Trent Hauser
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Quotes for
Trent Hauser (Character)
from "NTSF:SD:SUV" (2011)

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"NTSF:SD:SUV: Whack-a-Mole (#2.6)" (2012)
Trent: There's only one thing I hate more than a mole, it's a mole on your skin, and don't bother writing that down because I'm no Moleskine notebook.

Piper: We just need to stick together like Schwimmer and the gang.
Trent: I might be a total Ross, but you're no Rachel.

Trent: Let go of the lab geek you IA donkey spunk.

Kove: I know you're innocent, but the President of the Navy has ordered me to detain you onsite for an immediate trial. Unless one of you assaults me right now so you can escape.
Trent: Okay. Got it. So when's the trial?

Trent: Ren faire music? Run! Run!


"NTSF:SD:SUV: Robot Town (#2.7)" (2012)
Sam: What proof do you have?
Piper: Well, S.A.M. was holding the gun and he confessed.
Trent: And you buy it?

Trent: How many times has all the evidence pointed at me being guilty, then at the last minute some crucial piece of evidence comes to light and clears my name and reputation.
Alphonse: Thirteen.

Aaron Sampson: I'm not a robot.
Trent: Then explain this.
[Cut's Sampson's arm]
Trent: Red oil. Pretty convincing.

Trent: So, uh, I guess he wasn't a robot.
Alphonse: Or a vampire.
Piper: Or a werewolf.
S.A.M.: Manimal?


"NTSF:SD:SUV: Time Angels (#2.5)" (2012)
Trent: Made it a policy to never say no to slides.

Piper: I miss the Time Angels. Those girls were nice.
Trent: Yeah, if they had weekly adventures I could watch or DVR I'd do it. In a heartbeat.


"NTSF:SD:SUV: Comic-Con-Flict (#2.8)" (2012)
Trent: Which one is bastardizing a beloved comic book property?
Piper: According to this guide all of them.

Trent: Damn it, we're not Ryan Seacrest, we can't be everywhere.


"NTSF:SD:SUV: One Cabeza, Two Cabeza, Three Cabeza... Dead! (#1.1)" (2011)
Trent Hauser: Foam pill.
Frank Forrest: Pretty sure its cyanide.
Trent Hauser: You FDA guys are so naive.


"NTSF:SD:SUV: I Left My Heart in Someone's Cooler (#1.12)" (2011)
Piper Ferguson: The President had been drugged and his heart has been replaced with a bomb.
Trent Hauser: Not on my watch.
Piper Ferguson: Well like I said, it already happened.


"NTSF:SD:SUV: Tijuana, We've Got a Problem (#1.6)" (2011)
Stripper: When I came to my space shuttle blue prints were gone.
Trent Hauser: Space shuttle blueprints?
Stripper: I'm a NASA engineer. I just strip to make ends meet.
Alphonse: Her story checks out.


"NTSF:SD:SUV: Comic Con-Air (#3.1)" (2013)
Trent: Get ready for your complimentary beatdown.