have a lottery. Everyone should have a chance to go." Maybe that's what we should have done. I'll be the last president of the United States of America. Do you know how that feels, son?
Adrian Helmsley: No one could have saved the country, sir. And I think... I think people have a right to know.
President Thomas Wilson: Don't worry. I'll take care of that.

Ark Communications Officer: The capital's been hit by a 9.4.
Ark Communications Officer: We've lost communication with the White House, sir.
Adrian Helmsley: Where's it centered?
Scotty: North Chesapeake Bay.

Adrian Helmsley: [standing in the Oval Office] I was wrong.
President Thomas Wilson: Do you know how many times I've heard those words in this office? Zero.

Sally - President's Secretary: Sorry, sir. She insisted.
[leaves afterward]
Laura Wilson: The Director of Louvre has just been killed. It's all over the news.
[puts down newspaper and turns TV in room on with the news confirming what she had just explained]
President Thomas Wilson: [after the TV is back off] Adrian, I don't think you met my daughter, have you?
Adrian Helmsley: No, sir.
Laura Wilson: We just talked. He said the organization I work for is a sham. How can he say something like that?
Carl Anheuser: [to Adrian] Come.
[Carl and Adrian leave the room]
President Thomas Wilson: [after the door shuts after Adrian and leave] Did I ever tell you that you are just like your mother when you get upset?
Laura Wilson: Daddy, a man was just killed.
President Thomas Wilson: Please, sit down. Only twelve people know what I am about to tell you.
Laura Wilson: Daddy, what's going on?
President Thomas Wilson: An international endeavour is under way, and 46 nations are currently invested in this thing.

Laura Wilson: No toothbrush. Only books.
Adrian Helmsley: You know, when I was a kid, my dad was on the road a lot. He would give me a box full books, call me every night and quiz me. I'd get an ice cream cone for every book I read, so I was a fat kid.
Laura Wilson: I find that very hard to believe.
Adrian Helmsley: No, it's true. My high school career was 2,000 books and zero girlfriends.
Laura Wilson: I didn't even kiss a boy till I was in college. They were all to scared of my dad.

Professor West: The equalization of the oceanic seabeds has not turned out to be as extreme as we expected. The waters are receding much faster than we thought, thank God. And this is hard to believe, the Himalayas are no longer the roof of the world. It's now the Drakensberg mountains of KwaZulu-Natal.
Adrian Helmsley: The entire African continent has risen.
Professor West: Several thousand feet, and likely never even flooded.
Captain Michaels: That's why they call it the Cape of Good Hope. We've already set course for it.

Carl Anheuser: What we need to do is focus on this timeline. That's what we need to do.
Adrian Helmsley: When do we let the country know?
Carl Anheuser: What do you mean?
Adrian Helmsley: The people, sir. They need to know.
Carl Anheuser: Well, of course they do. Listen, your job is to figure out when this is all going to fall apart. My job is to figure out how to retain some semblance of government after it falls apart. Until then, we don't have time for anything except for doing those jobs. Okay?

Adrian Helmsley: Who are you bringing?
Carl Anheuser: Nobody. Who, my ex-wife? Last thing she said to me, she never wanted to see me again. So be it.

Laura Wilson: How were all these people chosen?
Carl Anheuser: The same way your art was: By experts from all over the world. We had geneticists determine the perfect gene pool we need to repopulate.
Adrian Helmsley: These people were chosen by geneticists?
Laura Wilson: Looks to me like their checkbooks got them onboard.
Carl Anheuser: That's right, Dr. Wilson. Without billions of dollars from the private sector, this entire operation would've been impossible.
Adrian Helmsley: We sold tickets. And what about all these workers? They all get passes?
Carl Anheuser: What, life isn't fair? Is that it? You want to donate your passes to a couple Chinese workers, you be my guest.