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Quotes for
Alvin (Character)
from Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011)

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The Chipmunk Adventure (1986)
David Seville: I'm just calling to see how everything is.
Miss Rebecca Miller: Oh, everything is fine. It's quiet as a mouse around here.
David Seville: Alvin's behaving himself?
Miss Rebecca Miller: He is? Well, that's good.
David Seville: Could I talk to the boys?
Miss Rebecca Miller: Well, I don't see why not.
David Seville: Is Alvin available?
Miss Rebecca Miller: Available for what?
David Seville: To talk?
Miss Rebecca Miller: Well, how should I know?
David Seville: Look, Miss Miller, I just called to see if everything was all right.
Miss Rebecca Miller: Everything's fine, David.
David Seville: Well, give the boys my love.
Miss Rebecca Miller: Why don't you give them your love?
David Seville: Well, are they available?
Miss Rebecca Miller: Available for what?
David Seville: Never mind. Nice talking to you, Miss Miller.
Miss Rebecca Miller: You too, David. And David? Get some rest, will you?
[they both hang up]
Miss Rebecca Miller: Oh, that poor man is losing his marbles.

David Seville: [after the Chipmunks and Chipettes have performed a rocking musical number] I could've sworn... No, it couldn't be. The boys wouldn't... Would they?

[last lines]
Alvin Seville: But, Dave, they owe us out $100,000!
David Seville: Not now, Alvin.
Alvin Seville: But they've got $5,000,000 in diamonds! Don't we get anything?
David Seville: Alvin!
Alvin Seville: But we just cracked a huge smuggling ring!
Miss Rebecca Miller: Shut up, Alvin!
Alvin Seville: Okay, okay. We'll give you half.
David Seville: ALVIN!

Simon Seville: Maybe you should let Dave drive, Miss Miller.
Miss Rebecca Miller: I wouldn't think of it. Besides, driving relaxes me.

Simon Seville: It's not your hearing aid, Ms. Miller!

Theodore Seville: I don't know, they were pretty nice to me.
Simon Seville: Just send them a postcard, Theodore.

David Seville: Now let's see... shirts, pants, overcoat, socks... am I forgetting anything?
Alvin Seville: Me!
David Seville: Alvin, we've been over this a million times!
Alvin Seville: Please, Dave! I need a little culture in my life! The Eiffel Tower, the Sixteen Chapel, the Louvre in Rome!
Simon Seville: The Louvre is in Paris, Alvin.
Alvin Seville: You see? I don't even know where the Louvre is!

Theodore Seville: Since when did Alvin like playing "Around the World in 30 Days"?
Simon Seville: Since he feels its as close to a world trip as he'll ever get.

Alvin Seville: You're lucky this is only a game! You'd never beat me if this was for real!
Brittany Miller: Oh, is that so?
Alvin Seville: Yeah, that's so! If I had the money, I'd race you around the world right now!

Simon Seville: I can't believe you decieved Miss Miller for a package of Tutti Frutti, Theodore.
Theodore Seville: Two packages!

Brittany Miller: So, Alvin, you finally showed up.
Alvin Seville: Well, somebody has to win the race.

Jeanette Miller: Simon, which route do you think we should take to Bermuda?
Simon Seville: Well, if you insist on going, don't take the east-turning route. I heard on the news there's a hurricane coming in that direction.
Brittany Miller: Thank you for your advice, Simon.
[drags Jeanette away]
Brittany Miller: What a liar! He's getting as bad as Alvin!
Jeanette Miller: But what if he's telling the truth, Brittany?
Brittany Miller: Oh, Jeanette, don't be so naive. He's just saying that because our route is shorter, and he doesn't want us to win.

Theodore Seville: [to Simon as he's hanging out of the balloon] Get in, Simon!
Simon Seville: Why didn't I think of that?

Theodore Seville: Isn't Rio beautiful?
Alvin Seville: We're in Mexico, Theodore.
Theodore Seville: Oh. That's what I mean.

Simon Seville: Your first drop-off is the Cluck'n Taco.
Alvin Seville: You mean *our* first drop-off.
Simon Seville: I'm only along so that you don't get into so much trouble.

Alvin Seville: I love Athens! The nightlife, the girls, the excitement!
Simon Seville: Alvin, you've never been to Athens.
Alvin Seville: Well, it looks like a city I would love.

Theodore Seville: Simon? I feel kinda funny about tricking Miss Miller.
Simon Seville: It's called "guilt," Theodore.

Alvin Seville: Three o'clock in the morning, and Prince Theodore has a craving for mushrooms! I hope he chokes on them!
Simon Seville: Alvin!
Alvin Seville: Well, I've had it!

Simon Seville: Alvin, land the balloon by the fountain.
[the balloon lands in a tree]
Simon Seville: Like I said, "in the tree!"

Simon Seville: Have you guys been having any trouble along the way?
Jeanette Miller: Well, there was this guy...
[Brittany slaps her mouth shut]
Brittany Miller: We've had nothing but smooth sailing. And you?
Simon Seville: Well, actually, I get the feeling...
[Alvin slaps his mouth shut]
Alvin Seville: It's been a piece of cake. The only problem we have is crowd control. We're the hottest act in rock and roll. But you don't have that problem, do you?
Jeanette Miller: No.
Brittany Miller: Sure we do!
Alvin Seville: [laughs] No, you don't.
Brittany Miller: All right, Mister Popularity! How much you want to bet we can out "rock and roll" you?
Simon Seville: We've got to keep these two apart!

Theodore Seville: I'll have two cheese enchiladas with extra sauce, a tostada grande, the quesadilla with a side of guacamole, two chillis with...
Simon Seville: They're closed, Theodore.
Alvin Seville: Oh, fellas!
Simon Seville: The instructions say to drop the doll under the little sombrero.
Alvin Seville: [does so, the sombrero takes the doll and brings a different one in return] Wow! What do you know? One down, and eleven to go.
Theodore Seville: [to the sombrero] And one quesa...
[the sombrero closes]
Theodore Seville: dilla.
Simon Seville: Forget it, Theodore.

Alvin Seville: What is it, Simon?
Simon Seville: It's ancient writing that says, "Sacrifice the full moon on the Prince of Plenty"... That doesn't make any sense. Oh, how silly of me! It's eyes before eats except after teeth. I got it reversed, it says, "Sacrifice the Prince of Plenty on the full moon."
[the full moon comes into view]
Alvin & Simon: Oh no!
Simon Seville: They're going to sacrifice Theodore tonight!
Alvin Seville: Over my dead body!
[cut to a scene where Alvin, Simon and Theodore are being held over a crocodile pit]
Simon Seville: You mean over OUR dead bodies!

Alvin Seville: We're the hottest act in rock and roll. But you don't have that problem, do you?
Jeanette Miller: No.
Brittany Miller: Sure we do!
Alvin Seville: [laughs] No, you don't.

Theodore Seville: I don't think we should have taken the shortcut. It's too dangerous.
Alvin Seville: Relax, Theodore. This isn't the arcade game.

Alvin Seville: [Grabbing Theodore for a sing-off with the Chipettes] Come on, Theodore!
Theodore Seville: [Reaching back toward the counter he was standing at] But... my couscous!

Klaus Furschtien: Excuse us, but we couldn't help but overhear your conversation.
Claudia Furschtien: We were just wondering if you really could win a race around the world.
Brittany Miller: I would!
Alvin Seville: Not a chance!
Klaus Furschtien: I know she could win.
Claudia Furschtien: Would you like to make a little wager?
Klaus Furschtien: Why not?
[to Brittany]
Klaus Furschtien: I bet a million dollars on this cutie.
Claudia Furschtien: [to Alvin] And I bet on this handsome gentleman.
Alvin Seville: A million dollars? You're joking, right?
Klaus Furschtien: Certainly not. We're quite wealthy, and very bored.

[from trailer]
Alvin Seville: You've got to see "The Chipmunk Adventure"! I'm really great!
David Seville: ALVIN!
Simon Seville: I can't remember when I had such a good time, Alvin.

Claudia Furschtien: Now, here are the rules... Each of you will be taken a different route.
Klaus Furschtien: And to make sure to travel completely Around the World. Both teams must deposit one doll on twelve different locations... You'll be giving opposing team's doll to verify you were there. The first one back wins $100,000!
Alvin Seville: A hundred...
Brittany Miller: Thousand dollars!

David Seville: Thanks for all your help, Inspector.
Inspector Jamal: Thank you.

Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007)
Theodore: How do you think it's going?
Alvin: Terrible! They're not even sniffing each other!
Simon: But Alvin, Dave said that...
Alvin: Dave needs a little help from the love doctor.
Theodore: And his assistant.
Simon: [pulls Theodore inside the room] Get back here.

David Seville: They're savings bonds. In seven years you will get to buy something really nice.
Alvin: Do you have any that you bought seven years ago?

David Seville: Chipmunks can't talk either.
Simon: Well, our lips are moving and words are coming out.
David Seville: This is not happening. I'm not talking to chipmunks, I'm not talking to chipmunks.
Alvin: So, how's that going for you, Dave?
David Seville: Uhh - uhh, how'd you know my name?
Alvin: Oh, that one? We read your mail by accident.
Simon: You really oughta pay that utility bill, Dave. Ever heard of a credit rating?
Theodore: [turns on the food processor] What's this thing?
David Seville: Hey, hey... hey, hey, turn that off!
Alvin: [turns off the food processor] Sorry.
Simon: [rubs Theodore's head] He fell out of the tree at birth.
David Seville: C-Can all animals talk?
Simon: Well, fish do have this type of sign language.
Alvin: Hey Dave, do all humans have houses that smell like sweatsocks?
Alvin: [singing while squirting soap out of the soap dispenser] Dave likes to wear, dirty underwear, with little hairs...
Simon: We're getting off on the wrong foot. Allow us to introduce ourselves. Hello, I'm Simon, the smart one. He's Alvin...
Alvin: The awesomest one...
Theodore: And I'm Theodore.
David Seville: Oh, that's nice to meet you. Now get out of my house.
Theodore: But... we talk.
David Seville: Which only makes me want you out of my house that much more. It's creepy, unnatural, somewhat evil.
Alvin: I kind of liked him better when he was unconscious.
David Seville: [places a mixing bowl over the chipmunks] Gotcha!
Alvin: Hey!
David Seville: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

[after being captured and placed into a cat carrier]
Alvin: You'll never take us alive!
Simon: They just did take us alive, Alvin.
Alvin: It's a figure of speech, Simon. Instead of criticizing me, why not use your big brain to think of a way out?

Alvin: Last one to the door is road kill!
Simon: I'm in!
[Alvin and Simon make a break for the door]
Theodore: [distracted by a Christmas ornament] Hmm... What are these shiny things?
Simon: [goes back to Theodore] Theodore, we're leaving now!

David Seville: [picks up a stack of toster waffles from the under the kitchen rug]
Simon: We put a few toaster waffles aside for winter
Alvin: And we're not sharing!
David Seville: Guys, we're gonna have food all winter so if you start storing it, it's gonna get gross and we're gonna have rodent -...
Simon, Theodore, Alvin: [looks at Dave]
David Seville: Bad you know... non-talking rodents around here

Alvin: [singing] Don't cha... Yeah, yeah, come on, come on... Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me / Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me...
[Dave opens the dishwasher door and Alvin screams]
Alvin: There's this new thing, it's called knocking!
David Seville: Get out!
Alvin: I'm waiting for the rain cycle.
David Seville: [pulls Alvin out of the dishwasher] Out!
Alvin: Hey, I'm taking a shower here!
David Seville: You know, if I made a list of my worst days ever, guess what? Today would be at the top of the list.
Alvin: And it's still early.
David Seville: Clam it, sudsy!
[Simon and Theodore join Alvin on the counter]
Alvin: Look, let me just put it to you like this, OK? I have no job, no career, my house is always a mess, thank you very much...

[up a lighting post, being chased by a security guard]
Alvin: [songsung] Eeny, meeny, miny, mo, missed a chipmunk cause you're slow.
[shines the spotlight in his eyes]
Alvin: Yippee-kie-yay, mamacita!

David Seville: Alright, here's the deal; you guys sing my songs, you get to sleep here.
Alvin: [thinks about it] No. Wait! Is breakfast included?
David Seville: [thinks about it] I can live with that.
Simon: What about TV privileges?
David Seville: [thinks about it] Okay, but not after seven.
Theodore: Eight.
David Seville: Done. Don't tell you're animal friends, cause I don't wanna come home and find a bunch of rabbits and skunks on my couch.
Simon: Filthy creatures, Dave. Never associate with them.
Theodore: Yeah, you're our only friend.
David Seville: No, no, no, no, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Let's just start with me being your songwriter.
Alvin: Um, let me ask you, have you ever written a song before?
David Seville: Yup.
Alvin: And... is that your music stuff outside?
David Seville: Yup.
[thunder claps reminding Dave that his songwriting equipment is soaked in the rain]
David Seville: Oh no!
Alvin: Hurry back.

[first lines]
Alvin (singing voice), Simon (singing voice), Theodore (singing voice): [a capella] Where is the moment we needed the most/You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost/They tell me your blue skies fade to gray/They tell me your passion's gone away/And I don't need no carryin' on/Cause you had a bad day/You're taking one down/You sing a sad song just to turn it around/You say you don't know/You tell me don't lie/You work at a smile and you go for a ride/You had a bad day/You've seen what you like/And how does it feel for one more time/You had a bad day/You had a bad day/
Alvin: [pushing the last of the acorns into the tree] It's going, It's going.
[gets sucked in and falls out with all of the acorns]
Simon: And it's gone.
Alvin: [from inside the tree] Whatever!
Theodore: Maybe we should take a break.
[an acorn hits him on the head]
Theodore: Ouch!
Alvin: That's it! I can't take this anymore! I can't! I give up! I'm sick of struggling for survival! Competing with gophers and earthworms, and that loser sparrow who always takes my nuts! And I'm especially sick of this stupid, stupid...*tree!*
[the sound of a buzzsaw is heard, and the tree shakes]
Simon: Whoa! What's happening?
Theodore: Guys! I think he made it angry!

[last lines]
Alvin: [tries to open a bottle of champange] Stupid cork! Doesn't - Whoa!
[Cork flies into a glass door cabinet breaking it along with some of the glasses in it]
Alvin: Yikes, Ha-ha! Oops!
David Seville: Not gonna say it.
Alvin: Uh-oh!
Simon: Good grief.
[Champagne spills all over the floor creating a large puddle]
Claire: Are you still not gonna say it?
David Seville: [tries very hard not to] Nope!
[Champagne puddle becomes a flood that hits a plug outlet, causing a blackout in Dave's house]
Alvin: OKAY!

Simon: [after knocking out Dave] Hmm. He's been out for quite a while.
Theodore: [gasps] You guys, he's dead!
Alvin: Don't panic! Wipe everything down! I'll need three garbage bags, a shovel, some disinfectant, some latex gloves, and oregano. Go!
Simon: Hang on, Sherlock. He's coming too.
David Seville: I must be hearing things.
[regains consciousness]
David Seville: Oh, this is trippy.
Theodore: Sir, are you alright?

Theodore: [munching on some cereal] This is the greatest day of my life!
Alvin: Eureka! I found the cheese balls!
[Alvin pours out the cheese balls and Simon catches them with a bowl]
Simon: Ughh! Alvin, what are you doing? Don't make a mess!
Alvin: Cannonball!
[jumps into the bowl of cheese balls]

David Seville: What was that?
Simon: Um, nothing, nothing, just a little stage fright.
Theodore: I thought my heart was gonna explode.
Alvin: We're not performing monkeys, Dave. Why do we have to sing for that guy anyway?
David Seville: Well, how's this? Pretend I need the money and I hate my job and you're staying at my place so, you owe me.
Theodore: We're sorry, Dave.
David Seville: Yeah, that helps.
David Seville: [heavy sigh] Never mind, I'm late for work.
Theodore: Ooh, ooh, can we go with you?
David Seville: What, so you can mess that up too? Uh-uh. You're going home.
Alvin: Can I stand on your lap and steer?
Theodore: Oh, can I at least beep the... horn?
[Dave looks at the chipmunks]
Theodore: Never mind.

Theodore: Who's Claire?
Simon: Claire is Dave's mate. Ooh-la-la.
David Seville: She's not my mate. She's my ex-mate.
David Seville: [frantically tries to clean the house] This is great.
Simon: Dave, slow down. You just go get the food. We'll take care of the rest, all right?
David Seville: Oh, why am I having a hard time believing you?
Alvin: That hurts, Dave. That really hurts.
Simon: Yeah, we're all in this together, Dave.
Theodore: Like a family.
David Seville: No, not like a family!
Alvin: Tick-tock, Dave. Better bust-a-move!
David Seville: Right.
[Theodore giggles and Dave points at him]

Alvin: [knocks on door] You should've kissed her, Dave. She really wanted you!
Simon: Alvin, you're not helping.
Alvin: Aw, don't give up, Dave.
David Seville: Go away! Leave me alone!
Theodore: Dave, would you like a cookie?
David Seville: I said leave me alone!

Alvin: Is it me, or was he a little mad?
Simon: Hmm... I wonder... is Dave mad? Yes!
Theodore: He really did have garlic breath.
Simon: Yeah, well played, guys.
Alvin: Idea, ding-ding-ding-ding! Who has cab fare?
Simon: Cab fare? We don't even have pockets.

David Seville: Okay, new rule. No going out after nine, and not at all unless I know where you're going.
Theodore: Were you worried about us, Dave?
David Seville: No, I just needed to know, that's all.
Alvin: Um, if you're not worried, then why do you need to know?
David Seville: I need to know, okay?

David Seville: It's hard, I know, three months ago you were wandering around in a tree somewhere and, now you're...
Alvin: [sucks air from a balloon and speaks in a low voice] major rockstars!
David Seville: Okay, whatever. Well, my point is, just because you're...
Alvin: [low voice] major rockstars!
David Seville: [releases balloon from Alvin's hand and sits down again] ... doesn't mean that you can have or do whatever you want!
Simon: Well, Uncle Ian said that we should always be happy.
David Seville: Okay, you know what? He's not your uncle!
[pulls the balloons down from the ceiling fan]
Alvin: He also, David, said that we should be making 20 dollars a day.
David Seville: Well, guess what? You're making way more than that. And because I care, I'm putting it all away for you, just like storing nuts for the winter.
Alvin: Ah, winter's for losers!
Simon: Yeah. And shouldn't we be having our say on how to build our investment portfolio?
David Seville: Where is all this coming from? You guys are just kids.
Alvin: Kids, Dave... or rats?
David Seville: What?
Theodore: Well, Uncle Ian said that we're like his family.
David Seville: Oh yeah? Well, if you love Uncle Ian so much and don't think I'm watching out for you, why don't you go live with Uncle Ian?

Theodore: Guys, I wanna go home.
Simon: What do you mean? You are home.
Theodore: No. I mean home home, with Dave.
Alvin: But Theodore, wake up and smell the toffee. Dave doesn't even want us. He doesn't even care to come to our show.

Alvin (singing voice), Simon (singing voice), Theodore (singing voice): [a capella] Only you can make this world seem right / Only you can make the darkness bright
[Dave opens window]
Alvin: Uh, were we disturbing you?
David Seville: Y-you guys can sing too?
Alvin: That's not singing, this is singing.
Alvin (singing voice), Simon (singing voice), Theodore (singing voice): [sing Funkytown]
David Seville: This is amazing. Here, everyone inside.
[the three chipmunks jump onto the trash can one by one]
Simon: [almost slips] Whoopsie.
[Dave helps Simon up]
Simon: Thank you.

Alvin: [running on a tape recorder spool] This kicks a hamster wheel's butt!

Alvin: [Theodore crashed a RC car] Why didn't the airbags deploy?
Simon: Theodore, don't go into the light!
Theodore: Huh? Phew! Let's do it again!

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009)
Alvin: Si, don't make me have to kiss you because I'll do it! I don't care! Here come the lips! Makeout train is leaving the station! Toot toot!

Alvin: Oh it is on like Donkey Kong!

Alvin: Come on, Alvin! Remember your 5 D's: dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge!

Dave: [yelling over the phone] Alvin!
Alvin: Yep, nobody does that better than him.

Dr. Rubin: [about her chipmunk tattoo] It was my birthday and I was like "oh the chipmunks!" So, what do you say? will you represent our school?
Alvin: Honestly, suspension still sounds pretty good to me.

Alvin: Whoops! Well, it looks like it's time to play my second favorite game: hide the broken TV from Dave. You wanna play?

Dave: [to Simon] I'm counting on you.
Alvin: Dave, wait a minute! Why is he in charge?

Alvin: Who's Aunt Jackie?
Theodore: The one who sends us those metal buckets of yummy popcorn for Christmas.
Alvin: Oh, Popcorn Jackie.

Toby: What was school like for me? Uh, in a word: awesome. But, you know, that's 'cause I was like extremely popular.
Simon: Is that why you still live with your grandma?
Alvin: And refer to yourself as "The Tobester?"
Theodore: And go
[imitating video game]
Theodore: pyu pyu pyu all day?

Alvin: Dave, just think how much you'd miss us if there were six of us.
Dave: Alvin, what did you say?
Alvin: Well, the chipettes needed a place to crash, right? So I said that you said they could stay with us as long as they needed to.
Dave: Alvin...
Alvin: Okay!

Dave: Alvin, you need to share the spotlight. It's not all about you.
Alvin: Sorry, Dave. I can't hear you over the thousands of fans screaming my name.

Alvin: [as Robert DeNiro] You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? I'm the only one here, so you must be talking to me.

Alvin: [entering classroom for the first time] Ah, I love the smell of zitcream in the morning!

Alvin: [as Hannibal Lecter] I'm going crack you like an acorn and eat you for dinner with some fava beans and a nice chianti!
Footballer: Did he say something about my father?

Alvin: Oh, I didn't realize I pocket-dialed 1-800-LOWLIFE.

Alvin: [fighting over a blanket with Simon] You might as well be rooting out truffles in the French countryside because you are in fact hogging!

Alvin: I'm not going anywhere without Da-...
Alvin: ... -aydream believer and a homecoming queen.
Doctor: I hope for your sake he stays asleep for the entire flight.
Simon: Maybe we should give him another shot just to be sure.

Alvin: There's something wrong with the clock! It won't shut up! I can't sleep!
Toby: That's the point. It's an alarm clock. It helps you wake up early in the morning.
Alvin: Why would anyone want to wake up early?

Alvin: Hello, Humane Society? Yes, I need help! A man is after us! He wants to take us to a terrible place... school!

Alvin: Do you know what Dave would say if he were here right now?
Simon, Theodore: [screaming] Alvin!
Alvin: Not bad, but I think it needs to come more from the belly.

[last lines]
Alvin: Oh boy! I suddenly got really, really tired.
Alvin: [laughs]
Alvin: Good night, Dave!
Dave: Alvin!

A Chipmunk Christmas (1981) (TV)
David Seville: Theodore... Simon... Al-vin!
Alvin, Simon, Theodore: Yes, David dear?
David Seville: I am fully aware that there are only five more days before Christmas, and 370 days until next Christmas!

Alvin: Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to meet a very special friend of mine. He's come a long way to help us celebrate the best Christmas Eve ever!

David Seville: [coming up to the boys' room] Maybe I was a little hard on Alvin. I think I'll tell him that I...
Alvin: [panicky, still in his sleep] Money! I need money!
David Seville: [heading back downstairs] I give up.

[after Alvin sings "The Chipmunk Song" with Simon and Theodore, but out of tune]
David Seville: Well?
Alvin: I'll tell you what, Dave, let's take a break.
David Seville: Take a break?
Alvin: Gee, thanks, Dave!
[he zips away]
David Seville: Al-vin!

David Seville: [just discovering the boys raising money to buy Alvin's new Echo harmonica] What's all this?
Simon: We're helping Alvin make money.
David Seville: Al-vin!
Alvin: My name's not Alvin, it's Santa.
David Seville: [advancing toward Alvin] All right, Santa, I'd like a word with you and your elves!
Alvin: I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait in line like everybody else.
David Seville: Now just a minute...

David Seville: [reciting his Christmas poem he wrote several years ago] Yes, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas time, a giving, giving, giving time, so let's all give a cheer for...
Alvin, Simon, Theodore: Money!

David Seville: [after Alvin plays "Silent Night" on his new echo harmonica at the department store] Alvin, I owe you an apology. That was a wonderful thing you did for Tommy.
Alvin: That's okay. Where'd she go?
David Seville: Where did who go? I don't see any...
Alvin: The nice lady who gave me the harmonica for Christmas. She just disappeared.
Theodore: Dave, we'd better get going.
Simon: We don't want to be late for Carnegie Hall.
David Seville: And we have a surprise for you when we get there, Alvin.

Alvin: Gee, what a wonderful day!
Simon: A perfect day for Christmas shopping.
Theodore: Let's go!

David Seville: [after Alvin gets his harmonica, which he forgot] You see, Alvin, it's your responsibility to...
Alvin: Right, Dave. Responsibility. We'll share some responsibility. You go on and get the studio ready, while we go window shopping.
David Seville: Well, that sounds fair enough.
[calling after the boys, skating on their skateboard to the department store]
David Seville: Hey! Don't be late!

Alvin: [as he, Simon, Theodore, and Dave are on their way to their recording session] Working on Christmas vacation is criminal!
David Seville: Aw, come on, you guys. It's only a little recording session.
Alvin: It's work!
David Seville: Maybe I'll let you play your harmonica, Alvin.
Alvin: My harmonica!

"Alvin & the Chipmunks: Who Ghost There?/Romancing Miss Stone (#3.2)" (1985)
Theodore Seville: [Simon and Theodore thrown popcorn on a man in the movie theater to ruin his date at the behest of Alvin. Unfortunately, that man is Dave] Dave!
Simon Seville: [Alvin pulls them behind the seats before they can get Dave's attention] Alvin, why didn't you tell us?
Alvin Seville: Would you have helped me?
Simon Seville, Theodore Seville: NO!
Alvin Seville: I rest my case.

Simon Seville: Behold, my Teleghost Transmitter.
Theodore Seville: Oh.
Theodore Seville: Oh!
Simon Seville: [trying to reach the ghost] Come in. Come in, please.
Voice on Radio: Hello? Hello?
Theodore Seville: The ghost!
Simon Seville: Hello out there. Please, tell us, what do you want?
Voice on Radio: Well, I sure could go for a king size lemonade and a submarine sandwich 'bout now.
Theodore Seville: I told you he was hungry.
Simon Seville: [suspiciously] Who is this anyway?
Voice on Radio: Why, this here is Jim Bob Briggs out of Waco, Texas.
Simon Seville: SIGN OFF, JIM BOB. We're expecting a very important call.
[Teleghost Transmitter blows up]

Theodore Seville: [after seeing Alvin being so sweet to Miss Stone] Is Alvin doing that bad in math?
Simon Seville: I'm afraid it goes deeper than that, Theodore. I think Alvin has a crush on our teacher.

Alvin Seville: It's true. I've found the girl, uh, *woman* of my dreams. No more immature schoolgirls for me. Miss Stone and I are launching into a beautiful relationship.
Simon Seville: [to Theodore] I imagine it's news to her.

David 'Dave' Seville: [lifts Alvin's bike out of Miss Stone's car] Here we go.
David 'Dave' Seville: [Dave and Miss Stone gaze at one another] Alvin, your, uh, toys are all over the living room again.
Alvin Seville: [embarrassed] My *toys*? They must be Theodore's.
David 'Dave' Seville: [trying to get rid of Alvin] ALVIN.
Alvin Seville: I'll, uh, just be a minute Miss Stone.
[walks away]
Alvin Seville: TOYS. How embarrassing.
[Alvin overhears Dave and Miss Stone talking]
Miss Stone: A movie? That sounds wonderful, David.
Alvin Seville: First he HUMILIATES me. Then he steals my woman. Well I'm not gonna take this lying down.

Alvin Seville: [to Simon and Theodore] So you're gonna help me get Miss Stone back.
Theodore Seville: Get her back? From who?
Alvin Seville: That's not important, Theodore.
Simon Seville: Alvin, I don't think Miss Stone was yours to begin with.
Alvin Seville: Oh REALLY, Simon? I wonder if Dave knows who ruined his shirts with a certain automatic iron invention.
Simon Seville: You wouldn't.
Alvin Seville: Oh yeah?
Simon Seville: Okay, what do you want us to do?
Alvin Seville: Help me make Miss Stone regret the day she met this two-timing Casanova.

Alvin Seville: [thinking he ruined Dave's date with Miss Stone] How was your evening, Dave?
David 'Dave' Seville: The best.
Alvin Seville: The best? What do you mean?
David 'Dave' Seville: Well, we got off to a slow start, but later, Linda and I really hit it off.
Alvin Seville: Linda? You're on a first name basis?
Simon Seville: [running to Dave thinking they ruined his date] We're sorry, Dave.
Theodore Seville: Can you ever forgive us?
David 'Dave' Seville: What for, fellas?
Alvin Seville: Dave had a GREAT time on his date with LINDA last night.
Simon Seville, Theodore Seville: You did?
David 'Dave' Seville: Yeah. In fact, we're going out again tomorrow night.
Simon Seville, Theodore Seville: You are?
Alvin Seville: [to himself, angrily] Then it's time to show Miss Stone who the best man really is.

Alvin Seville: Miss Stone.
Miss Stone: Yes, Alvin?
Alvin Seville: I know this is last minute, but how 'bout going out with me tonight?
Miss Stone: I'm very flattered, Alvin, but I'm afraid you're a little young for me.
Alvin Seville: But I'm gonna be 9 next week.

Alvin Seville: Dave, could you bend down a minute?
[Dave bends down and Alvin slaps him with a glove]
David 'Dave' Seville: WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
Simon Seville: I believe Alvin just challenged you to a duel.
Theodore Seville: To see who wins the hand of the fair Miss Stone.
David 'Dave' Seville: What?
[calls Alvin back]
David 'Dave' Seville: Alvin! Alvin! ALVIN!
Alvin Seville: Yes, David?
David 'Dave' Seville: Forget this duel nonsense. You're just a child.
Alvin Seville: Fine. Simon, please tell that adult over there that this child is packing his meager belongings and moving to the orphanage.
David 'Dave' Seville: Okay, Alvin, I accept you're challenge. But *I* choose the weapons.

Alvin Seville: I'm giving up on older women. They're too much trouble.
[the doorbell rings and Simon answers the door]
Theodore Seville: Hi.
Simon Seville: [yells upstairs to Dave] Dave, the babysitter's here!
David 'Dave' Seville: [to the babysitter] Right on time, Sandy.
Alvin Seville: [Alvin immediately falls for her] Sandy, a lovely name for a lovely woman.
[leading her into the living room]
Alvin Seville: And please, call me Alvin.
David 'Dave' Seville: Well, we couldn't expect him to quit cold turkey, could we?

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011)
Alvin: Simon!
Brittany: Uh... Alvin? You're starting to sound like Dave.
Alvin: [gasps] Noooooooooooo!

Alvin: Guys, we're chipmunks! We're used to living in the wild!
Brittany: Uh, no. We're chipmunks that used to be used to living in the wild!

Alvin: You can follow me on Critter.

Alvin: [as James Bond] I like my tail shaken, not stirred.

Alvin: We're alive! We're alive!
Brittany: Good, 'cause now I'm going to kill you!

Zoe: [Simon and Theodore are bungee jumping] We're having the best time. Why did you have to show up and be so uptight?
Alvin: Me, uptight? I'm not the uptight one. I'm the fun one. The cool one. Ask anyone!
Zoe: Who should I ask?

Alvin: Oh, my acorns!

Brittany: Since I'm not the pretty one anymore, maybe I should build a shelter too.
Alvin: Yeah, good luck with that.
Brittany: You think I can't do it?
Alvin: Hey, I didn't say that, Brit. I thought it, but I didn't say it.

Alvin: I think I know why Dave hasn't come.
Brittany: You do? Why?
Alvin: 'Cause he's not even looking.
Brittany: Alvin, why wouldn't he be looking for us?
Alvin: Because I drive him crazy. you know the way Simon's been driving me crazy? I mean, that's what I've been doing to Dave for years. No wonder he hates me.
Brittany: Oh, don't worry, Alvin. I'm sure Dave will come. I mean, he certainly loves Simon and Theodore.

"Alvin & the Chipmunks: New, Improved Simon/The Greatest Show-Offs on Earth (#2.11)" (1984)
Simon Seville: It's Jillian! What do I do?
[drops groceries]
Alvin Seville: What's with him?
Theodore Seville: He likes Jillian, but she doesn't seem to like him.
Simon Seville: She thinks I'm a loser, a reject, a... a...
Theodore Seville: A nerd?
Simon Seville: [sarcastically] Thanks, Theodore.
Alvin Seville: Go talk to her, Simon. Let me see what you're doing wrong.
[pushes him to Jillian]
Simon Seville: No, Alvin.
Alvin Seville: Go on, Simon.
[shoves him]
Simon Seville: [accidentally bangs into Jillian and knocks her over] Uh, hi, Jillian. Please accept my humble apologies.
Alvin Seville: [turns to Theodore] That's his opening line?

Alvin Seville: [Alvin has changed Simon to make him more macho] Okay, Simon, she's right down the aisle. GO GET HER.
Simon Seville: [to Jillian] Hey, hot stuff.
Jillian: [startled] Huh?
[drops her library books]
Jillian: Simon, is that you?
[Jillian is surprised to see Simon in his new macho clothes]
Simon Seville: [trying to sound macho] Just call me Hunk, babe.
Alvin Seville: [whispering to Simon] Tell Jillian she's a foxy mama.
Simon Seville: Mama? That's an improper noun.
Jillian: What did you say?
Simon Seville: Uh, nothing.
[goes to help Jillian pick up her books]
Simon Seville: [still trying to sound macho] Here, sugar, let Hunk get those.

Alvin Seville: [sees Jillian sitting on a park bench] There she is. Ready, Simon?
Simon Seville: [Simon is now dressed like a jock and has all different sports equipment] This better work.
Alvin Seville: I personally guarantee it. Jocks always get the girl. Bruce Jenner, Joe Namath...
Theodore Seville: [trying to help] Liberace.
Alvin Seville: You're not helping, Theodore.

Theodore Seville: [sees Jillian from a distance talking to a guy with a motorcycle] Look, there's Jillian.
Duke: [to Jillian] I got my bike all juiced up for the big race tomorrow.
Jillian: I'll be there cheering for you, Duke.
Alvin Seville: So *that's* it. Jillian's into motorcycle guys.
Alvin Seville: But you do like Jillian, don't you?
Simon Seville: [thinking about it] Well...
Alvin Seville: Trust me. The way to her heart is on two wheels.

Duke: [looks at Simon's bike before the race] Hey, kid. You can go faster on a bus.
Simon Seville: I don't know how you talked me into this, Alvin.
Alvin Seville: One word. Jillian.

Theodore Seville: [at Simon's motorcycle race] I hope nothing goes wrong. Dave would be awfully upset.
Alvin Seville: Don't worry. Dave doesn't even know we're here.
David 'Dave' Seville: [back home in the yard] Fellas, it's time for the yard work!
David 'Dave' Seville: [finds a newspaper on the ground and picks it up to read it]
David 'Dave' Seville: [reading it] Motorcycle Race.
David 'Dave' Seville: They wouldn't.
David 'Dave' Seville: [thinks again] They would!

David 'Dave' Seville: [shocked to see that Simon was just in a motorcycle race] Simon, what's come over you?
Simon Seville: Well, uh... uh...
Alvin Seville: [referring to Jillian] Here she comes now.
Jillian: [runs over to Simon] Simon, I'm so impressed with the modifications on your bike.
Simon Seville: You are?
Jillian: My cousin Duke wants to know all about them.
Simon Seville: Your cousin?
[walks over to Alvin, furious]

David 'Dave' Seville: Well, Simon's back to his old self.
Alvin Seville: [starts up Simon's motorcycle] So he won't be needing *this*.
Theodore Seville: [Alvin and Theodore ride off] Bye, Dave!
David 'Dave' Seville: ALVIN!

"Alvin & the Chipmunks: Alvin, Alvin, Alvin!/Dave's Dream Cabin (#5.4)" (1987)
Theodore Seville: I baked your favorite cake, Alvin. Banana coconut.
Simon Seville: [carrying books] And I got these for you at the library.
[holds one up]
Simon Seville: And this one always cheers me up when I'm down: Math Problems for Rainy Day Weekends.
Alvin Seville: [not enthused]
Simon Seville: [tries another book] Uh, how about The Best of Math Problems for Rainy Day Weekends? It's got some great long division.
Alvin Seville: [still not enthused]
David 'Dave' Seville: [whispering to Theodore] This oughta do it. Hey, Alvin. I've got two free passes to tonight's Bruce Springsteen concert. What do ya say?
Alvin Seville: [screams]
David 'Dave' Seville: What did I say?
Simon Seville: Springsteen.
David 'Dave' Seville: Oh, I forgot!

Alvin Seville: [the house shakes from Alvin performing loud Rock music] I was born in the USA!
Alvin Seville: I'm a new man! The world won't have Alvin Seville to kick around anymore. No more Mr. Nice Guy.
Theodore Seville, Simon Seville: Mr. Nice Guy?

Alvin Seville: [using a jackhammer on the driveway] Jackhammerin' in the USA!
David 'Dave' Seville: Alvin, what are you doing?
Alvin Seville: [with a tough voice] What a workin' man does. Building blisters.
David 'Dave' Seville: You've ruined the driveway. How am I supposed to get the car in and out?
Alvin Seville: [with a tough voice] Forget the car. Be a man. Get a tank.
David 'Dave' Seville: A tank? Alvin!
Alvin Seville: Call me The Boss.

David 'Dave' Seville: [going into a rough place to eat dinner] Are you sure this is where you want to eat dinner, Alvin?
Alvin Seville: [with a tough voice] It's a tough place for tough guys.
Waiter: [serves the table] Here's your grits, gravy, and granite.
Alvin Seville: [with a tough voice] Okay, everybody, CHOW DOWN!
[falls asleep and his face lands in his plate]
David 'Dave' Seville: I think *The Boss* has had it.
Simon Seville: His bandana was probably on too tight.

Simon Seville: Help1 Help! I've been robbed! My life savings, gone.
Theodore Seville: No, it's not. Alvin borrowed it.
Simon Seville: He borrowed it? For what?
Simon Seville: [to Alvin] A LAMA? You spent my life savings on a LAMA?
Alvin Seville: [dressed as and talking like Michael Jackson] Such a peaceful animal. It brings out the sensitivity in me.
Simon Seville: Alvin, he's eating the couch!
Alvin Seville: Call me Michael.

Alvin Seville: [coming into the kitchen for breakfast with his lama] Good morning, family members.
David 'Dave' Seville: Morning, Alvin.
Alvin Seville: [still imitating Michael Jackson] David, please. Call me Michael.
David 'Dave' Seville: Sorry, Michael.
[the lama starts to eat from one of the bowls at the table]
David 'Dave' Seville: This is getting ridiculous.
Alvin Seville: Be patient, David. I'm in search of a new me.
David 'Dave' Seville: There been a new you everyday this week.

"Alvin & the Chipmunks: Back to Dave's Future/Tell It to the Judge (#5.1)" (1987)
Simon Seville: Based on the time travel experiments I was conducting at home, I suspect we have traveled back to 1962.
Alvin Seville: Before MTV?
Theodore Seville: Or frozen yogurt?
Theodore Seville, Alvin Seville: Get us out of here!

Alvin Seville: [sees younger Dave playing with his paddle ball toy] And he said he never played with that in the house.

Younger Dave: Maybe I should give up and become an accountant like my Dad.
Theodore Seville, Simon Seville, Alvin Seville: An accountant?
Dave's Bandmate: Oh man, Dave, you can't quit now. The prom contest is tomorrow.
Younger Dave: I don't think we have a chance of winning.
Simon Seville: If Dave becomes an accountant, then that means we'll be accountants too.
Theodore Seville: I can't be an accountant. I'm terrible at math.
Alvin Seville: We've got to save ourselves!

Younger Dave: [tries to sing song Alvin wrote for him] I call my baby on my cellular phone.
Younger Dave: What's that?
Younger Dave: [continues singing] I can leave a message if there's no one home.
Younger Dave: How?
Alvin Seville: Dave, take five.
[takes the guitar away and plays the song with Simon and Theodore]

Alvin Seville: [runs over to hug Dave] Dave, your back! You finished your song!
David 'Dave' Seville: Actually, I ended up deciding to use a song I wrote when I was in high school.
David 'Dave' Seville, Alvin Seville: [singing] Forget about your troubles. Who cares about the past?
David 'Dave' Seville: Alvin, how could you know the words to that song? The last time I sang it was in my senior year of high school.
Alvin Seville: That's when I wrote it for you.
[turning to Simon and Theodore]
Alvin Seville: Right?

"Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Wall/The Amazing Chipmunks (#6.20)" (1988)
David 'Dave' Seville: [about the other side of the Wall] Even rock and roll is against the law there.
Alvin Seville: Rock and roll? Against the law? Who'd want to live there?
Simon Seville: They don't exactly have a choice, Alvin.

David 'Dave' Seville: The Wall was built after a war that divided the country in two; once a year this side of the wall has a concert for their friends and family on the other side, where many freedoms we take for granted are denied.

Alvin Seville: All you're doing is staring at a stupid wall, when you could be staring at me.
Katarina: I'm waiting for my brother. He's on the other side.
Alvin Seville: What is he? A pole vaulter?
Katarina: No, Eric was unable to escape when we did. Every day, he sends my family a message.
Alvin Seville: Really? How?
[gets hit with a soccer ball]
Katarina: Oh, let me help you.
Alvin Seville: What does he say?
Katarina: 'I'm okay, can you play Boss records tonight? Miss you. Love Eric'.
Simon Seville: He wants you to play Springsteen?
Katarina: Eric LOVES rock and roll. He says knowing and playing his favorite music makes him feel better.

Alvin Seville: [captured by German guards] This is it! The long walk! The end of the line! The last goodbye!

Alvin Seville: [singing] Far from the battlefield, far from war, we've got to look for an open door. All of us working, all of us searching for peace! We dream of a time when we all are one, clinging to hope, under earth's bright sun. So let's get together, things will be better if we try, hear our cry!
Alvin Seville, Simon Seville, Theodore Seville: Someday the pain of war will be healed. Someday when we can speak what we feel. Let the wall come down, tumble to the ground, and love will live in peace all around.
Alvin Seville: So let's raise our voice, so they all can hear, over the Wall they will raise a cheer! All of us clinging! All of us singing the cry, we will try!
Alvin Seville, Simon Seville, Theodore Seville: Someday the pain of war will be healed. Someday when we can speak what we feel. Let the wall come down, tumble to the ground, and love will live in peace all around.

Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein (1999) (V)
Alvin Seville: [Reacting a scene]
Alvin Seville: I'm not the one you want Natasha, I'll only make you miserable. You want someone who wants to settle down and have a family.
Alvin Seville: [Joining in] Don't tell me what I want Arthur! You're the only man I've ever loved... will ever love!
Theodore: [Watching] Oh! Oh! This is when the sister comes in!
Theodore: Natasha! Natasha! Daddy's gone!
Alvin Seville: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Alvin Seville: Don't touch the cap.

Dr. Frankenstein: I am going to turn you into a mindless zombie. Have you ever seen a mindless zombie?
Alvin Seville: Are you kidding? I live in Hollywood!

Dr. Frankenstein: Finally - my fiendish formula is finished.
Alvin Seville: Try saying that three times - quickly!
Dr. Frankenstein: My finished formula is frrr... my formlest fiendula is... my fishiest formula... my fie... never mind!

Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue (1990) (TV)
Theodore: There's someone who needs your help!
Alvin: What? Another autograph hound?

Theodore: What's all this for?
Alvin: Either someone's conducting a major chemistry experiment, or this is a serious no-no.
Gordon 'ALF' Shumway: Toto, something tells me we're not in cartoon territory anymore.

Gordon 'ALF' Shumway: That kid's got a one-way ticket to Nowheresville.
Theodore: Simon suspects drugs.
Pooh: Oh, my!
Slimer: Ooh! That's bad moves!
Alvin: Michael needs our help!
Slimer: Then let's help him!

"Alvin & the Chipmunks: Teevee or Not Teevee/A Rash of Babies (#4.2)" (1986)
Female Reporter: Is it true your movie will star Sylvester Stallone?
Alvin Seville: Sly will be my co-star.
David 'Dave' Seville: [angry] ALVIN.
Female Reporter: And The Rolling Stones will definitely be an opening act for your world tour?
Alvin Seville: Only if we don't decide to use Springsteen.
David 'Dave' Seville: [angrier] ALVIN.
Male Reporter: When will you take over officially as Johnny Letterman's permanent co-host?
Simon Seville, Theodore Seville: What?
David 'Dave' Seville: [very angry] ALVIN!

Alvin Seville: [excited] I want lights, smoke bombs, I want a GIANT keyboard to lower me down to the stage. I want...
Johnny Letterman Stagehand: Hey, why don't you relax, kid. Your only gonna be on TV for a minute.

Johnny Letterman: And now, I'd like to announce my special guest for tomorrow night's show. The hottest rock and rollers in the country, Alvin and the Chipmunks.
David 'Dave' Seville: [watching on TV] What did he say?
Alvin Seville: He *said*, we're gonna be on his show tomorrow night.
David 'Dave' Seville: Alvin, how did you ever get a booking on the Johnny Letterman Show?
Alvin Seville: Oh, Johnny and I are like
[crosses his fingers]
Alvin Seville: *this*, Dave.
David 'Dave' Seville: Since when?
Theodore Seville: Since Alvin's been calling him everyday.
Simon Seville: For a month.
David 'Dave' Seville: You called Johnny Letterman everyday for a MONTH?
Alvin Seville: Well, I never called on weekends.

"Alvin & the Chipmunks: Don't Be a Vidiot/A Horse, of Course (#2.2)" (1984)
Alvin Seville: [directing a music video] Okay, quiet on the set! Places everybody! I want this to be the biggest, the best, most colossal video ever filmed!
Assistant Director: Uh, where do you want the dancing camels, Mr. Alvin?
Alvin Seville: Over by the water fountain.

Alvin Seville: [filming] Cut! I can't get everything in the picture! I've got to move back.
[starts to move camera back]
Assistant Director: No! No! You can't do that!
Alvin Seville: Ha! Did you tell that to Fellini? To Spielberg?
[crashes into the wall]

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Trick or Treason (1994) (TV)
Simon: As a member of your gene pool, I have to believe you're above this.
Alvin: Well, I'm not.
Simon: I just hope no one recognizes me.

Simon: Alvin! You lied to me! We're not recycling.
Alvin: No, I adjusted the truth to get what I wanted. Adults do it all the time.
Simon: Don't stoop to *their* level!

"Alvin & the Chipmunks: Some Entrancing Evening/Match Play (#2.4)" (1984)
David 'Dave' Seville: How are we doing, boys?
Simon Seville: Well, at the halfway point, you're leading by 6 strokes.
Theodore Seville: Keep this up and you won't lose your autographed golf club. Oops.
David 'Dave' Seville: MY WHAT?
[putts and misses]
David 'Dave' Seville: [to Alvin] Theodore wouldn't happen to be talking about my ARNOLD PALMER golf club, WOULD HE?
Alvin Seville: Uh, it's possible.
Simon Seville: Uh, Alvin bet your golf club against a date in Higgins' club.
Alvin Seville: [laughs nervously] Nothing to do now, but play to win. Eh, Dave?
David 'Dave' Seville: After the game we're going to have a long talk, Alvin.
Alvin Seville: I hate long talks.

"Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Chipmunks Story (#1.4)" (1983)
David 'Dave' Seville: [have just found the baby Chipmunks on his doorstep and brought them in] There you are, all snuggy-poo! Now Daddy-Davey's gonna get some sleep. Nighty-night!
Simon Seville: Nighty-night?
Theodore Seville: Daddy-Davey?
Alvin Seville: Snuggy-poo? This poor man needs help!

"Alvin & the Chipmunks: Star Wreck (The Absolutely Final Frontier) (#8.6)" (1990)
[as they are checking that they have everything]
Alvin Seville: Popcorn?
Theodore Seville: Check!
Alvin Seville: 3-D glasses?
Everyone: Check!
[they all put them on]
Simon Seville: Wait a minute. Alvin, this movie isn't in 3-D!
Alvin Seville: Yeah, but don't we look cool?

"Alvin & the Chipmunks: Food for Thought (#6.6)" (1988)
Simon Seville: Good job, Theodore. You got an A-.
Theodore Seville: All right! Wait a minute. What's the minus for?
Simon Seville: You only missed one question. Our country's bird is the bald eagle, not the stuffed turkey.
Theodore Seville: Oh.

"Alvin & the Chipmunks: Grounded Chipmunk (#6.16)" (1988)
David 'Dave' Seville: Good morning Alvin. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, AND YOU MUST, is to have the house spotless by this evening. No excuses Alvin. Oh, and one more thing: NO TV! This tape will self-destruct after five seconds. If you're still watching after that, YOU will self-destruct.

"Alvin & the Chipmunks: Soccer to Me/Every Chipmunk Tells a Story (#3.6)" (1985)
David 'Dave' Seville: The way that I see it.
[points to Theodore]
David 'Dave' Seville: You Theodore, shouldn't of been messing around in the kitchen.
David 'Dave' Seville: [points to Simon] You Simon, shouldn't have tried to get the piano upstairs.
David 'Dave' Seville: [points to Alvin] And you, Alvin...
Alvin Seville: I know. I should never have been born.