Jonah Hill
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Quotes for
Jonah Hill (Character)
from This Is the End (2013)

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This Is the End (2013)
Jonah Hill: [From the trailer] Can I have that Milky Way?
James Franco: You can't have the Milky Way. It's my special food, I like it.
Seth Rogen: I want some of the Milky Way!
Craig Robinson: I'd be pretty bummed if I don't get at least a bite of the Milky Way.

Jay Baruchel: The power of Christ compels you!
Jonah Hill: [in demonic voice] Guess what? It's not that compelling.

Jonah Hill: This is no dream! This is really happening!

Jonah Hill: Dear God, it's me, Jonah Hill... from Moneyball.

Jonah Hill: [possessed] The Apocalypse is NIGH!

Jonah Hill: A huge earthquake happens, who do they rescue first? Actors. They'll rescue Clooney, Sandra Bullock, me. If there's room, you guys will come.

Jonah Hill: So what have you guys been doing?
Seth Rogen: Oh we just hung out all day.
Jay Baruchel: Ate a bunch of dirty burgers, smoked about a fucking pound of weed, and played a bunch of video games.
Jonah Hill: Weed is tight, weed is tight. That's awesome.
Jay Baruchel: It's like the golfing sequence in Navy Seals.
Jonah Hill: Sick reference though bro.
Jay Baruchel: Oh thanks bud.
Jonah Hill: Dude, your references are out of control, everyone knows that.

Jonah Hill: [trying to comprehend the previous night] Something, um, not-that-chill happened last night.

[the guys are debating whether or not to let a stranger into the house]
James Franco: [whispering] I know it sounds really weird, but... I don't think we should let him in.
Jay Baruchel: Why not?
Headless Man: Yeah, why not? I can hear you, by the way.
James Franco: I'm sorry, we just don't know you, man. You could be, like, a looter or a, a rapist or a tittyfucker, like...
[Seth grabs his chest protectively]
James Franco: ... I'm sorry. Look, guys, we just boarded up this whole house to keep everyone out, and the first guy who comes to the door, we're gonna let him in? I mean, how do we know we can trust this guy?
Headless Man: I want to live! Things have gone crazy out here!
Danny McBride: "Agagaga-fuckin'-crazy-out-here!" This guy fuckin' sucks.
James Franco: What if he's the rapist?
Jonah Hill: Man, even if he is a rapist, he can't rape all of us.
Headless Man: [panicking] Yeah, no, I'm not a rapist!
Seth Rogen: You gonna tittyfuck us?
Headless Man: [almost in tears] If you want me to tittyfuck you, I will, so good, oh, you'll love it!
Jay Baruchel: Seth, back me up, please, we can't just leave him out there to die, are you crazy?
James Franco: [to Seth] What do you wanna do? I'll do whatever you wanna do.
Seth Rogen: Uh, let's vote on it!
Headless Man: Yeah, I fuckin' vote you let me in!
Danny McBride: Here's my vote: fuck all of you, I'm letting him in. This is boring.
[the guys all shout and rush to stop him; something growls outside]
Headless Man: There's something out here!
[the thing outside suddenly chops the man's head off, and the severed head bounces into the room, coming to a stop at Danny's feet]
Danny McBride: [in shock] This is real! This is fucking real!
[he kicks the head at James, who kicks it away from him immediately. The guys all start screaming and kicking the head around the room to get away from it]
Jonah Hill: You guys! This man was alive a few seconds ago, we can't play soccer with his head!
James Franco: Pick it up, Jonah.
[Jonah picks up the head and immediately drops it again as blood gushes out of it]
Danny McBride: What the fuck is going on?
Jonah Hill: He blinked at me! He blinked at me!
James Franco: Put it over there!
[quivering in fear, Craig throws a blanket over the head]

Jonah Hill: [as Woody Harrelson] I have to do what's right, weed is for the people, it's the peoples weed.