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: You don't know what I've been through! Cameron Tucker
: Well, maybe that's the problem. Mitchell Pritchett
: Yeah, you've been put through the mill, Pepper. Heard it!
: Every wedding is unique, like a snowflake. And my job is to give you the snowflake that will make everyone die of jealousy. Cameron Tucker
: It's all we ever wanted.
] I've done 53 gay weddings and... none of them are mine. Ronaldo
: And whose fault do you think that is? Pepper Saltzman
: I feel like you're implying mine, but I really don't see it.
: Did you hear that? He's not just talking to him, he's talking to seven-year-old you, eight-year-old you... Mitchell Pritchett
: [Swinging angrily
] Suck it, Nancy! Pepper Saltzman
: I was just trying to help!
: Now I can afford the shirt that goes with these pants.
: [about a sign for Sal's baby shower
] Is this straight? Pepper Saltzman
: We're hosting a baby shower in a room full of men in tailored suits. Nothing about this is... I can't even finish it.
: I don't know who I am anymore. Who am I? I'm a joke, that's who. Cameron Tucker
: No. You're not a joke. You're Pepper Saltzman.
: Phil like they say in my native South Carolina its time to marry your brother-in-law.