Pepper Saltzman
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Quotes for
Pepper Saltzman (Character)
from "Modern Family" (2009)

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"Modern Family: The Help (#5.6)" (2013)
Pepper Saltzman: You don't know what I've been through!
Cameron Tucker: Well, maybe that's the problem.
Mitchell Pritchett: Yeah, you've been put through the mill, Pepper. Heard it!

Pepper Saltzman: Every wedding is unique, like a snowflake. And my job is to give you the snowflake that will make everyone die of jealousy.
Cameron Tucker: It's all we ever wanted.

Pepper Saltzman: [sobbing] I've done 53 gay weddings and... none of them are mine.
Ronaldo: And whose fault do you think that is?
Pepper Saltzman: I feel like you're implying mine, but I really don't see it.


"Modern Family: A Slight at the Opera (#4.14)" (2013)
Pepper Saltzman: Did you hear that? He's not just talking to him, he's talking to seven-year-old you, eight-year-old you...
Mitchell Pritchett: [Swinging angrily] Suck it, Nancy!
Pepper Saltzman: I was just trying to help!

Pepper Saltzman: Now I can afford the shirt that goes with these pants.


"Modern Family: Fight or Flight (#6.15)" (2015)
Cameron Tucker: [about a sign for Sal's baby shower] Is this straight?
Pepper Saltzman: We're hosting a baby shower in a room full of men in tailored suits. Nothing about this is... I can't even finish it.


"Modern Family: Earthquake (#2.3)" (2010)
Pepper Saltzman: I don't know who I am anymore. Who am I? I'm a joke, that's who.
Cameron Tucker: No. You're not a joke. You're Pepper Saltzman.


"Modern Family: The Wedding, Part 2 (#5.24)" (2014)
Pepper Saltzman: Phil like they say in my native South Carolina its time to marry your brother-in-law.