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Quotes for
John Edward (Character)
from "South Park" (1997)

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"South Park: The Biggest Douche in the Universe (#6.15)" (2002)
John Edward: But I'm a psychic.
Stan: No dude, you're a douche.
John Edward: I'm not a douche. What if I really believe dead people talk to me?
Stan: Then you're a stupid douche.

John Edward: So, you think you can talk to dead people better than me, huh?
Stan: No, I don't think either one of us can.
John Edward: They tell me your show is getting better ratings than mine, that you're saying I'm a fraud on your show! You better not ever call me a liar or a fake or a douche again, or else I'll sue you for slander!
Stan: I'm saying this to you. John Edward. You are a liar, you are a fake, and you are the Biggest. Douche. Ever.

John Edward: Everything I tell people is positive and gives them hope. How does that make me a douche?
Stan: Because the big questions in life are tough. Why are we here? Where are we from? Where are we going? But if people believe in asshole douchey liars like you, we're never going to find the REAL answer to those questions. You aren't just lying, you're slowing down the progress of all mankind, you douche!